Question:
I need help making this decision
I am scheduled for surgery in 2-1/2 weeks, but now I'm having BIG doubts, partly because my sister had an open RNY about 3 weeks ago and has had a few problems, but also because I have been able to lose about 25 lbs. on my own in the last couple of months and I'm wondering if I should just keep doing it on my own or if I should have the surgery. For you post-ops, what are the benefits of having the surgery vs. losing it on my own and keeping it off if I can do it - and for those of you who opted not to have it, do you regret it now? I need to make a decision this week, so any help would be appreciated. — [Anonymous] (posted on July 9, 2001)
July 9, 2001
I had researched WLS for two years, and I can't count the times that I
decided it wasn't for me, and tried to take the weight off myslef. I have
lost between 25 lbs to 50 lbs on numerous occasions, only to finally
balloon up to 463 lbs. I had DGB/DS 12 weeks ago, and have so far lost
74lbs. I would do it over again in a heartbeat. Every time I see a change
on the scales, I can say goodbye to those pounds FOREVER, and not worry
about ever being that heavy again. It is a new sense of freedom to not have
to worry about it. If you are anything like me, you have already tried
every diet imaginable, had some successes, only to regain your total amount
and then some. If you think you can do it on your own, go for it. There is
no hurry to have WLS. Like I said, it took me two years to realize it is
what I really needed/wanted for me to be happy and healthy. Good luck with
your decision.
— Kim B.
July 9, 2001
Think back and ask yourself how many times you have tried a different
diet..how many lbs did you lose each time...compare it to how many you
gained back with more...If you are like most of us here then i assume you
have had a long term weight problem and was maybe able to lose at different
times but unable to maintain. You need to look at all that and compare it
to the fact that with surgery you will lose the weight..and keep it off. It
is very unhealthy to yo-yo diet. What risks does your weight pose to you
physically and/or mentally and compare to the risk of surgery. From the
statistics i have read many more people die waiting for this surgery than
from it. I wish you luck in your decision.
— [Anonymous]
July 9, 2001
first of all, Congrats on the weight loss! That's fabulous! You really
need to think about what you're doing differently and, more importantly,
whether you think this can continue for the rest of your life (i.e. - if it
is an extremely restrictive diet that resulted in the loss, it may be next
to impossible to keep it off long term. However, if it's a drastic change
in eating habits, exercise and outlook -- it may be a great step in the
right direction!).
I had lap DS five months ago and don't regret it for a millisecond. I've
lost about 70 lbs so far (and have 70 more to go to ideally get to my range
of low 170's), I had a starting bmi of 45 and thought 'oh, do I really
need this? Can't I try one more time?' My answer was NO. I HAD tried
countless times and I HAD lost weight. The problem was keeping it OFF. It
always yo-yo'd back up and even more than before -- so easily.
My advice to you is that if you are satisifed with how you're doing, be
sure to document it (better if it's physician monitored). That way, *IF*
you do re-gain in the future this experience could be used as ammunition to
get your approval. Perhaps you need this time to really seriously think
about the surgery (it is a major event) and how comfortable you are with it
(it is a lifelong adjustment). If you honestly do not think that this
weight will stay off long term, then surgery is probably the right decision
for you at this point. I wish you the best! Teresa ([email protected], lap
ds with gallbladder removal, January 25, 2001)
— Teresa N.
July 9, 2001
I had an open BPD/DS 3 months ago. I'd do it again yesterday if I had to. 2
years ago I had lost about 35 lbs by changing my eating habits and
exercising. I was exercising like a mad woman. I would walk 12-15 miles a
day on the treadmill at the gym. I wouldn't get off until I burned 1000
calories(I used the incline). I also did Jazzercise 3x a week and on Tues
& Thrs. I did it 2x that day. All this was great until I got sick. I
experienced many symptoms of Gall Bladder and all the tests came back
negative(for 2 yrs)I also suffered from extreme chest pains with Acid
Reflux and had surgery for that. My problem was once I stopped the exercise
All the weight came flooding back on me. Didn't matter that I was still
eating ok. Congrats on losing the weight on your own. What a great
accomplishment!!!!But, are you exercising now to do it? If so, can you
continue or what happens when you're older and not able to exercise. I'm
not saying you can't do it. Some people can and do and you may be one of
them. Just look at all the factors. I agree with Teresa that if you decide
to continue on your own have this documented by your Dr. That way if in the
future you change your mind it's in your arsenal. Also, just because your
sister had problems dsn't mean you will. I love that I've lost 50 lbs and
20 1/2" in such a short period of time. I'm making many of the same
choices altho better more often. I have no regrets but I went into this
with no regrets either. It's okay to have doubts,it's okay to wait and try
on your own. It's okay to not be ready now! That dsn't make you a bad
person. You may decide that what's right for you is to continue this way
for a year and see how things go. Then, maybe you can make a better choice
if you need help or not. I personally needed the help and I certainly
didn't take the easy way out. I still have to watch what I eat and
hopefully I'll be back on the treadmill soon with consistency. All things
you are doing on your own. The only difference between you and I is that my
stomach can't hold as much. Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide.
I don't think you're wrong to try again since you've been having so much
success. The question is:Can you continue or maintain it. Heck, Luther
VanDross has lost 125 lbs 14x. There is no way in hell I could have EVER
done it 1x. Only you know what you're capable of!Best wishes in whatever
you choose!
— Linda M.
July 9, 2001
If I would of only answered that ? for myself before I had this surgury.
The open rny ISNT for every one. I really wish I would of tried just one
more time to lose the weight on my own.. I can honestly say I wasnt ready
for this. I wasnt ready for the throwing up and the pacing myself. There
is alot of stuff that I cant tolerate, I am eating about 2 tblspoons each
time I eat which isnt much. You have to really read the food lables, it is
alot of work and it isnt a easy way out by any means!! Sit down and really
look at your life style and if you are ready to give up ALOT of the foods
you love and sugar. I really wish I would of took some time to reflect, so
here I am a 33 yr old really wishing I would of never did this. email me
if you want to talk
— renee J.
July 9, 2001
While not one of us can help you make a decision. We can offer advise.
Congrats on the loss you have made. You are doing wonderful on your own. I
have yo-yo dieted for a total of 20 years. I have been a size 10 to a size
46. Now that I have had the surgery. I am on my way down and my goal is a
size 14. Having the surgery is a personal decision. I decided to have it
because of all my comorbities. I had swelling in my legs, asthma, I
couldn't walk a flight of stairs without having to stop and catch my
breath. I had high blood pressure, and gout. Well I have lost 65 pounds
and all of these things are gone. I don't take anymore meds for anything
anymore. Also each person that has the surgery is different. You said
your sister had the surgery and had some problems. It doesn't automaticly
mean that you will. The first 3 days are the toughest. And then it slowly
gets better. It does take time to get back to normal. But the decision
has to be yours and yours alone. No one here will think badly if you
decide to not have the surgery. And if you do we will be here to support
you too.
— [Anonymous]
July 9, 2001
If you think you can be one of the 5% who can lose weight and keep it off,
then by all means you should avoid surgery. Only you know yourself well
enough to make that decision. I had the Duodenal Switch after a 30 year
history of losing & gaining. I know in my heart I was never going to
be one of those 5% who could keep it off. I proved that to my self over
the 30 years. I thank God for the DS & the wonderfully, dedicated
surgeons who performed this on me, who, quite literally extended my life.
It's a difficult decision, but one, only you can make.. Good luck to you...
— [Deactivated Member]
July 9, 2001
The first thing I want to say is - the decision can be made by you and only
you -
However - I gave myself one last chance before opting for surgery - I took
1 year to give it my all - I lost 60lbs by working my butt off - I was so
so proud of myself and knew I could beat this - however, after about 9
months - it slowly started to come back - I got tired of working so hard -
I dont mind working on it - but every single day it was a conscious
decision on how I was going to do and I had such a long way to go - well
needless to saw after a little over a year I ended gaining it all back - I
finally opted for surgery - I had went from 320 to 260 back up to 334 by
the time of surgery -
I am now 8 weeks post op - I am down 45lbs or more and I have not felt it
to be a struggle - granted it also takes work - but I feel my new eating
habits are becomming more normal to me and I dont have to kill myself with
exercise - so I actually enjoy it again.
I do know I will reach my goal and keep it there with my new eating habits
and fullness satisfaction - I dont even have a fear anymore - I just know
it will happen with a little work on my part.
Hope you make the right decison for you - good luck.
— Sharon Jones
July 9, 2001
This is a very personal decision that only YOU can make. I made the
decision NOT to have this surgery. It just so happens that I met a woman
via this website who lives only a couple of miles from me the weekend
before her surgery date of 6/13/01. I had just learned that I had received
my insurance approval. She and I talked about the dangers, our personal
struggles and so forth. We talked about how scared I was to have this
surgery. I knew I could handle the side affects of the surgery but was
scared crapless about the complications. She calmed my fears. She made me
realize the reasons I wanted this surgery. I told my husband that I was
going to base my final decision to have or not to have wls on how her
surgery/post op went. This person's name is Karla Morgan. She's had some
very serious complications from her wls. She is still in the hospital
today (7/9/01)in the ICU and will most likely be there for some time to
come. This was very sobering for me. (I also have to mention that in my
NON-MEDICAL humble opinion that I beleive Karla's problems if not caused by
her surgeon were not properly cared for by her surgeon after discovered.
Again, this is MY OPINION ONLY. I didn't got to medical school!) It
really put a "name to the face" or more like a "face to the
complications". It was the straw that broke the camels back. I
decided that I would continue to struggle with my weight. I made an appt
with my family doctor to begin another diet. I know this road will not be
easy, I have been down it many times before. I know I will probably not be
one of the lucky ones who conquers morbid obesity. I will struggle with
this the rest of my life but as long as I continue to be conscious of what
I eat (I don't mean diet - I mean trying to control my binges more, stay
away from candy...)and exercise I think I can remain a healthy, fat person
and alive for my two young children. I guess in a nut shell, you could say
I'm gonna wait for the magic pill that scientists are working on...
PS: I am still an advocate for WLS. I argue its benefits everyday. I'm
just too darn chicken to have it myself. Good luck!
— Karen B.
July 9, 2001
i dont know if this will offer help to u in making a decision (or anyone
else) or not, but, i must tell u what dr fobi told me & my husband when
i met with him last week. my husbands question was 'why does she gain even
more weight back when she loses weight?' his answer not only made sense to
us it made me feel like someone lifted a load off my shoulders. people who
suffer from obesity r genetically made differently than people who dont.
our gene(s) tell our body 'here comes more fuel! use some of it but pack
most of it away cause when there is a famine we r going to need to live off
ourselves to survive.' this is a throwback to thousands of years ago when
man hunted, fished or caught his food & when there was nothing to hunt,
fish or catch, his body lived off of what was 'packed'away. he then lost
all his excess weight (no incoming fuel for his body) & by that time
there was 'game' available again for hunting, fishing & catching. this
was a cycle. today, we 'pack' our fuel 'just in case' because our genes
never evolved to where they recognize this is a time of feast not famine.
& because there is no famine & plenty of food available to us, our
bodies r still packing away most of the fuel we consume. hence, since we
suffer no famine, our bodies never get the time to use the fuel thats
stored. the end result? obesity. when we diet & gain the weight plus
more back its our body telling us...'hehehe im wise to u. u r not going to
starve me again. i will just pack away more fuel.'
i felt like i was shown the light at the end of the tunnel. that info was a
result of research dr fobi has done. i am convinced that i must have this
surgery because no matter what my mind tells my body, my body has a mind of
my own. in fact, hubby even said...'now i WANT u to have the surgery cause
i understand what obesity is.'
whatever u decide it must be ur decision. whatever decision u make remember
that we will always be here at wls to support u.
good luck
— sheryl titone
July 9, 2001
Renee- don't be down, sounds like you are very early post-op (your profile
is hidden). Surgery is not only major trauma on your body, but your brain,
too. ANesthesia and painkillers are depressants - you will probably feel
amazingly different ina few days. Also, if we all based our life's
decision on one personss experience, well, no one would ever have any kids,
thats for sure! Everyone must evaluate the risks, for THEMSELVES, however.
I wish you the best of luck.
— M. A. B.
July 9, 2001
I have felt exactly as you have these last few months. I have lost weight
too, but I still want to have the surgery. I am 23 and I have really
struggled with my weight since I was very young. I am relatively healthy
so surgery is a difficult undertaking because I worry I will be exchanging
one set of complications for another. I decided to wait a year until
having surgery now that year has become 11 months and slowly I am beginning
to truly understand all about obesity, the surgery and what both can do to
me longterm. It is just a toss up honestly. No one really knows much of
anything for certain and that's scary! If you ever want to chat about your
fears please email me. I have found that my support group and my email
buddies have gotten me through some of the tough times. A good support
network is very important when you are feeling down or unsure or whatever.
A woman from my support group nearly died after surgery due to
complications unrelated to the actual RNY proceedure. She went through
months and months of physical therapy and her weight loss has been slow,
but she says she would do it again. Her story gives me strength to face my
fears. It's a journey not a destination, so if you need more time take more
time. Take care:-) and Good luck with everything!
— Sara A
July 12, 2001
Hey there. No one but you can determine if you should have this surgery or
not. I had my surgery 6/11/01 and had MAJOR complications. I am 30 and in
good health except for the weight issue. I knew what could happen before I
had it done but I tended to listen to the folks who were in the hospital
for 4 days and back to work after two weeks. My pouch started to leak on
the 4th day and so I had to be re-opened and had it re-done. Instead of 4
days I was in the hospital for 19 days. Please think carefully before you
decide and completely understand all the risks beforehand. I wish you the
best. Chris, Idaho Falls, ID
— Chris B.
July 12, 2001
1994, distal RNY, and have weighed 110-115 since I stabilized. Would I do
it again? I DID do it again, 2000. Same procedure, repaired the older
model. I would do it yet again. My procedure is very restrictive, sugar
makes me sorry I heard the word, I do not (nor can I use milk), and my
portions are small. I also have to supplement more than other WLS
procedures. I had the chance to change my surgery, but I didn't. There is
not one moment of post-op life that I would exchange for the constant
battle of dieting. The few things I cannot eat now, are NOTHING in
comparison to the horrors I put myself through dieting for years at a time.
I didn't touch a potato for 10 years. I mean, BE SERIOUS! No sugar then,
no starch, no fun at all. And I still made it up to 262, starving while I
went. Life was miserable. I know you're not asking about the comorbs lost
(I was dying, myself), but more lifestyle. Yes, I have some restrictions.
Like I'm too light to open some public doors, I sometimes have to buy kids'
clothes. Um, I can deal with it. My lungs work, my feet work, and my labs
are better than they EVER were with all the dieting I did. For me, no
contest. I'd do this surgery annual if I had to. And that doesn't come
easy. My husband had a post-op leak & I nearly lost him. But having
survived it, he also would do it again. The quality of life NOW vs quality
of life THEN? NO CONTEST.
— vitalady
July 17, 2001
You say someone you know had some problems - well check out my profile
Diane C in PA and you will not believe the problems I have had since
surgery. I still am not my old self (3 months now. But only you can
choose what works for you... my prayers are with you. Hugs,
— Surgery 2001
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