Question:
2 days before my surgery and I am having serious second thoughts......

Up until this time I was very excited. This morning I woke up sick to my stomach at the thought of surgery in just 2 days. I am having all of these awful thoughts about everything that can go wrong during the surgery, wondering how my husband and children will survive if I don't come back, etc. I am crazy? I have longed for this day for so long and now I can't get past this sick feeling that I have in my stomach and throat. Has anyone gone through this?    — Kathi L. (posted on December 5, 1999)

December 5, 1999
Kathi, I don't know if this will help you feel better but I am exp- eriencing the same thing. I am also having surgery on Tues. The one thing that helps me is to realize living morbidly obese carries more risks than this surgery. With each passing year of living at this weight my body begins to show further signs of its deterioriation. I wonder if I could suffer a heart attack or stroke? The odds are in favor of those maladies and several others. Obese woman are even more likely to get breast cancer. To have surgery or not is a tough decision and a really scary decision as well. I know I have to do this or I probably will be wheelchair bound in six months because of my rapidly deteriorating knees, so the choice was clear. I also dis- covered I was getting more scared of living than dying. I hope all goes okay with us both. I have arranged to get a blessing from my religious leader the day before the surgery and this has relaxed me tremendously. Listen to your heart and you will be fine. Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you no matter what you decide. Julie
   — Julie M.

December 5, 1999
I know excatly what you are feeling, I am six weeks post op and I am very happy I went through with it, but the whole morning of my wls I was a wreck!! I must of went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out about four or fives times before they wheeled me back, my kids were there and my husband and I kept looking at them and thinking, is this the last time I will see them?? I was fine, I woke up in the recovery room in discomfort and then they gave me my pca pump and I was up and walking by 7:00 that night, I didn't even get out of the operationing room until 2:00 that afternoon...I was so proud of myself and it was the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders becausefor months I thought about the wls and waited and had anxiety over it and finally it was over and believe me it was so worth it!! I will be thinking of you!! Kim
   — Kimberly B.

December 5, 1999
KATHI, IT IS NORMAL TO BE SCARED. I WAS VERY NERVOUS. I WAS EXCITED UNTIL THE DAY GOT CLOSER. THEN I BECAME VERY QUIET AND WITHDRAWN. I WENT TO THE HOSP. THE MORNING OF SURGERY AND IN MY HEAD I STARTED TO FREAK OUT . I CRIED FOR ABOUT 25 MIN. AND I DID NOT FULLY GET MYSELF TOGETHER. FINALLY THE DUDE WITH THR DRUGS CAME IN AND PUT IN MY I.V. AND I SAID YOU BETTER GIVE ME SOMETHING FAST BEFORE I RUN LIKE HELL AND SO HE DID. WHAT A WONDERFUL THING MEDS!!!!! I CALMED DOWN AND I WENT RIGHT ON IN TO SURGERY AND HAD NO PROBLEMS. IT IS NORMAL TO BE SCARED BUT TRY TO STAY FOCUSED. I AM POST-OP 3 WEEKS AND DOWN 35 LBS. I AM HAPPY I DID IT NOW AND WILL WILL BE TOO. ADMIT IT IF WE COULD CHANGE OUR LIVE ON OUR OWN WE WOULD NOT HAVE WENT TO THE SURGEON. THATS WHAT I KEPT TELLING MYSELF. I HOPE THIS HELPS.REMEMBER IT WILL BE ALRIGHT TRUST IN THE LORD.
   — BRENDA K.