Question:
Hi Friends, I need some of your wonderful responses to the following:
I am on another e-mail list (not weight related). One of the ladies sent the following post: "I am going in for gastric Bypass surgery. I know some of you don't believe in it, and some of you do. But I want you to know that I do feel deeply that this is the right decision for me. I have been researching this for years, and have a few friends who have under gone this procedure also. Yes I do know what I am in for and I am very excited. the thought of being able to play with my kids and not get winded excites me. also the thought of actually shopping in a regular department in a store is exhilarating." I was so excited for her and sent her a post wishing her lots of luck and good wishes. Then today I see a reply to her post as follows: "My opinion (for which you did NOT ask, I know!): If you can only eat what you eat AFTER the surgery, then just eat only that BEFORE the surgery! (I'd do without fruits so I can have my chocolate, though!) The surgery only forces you to not be able to eat more than that. The rapid weight loss is because what you take in in so very drastically reduced. Nothing miraculous about it. A glass of Metamucil before every meal will get you the same full feeling." I wanted to reach through my computer and slap her. The only response I want to send right now is that the neighboring village called and wants their idiot back. I know my friends here can come up with a more appropriate response to her callous thoughts. Thanks for your help. Mona,Lap RNY 11-08-02 -91 (slow looser & ok with it) — Mona R. (posted on August 14, 2003)
August 13, 2003
Let this chick know that saying Metamucil make us lose weight just like
this surgery (obviously she doesnt know anything about malabsorption!) is
like saying taking an aspirin will make YOU smarter. Looks like there's a
slim chance of THAT happening. (so much for my non-negativity
policy:)sometimes you just gotta reach out and smack 'em!!
— kathy B.
August 13, 2003
Dang..I meant would make HER smarter...not YOU:)
— kathy B.
August 13, 2003
Apparently, she doesn't use the "metamucil trick".....because she
is so full of !@#$!!!
— teresa M.
August 13, 2003
I don't think medical science has come up with a cure for stupidity yet . .
. but they're workin' on it!
— lorien
August 13, 2003
"Thank you for your concern. It might help if you had more
information, I recommend you check out obesityhelp.com. The surgery works
in 2 major ways, Metamucil addresses neither. Believe me, if it worked, no
one would be getting surgery as it is a drastic measure that causes major
changes in a persons life, health and outlook." I believe in killing
them with kindness. Good luck.
— Sunny S.
August 14, 2003
It is truly unbelievable how ignorant some people are! I had a
"friend" say the same thing to me a few weeks ago. She is also
MO, which is why I don't understand how she could even think of saying such
a thing. She told me that her and her husband were talking and they both
had a "brilliant" idea: "How about just eating as much now
as you will be able to eat after the surgery and you will lose the weight
without having to go through the drastic surgery." Needless to say, I
spend a whole lot less time with her now.
— kristynush
August 14, 2003
I agree with Sunny's answer below- but I'd take it a bit further. Kindness
doesnt always do the trick when you need to tell someone they are being
really dumb. Sometimes a smack is more effective. How about this:
"You're right, I didn't ask for your opinion, but since you felt
compelled to give it, I thank you for your concern. It might help if you
had some actual knowledge of the subject that you seem to have an opinion
on. I recommend you check out obesityhelp.com and get some facts to go
along with your opinion. The surgery works in 2 major ways, Metamucil
addresses neither. If you actually spend some time learning some facts
about the disease of obesity and want to discuss the subject further, I'd
be happy to have a dialog with you. Until then, I'd appreciate you keeping
your uninformed opinions on this proceedure to your self." oh yeah-
and "Have a nice day" That just makes me mad! Hope this lady
lets her have it.
— LMCLILLY
August 14, 2003
Well, I just hate that Metamucil stuff and could never get it down, so I
decided to take the easy way out and have surgery instead. (end of
sarcasm) Really, someone needs to give this moron an education. I just
really hate it when people pretend to be experts on things they know
nothing about!!!
— MomBear2Cubs
August 14, 2003
I haven't had surgery yet (still planning to, pending insurance approval),
but I got a similar response from one of my dear friends when I told her I
was considering surgery. True, my friend was a great deal more tactful
than Metamucil Lady, but the sentiment was the same - "If you're
clearly willing to change your life, why not just modify your eating habits
without getting the surgery?"
Here's my reply - long, I know...:
"The trouble that I'm running into is that, of all the "Lifestyle
Changes" I've made in the course of my life in an attempt to get
healthier/lose weight, I've flaked on all of them. I'll get clicking along
swimmingly for a while, then, for some reason or another, I'll break. On
Jenny Craig, it was, "I can't afford to buy another week's worth of
their food, so I'll just fake it this week..." and then I never went
back. When I was doing journalling, the break came at, "Oh, it was a
stressful week at work, and the only thing available is really bad for me,
so I'll just ignore today, eat whatever today, and start again
tomorrow..." and I haven't had more than two days at a time since.
With early morning exercising, it was "I'm sick right now, so I'll go
back when I'm better..." I've been better for 4 months, and have only
hit the pavement once since.
The most appealing thing to me about the bypass is that it pretty much
removes the Flake Factor. Sure, I can try to flake out and overeat, but
then my surgically-altered stomach will go into major rebellion. And I hate
being sick. Ergo, the physical pain controls the mental lapses in
discipline.
Yeah, it's extreme... and it's scary... but I don't want to have the option
of being able to squeak back into old habits. Right now, I'm in a good
mindset, but if I have a choice, the first time Protein Powder Breakfast
becomes inconvenient, I will break.
I don't want that choice. And yeah, I understand that if "medical
reasons" are the only thing that keeps me going, then I should be
swayed by the "high-cholesterol-family-history-of-arthritis"
argument... but it's easier to blow off something that doesn't make itself
known in everyday life. I don't have sore knees all the time... and my high
cholseterol only seems to be panicking my doctor at this point... so it's
easy to ignore those in favor of, say, a pizza binge. Actual, immediate,
physical pain and illness is MUCH harder to ignore.
Of course, there's always a chance the Insurance will say no. In which
case, I plan to continue with Protein Powders and see what happens.
(Especially since my Main Doctor is waiting in the wings with Medifast if
the surgery doesn't happen).
I want the Flake Option removed. I want to know that, when my Id goes into
overdrive and begs for an exception to the diet, that my body really can't
comply.
Does that make any sense?"
— Jenn D.
August 14, 2003
I just wanted to high five some of you people out there who responded to
this...I feel so much better after reading these posts--I get a lot of
support from reading the Q and A board--its almost better than my regular
support group!! You guys are awesome!!
— Kara J.
August 14, 2003
I have to tell you, my vote is on the Village Idiot thing....seems
reasonable to me! : )
— Peggy B.
August 14, 2003
My stock reply: "Ignorance is excusable, STUPIDITY is not! Maybe you
(the stupid poster in the above situation) should read about wls before
posting solutions that have no validity in this area." I still would
want to smack them, though! LOL!!
— Sharon m. B.
August 14, 2003
Woah! The hostility, people! Come on, now, get off your high horses and
get a reality check. Has it been your experience, as an MO person, that
most people understood anything about being obese? Don't most people have
very wrong ideas about how people get obese, and how to lose weight?
Doesn't even the medical profession admit that this is a disease that's
poorly-understood? How much of the hows and whys of WLS did you understand
until you did some serious research? How much about weight loss in general
did you understand until you lived it? Now, clearly--to the educated--the
woman's comment about the Metamucil solution is ludicrous, but in the big
picture of understanding about obesity, it is not a surprising comment.
Educate, but don't bash. Ignorance is the problem here, not stupidity.
Stop being superior, and be a little understanding. Stop being offended
when no offense was likely intended. What does it cost to be
understanding, kind and informative? Come on.
— Vespa R.
August 14, 2003
*SIGH* Don't you wish we could change the world? I admit that I feel all
the anger and hostility expressed here. HOWEVER, after working with
bariatric patients and their friends and families for 2 years I have found
that only 2 things work. #1 Kindness. #2 Education. And, if you're going
to educate you better be able to back up what you're saying. Occasionally
I will have a friend or family member that is still opposed. I address
this by politely but firmly saying something like "I respect your
opinion even if I don't agree with it. However, your presence here is to
offer support to your friend/family and if you continue to be
confrontational you are only going to make the process more difficult. The
likelihood that you're going to change their mind about surgery is
infintescimle. So, let's go back to the lesson our Moms taught us when we
were little which is - if you can't say anything nice then don't say
anything at all." It sounds hokey but it usually makes people clam
up. It doesn't necessarily make them supporters of the procedure but at
least they're not topping the timbers with their negativity. As patients
we have to remember that everything we say basically represents the whole
obese/bariatric community so if we blow our tops and lose our tempers we
often make all obese people look more foolish and less credible than the
objectors. Best wishes to you and know that you are appreciated for
supporting WLS patients.
— ronascott
August 15, 2003
Yes, ignorance is bliss. And yes, we have all been uninformed at one point
or another. Personally, I opt for the easy way out for everything. I'm
going in to have all my organs removed and my skin taken off ...just in
case I might get cancer or something. Of course, I haven't quite figured
out how to do without blood for fear of leukemia. Oh..and a colostomy is
definitely appealing so that I never have any colon disease too. I'll just
be known as the 'easy' girl.
Sheesh...
— Diane S.
August 15, 2003
yeah, I used to say never to this surgery, i would say, who would do that
to themselves, they are crazy! i was the crazy one. if i had looked
honestly at this procedure in my 20's or 30's, i would have had a much
fuller, active life and now that i am 43, i hope i at least have enough
time to enjoy the results! when people say i am nuts, it's usually someone
overweight who like i was, is jealous that they aren't willing to take this
opportunity to get a life back! i know i felt jealous when my cousin did
it last year, and that was when i started thinking, why not me? she has
had a wonderful journey and i plan to too! darci
— darci T.
August 16, 2003
Some may say that WLS is they easy way out. Boy what a lie! You have to
really want WLS and work like a dog to get it. Fighting with insurance
companies, and surgeons is not easy deal. Also researching and informing
yourself is no easy task. Gathering confidence in your decision making
skills to opt for surgery is no easy task. Dealing with family members,
friends and coworkers that don't support you is no easy task. Dealing with
pain after surgery, the side affects such as vomiting, hairloss and trying
to incorporate excessive protien is not easy. And for the others who say
all this is easy! Who says that taking the easy way out is wrong?
— [Deactivated Member]
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