Question:
'On The Fence' About Surgery- Seeking Advice
I am scheduled to meet with a doctor for a consult in Sept., but I have been having severe mood swings i.e., whether of not I should do this procedure. I have a bmi of 40, but I also have 3 children, go to work, and school and I find that I have no energy for NOTHING else. And I have found that I have backaches and my legs hurt and everyother thing. I think I know I should get this procedure done, but I am kind of scared of going through all those changes. Input please. — Tanya F. (posted on July 23, 2003)
July 23, 2003
Hi, I just wanted to advise you to do alot of research before making your
final decision. This is a very big decision, and I admire you for not
wanting to jump into it blindly. I'm still pre-op, scheduled for surgery
August 19th. I have been on this site almost constantly since I found it
back in February, and have decided that this is the option for me. I would
meet with the doctor and tell him/her your concerns. This is just my
opinion. Perhaps they could help you lose weight with a non-surgical
method. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck! God Bless...
— Moysa B.
July 23, 2003
This is a huge decision that only you can make. I thought about this
surgery literally for years before I went ahead. When I did go ahead, I
had no doubts, and I have no regrets. However, if I had done it before I
was really ready to commit to the lifestyle, eating and attitude changes
that it requires, I don't think that I would be successful long term. You
have to be sure in order to make it work for you. The surgery is not a
cure for obesity, it simply provides a very powerful tool to help us be
successful at weight loss and maintenance, but only if we're willing and
able to work at it. Do all of the research you can beforehand. Learn as
much as you possibly can about all of the procedures. Become knowledgeable
about the life-long changes you'll have to make, and then decide if you're
ready to commit. Until you're sure, for you, I encourage you to wait.
— Vespa R.
July 23, 2003
I went for a consult in December; got insurance approval in early March.
But I was scared and on the fence. It took 4 months for me to get to the
root of my fear. It was the fear of losing my friend, food. I ADORE food
and sometimes it was all I had to look forward to all day and my only
stress reliever. Once I ADMITTED that was the base fear, I could make a
decision on what I wanted. TWo choices: My friend, food, on the one hand,
or a chance at a healthy life, on the other hand. I'm 11 days post op. I
know already that I made the right choice.
— Margaret G.
July 23, 2003
You sound exactly like me a year and a half ago. I had a BMI of 40, 4
children, work, and school. I was tired all the time, I always had back
and leg pain, I had just been diagnosed with diabetes and my blood pressure
was high. I wore a size 24. Within six months after surgery I lost over
100 pounds, I had more energy than I knew what to do with, the back and leg
pain was gone. Diabetes gone. High Blood pressure gone. And instead of
watching my kids grow up I was an active participant. Read my profile.
— Linda A.
July 23, 2003
I was undecided for along time myself, my doctor first brought the subject
up to me over 2 years ago, and I said are you out of your mind!!!!!!!! But
after just getting larger and larger and unable to lose weight when
honestly giving it my all, and then all the health problems that were
creeping up on me I decide that it was timer for a consult with the
surgeon. Best thing I ever did, one meeting with him and I knew it was the
right decision for me. I am now 4 weeks post op tomorrow and I had some
problems in the hospital as well as early post op but ya know what I would
do it over again in a heartbeat. I am down 40 lbs.and am beginning to feel
myself again only less of me now....I polished my toenails the other night
and could actualy reach them :-) LAP RNY 6/26 296-40
— jane O.
July 23, 2003
You sound kind of like me. When a co-worker, who weighed over 300lbs.,
decided to have WLS, I thought she was nuts. She also worked full time and
had three kids and a bad marriage. She did it and lost a lot of weight.
At the time, I was doing a low carb diet and lost about 35 lbs, only to
gain most of it back at warp speed when I developed thyroid problems. It
came down to this: I could just accept the fact that I would always be fat,
and probably get fatter and likely develop diabetes and heart disease. I
just didn't have it in me to go on another diet. That's when I started to
seriously consider WLS. Everyone finds their own way. I am sure some
people come to obesityhelp.com and decide they don't want surgery. The fact
that you are looking at this site, and learning all you can about the pros
and cons of WLS leads me to believe you will make the decision that is
right for you.
— koogy
July 23, 2003
You know, I'm still preop, but nothing scares me more than people who go
from learning about WLS to having the procedure done within the span of a
couple of months. I've met some people who were at the 2 week post-op
stage who were just learning some of the risks and complications that can
occur and were scared to death that they had made the wrong decision, but
it was too late. That's not to say they'll have any complications, just
that they are totally unprepared for what could possibly occur. And they
also had no idea what they were in for with the drastic change in eating
and how their bodies would react. My wait has not been of my own doing,
but I am SO glad I have this time. Yes, there are days when I'm ready to
rip off the hospital bracelet of the next person scheduled for surgery and
pretend I'm them just so I can get it done. But I have learned SO much by
spending this time researching and hopefully not only will the physical
transition be easier for me, but the mental transition as well. And I'll
know what I need to do to be successful. It's a very difficult decision to
make. For the longest time I was very disappointed that all the responses
I received when I had questions were very gung ho with nary a dissenting
opinion. Then as I researched further, I found some information that swung
totally the other way. I wasn't finding any unbiased middle ground and
knew I'd just have to look at all the pros and cons and do what was best
for me, which isn't what is best for everyone. This is my true feeling
about WLS: it will happen for you when the time is right and you'll know
it. I've been researching this for over 2 years and it didn't feel right
until a few months ago. Research, research, research and then listen to
your heart. Linda Almonte and Sharon Brittain's profiles on here are two
that I can highly recommend. They pull no punches but they also show you
what to do to be successful.
— antiques55
July 23, 2003
You can tell by the number of responses to this question that we all feel
strongly about it - me included. This is NOT something to be "on the
fence" about. It's major, life-changing, and radical! It took me to
getting to a point where it was the ONLY answer.
On the other hand, now I have to stop myself from running up to strangers
in the street to tell them I have a "solution" for them....It
sounds like your LIFE was where mine was, but your HEAD isn't....read the
beginning of my profile.... good luck and may God bless whatever you
decide...
— Debby M.
July 24, 2003
Just keep an open mind to everything. This is not an easy decision and a
lot of people do jump into it with out thinking. You have to be aware that
you will be going through some stressful times. For me I hardly did any
research. Denial was a great thing and it worked FOR ME. This may not be
you. Good luck in your journey.
— snicklefritz
July 24, 2003
I started with a BMI of 43 and have a little girl. I knew about the surgery
for several years before I did anything about it. What precipitated my
decision was the realization that my weight was out of control and that I
would continue to gain weight no matter WHAT I did. I knew that if I gained
any more weight I would be sick and then have a much greater chance of
dying on the table. I made the call to the dr thinking I would decide after
talking with him. But in truth, what really made up my mind was talking
with postops in the waiting room. Go to the appointment and see what's
what, but strike up conversations with the other folks and see how they are
doing. Go to some support groups if you can. For me, once I saw what was
possible, I was ready to go! If you get more information, chances are
you'll know if this is the right decision for you or not.
— ctyst
July 24, 2003
It IS a huge decision. I think one way to look at it is to imagine where
you will be in a year, or three years, if you don't have WLS. When I
looked at it that way, I knew that it was the right choice for me, because
I knew if I didn't do something, I'd keep on gaining more weight, become
less mobile, and less healthy (and with even less energy). It was just
clear, from my previous pattern of failed diets (losing 50 here, gaining
70; losing 80 there, regaining almost all of that before I went for WLS. I
guess my point is, compare the risks and benefits of surgery with where you
will be, realistically, without it -- because changes of maintaining the
"status quo," and not getting worse without some kind of
intervention, are not good. Take your time and research thoroughly.
— Suzy C.
July 24, 2003
i agree, good idea, take it slow. It took me years. I am 3 weeks post op
and very happy. It is not only a physical change though it is a huge
mental committment. Huge. Email me if you have any questions. i'd always
support someones decision but never make it for them or even suggest the
surgery, you have to want it. be well
— gary viscio
July 24, 2003
I agree with those who say to research all of your options. If you
honestly feel you aren't ready, do NOT have surgery. Don't let anyone try
to talk you into being ready either. If and when the time comes that
you're ready, I believe you'll know.
— TMF
July 28, 2003
I was unsure also but I stayed on this site and read everything I could
find about the surgery and one day it just clicked in that it was time to
get the surgery and begin a new healthier life....you will come to that
point in your own good time. Read and educate yourself until you reach your
decision that is right for you. I am happy with my results and would do it
again no problem....
— Mona J.
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