Question:
Has anyone travelled out of state for surgery without a support person?

I am considering having surgery done out of state and the one person that would be able to be my support person,my mom ,needs to stay and care for my 2 kids. Has anyone gone through surgery alone and stayed at a motel after? How did it work out for you? She would probably be able to come to "pick me up" when it was time to head for home, but for us both to be gone for longer than 2 days would not work. Any suggestions?? — kscott6260 (posted on April 5, 2003)

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April 4, 2003
Kelli, I too had my surgery out of state and I think it would be very difficult to do it alone. I had someone watch my children and my husband stayed in a hotel with me. I don't know how I would have made it without him to fix my Carnation Instant Breakfasts, help me get up and down from sitting position. Are you having lap or open? I had open so perhaps if you have lap it could be easier. It is also a very emotional time immediate post-op and would be very hard to be alone during this time as you are trying to deal with pain and the loss of your food. I spent one day alone at post-op day 5 and it was the worst day of my life. I cried all day long and wished I could go back in time and reverse what I had done. Don't worry. Those feelings only last a short while but I just want to let you know how important it is to have support around. I wish you the best of luck. Denise (open RNY 3/20/03)-25lbs
— denisel

April 4, 2003
Hi Kelli, I answered your e-mail about no support person and wanted to let you know to check out your mail, but I have to agree with the other poster that you will most likely need one. Send me the ticket and I will be there because its snowing here and cold and LA is warm and sunny this time of year. (HAHAHA) Got to work on my tan
— tonyskid

April 4, 2003
Curious why your looking at a out of town surgeon? Local is ofen better, easier followups, complication or emergency care having your surgeon who knows you close by is good too.
— bob-haller

April 4, 2003
I travelled to Mexico alone and had surgery. Yes, it would have been nice to have someone there with me, but I was fine. I stayed at a hotel after surgery. I was in a tourist area so I would walk out of the hotel and there were lots of shops, etc. which made it easy to be alone because there was something to do. I am a very independent person and I think that is part of the reason I was able to do it. I brought lots of books, CDs, magazines to keep me occupied. I brought my cell phone and called my husband everyday. I e-mailed friends and family - so I felt in touch. As far as the physical part I was able to do everything for myself. Thankfully, I didn't have any complications. If I had, it would have been hard being alone. Travelling out of state or the country is a necessity for many of us. Going alone is possible and worked for me. Best wishes to you. Lisa (Open RNY 1/27/03; 285/230/150)
— Lisa F.

April 5, 2003
Hi, I traveled from Idaho to Ohio to have my DS with Dr Hess. I was by myself and had NO problems...I stayed in touch with family(via phone), and even had visitors(new WLS friends)come to visit me in the hospital and at the hotel.My surgery was on Nov. 25th(Im down 70lbs)and I flew home on Dec. 5th. The airlines were very helpful, they wheelchaired me from termanal to terminal, had people there to help with luggage...I think the thing that really helped me was I was prepared, for both the physical and mental part of fyling off to do this alone. Good luck!
— Kathy H.

April 5, 2003
I travelled from California to Oregon. Reason my choice of surgeon, for the BEST! My reason to go alone... my significant other had to tend to my children and my immediate family was not supportive of MY choice so I chose not to tell them I was doing it. I recovered well without problems.
— Alley Z.

April 5, 2003
If everybody had perfect surgery with no complications, it would matter little if we were alone or not, local or far away or even out of the country. With even minor complications, however, things can become very difficult a and expensive to deal with by oneself far from home. As far as going to Mexico alone for surgery, unless you speak fluent Spanish AND have unlimited financial resources (and so many of the people here go to Mexico precisely because it is inexpensive IF everything goes right) you are asking for big trouble. Yes, I know, several people here have had WLS in Mexico and everything went fine. I am very glad that it worked out for you. But nobody seems to want to talk about surgical and other complications, and how to deal with them, when you are out of the country.
— Kasey

April 5, 2003
Kasey~ I went to Mexico for my surgery, and know for a fact if I was alone or not and had major complications my surgeon Dr.Aguirre would have took it upon himself to take care of any problem that came up,and also I would lay money on it would have flew back with me himself if he had to! I don't believe for one moment this would have been a problem, and I don't think he would have charged me any more for this, because this is the type of Doctor he is and if everyone could have a doctor who cared about their patients as much as Dr.Aguirre does in "MEXICO" none of us would have to worry about being alone or not!!!!!!!!
— latrishanickle

April 5, 2003
I believe people can do what they HAVE to do, be it alone or otherwise. Whether you're going to another state or outside the states altogether the risks you run for complications are the same. Being self pay is always risky but I don't think that means that the RNY or other surgeries should be only for the rich or well insured. I went to Mx for PS by myself. I stayed nearly a week there and then flew home. And my experience with my surgeon was just as Latisha had. My surgeon was a very caring person and his staff was wonderful. They let me stay at their clinic for nearly a week so I wouldn't be as lonely as in a motel room by myself. And one of the girls who took care of me stayed my last night with me because she knew I was getting really homesick and lonesome. When was the last time any of us in the US had a nurse stay the night with one of her patients because they were lonely?? I'm in healthcare here in the US, but I'm not so proud as to admit that the care I received in MX was far better than any I've ever given or received here in the states. And even if money wasn't a factor for me, I'd still choose to use my surgeon in MX because that's how truly impressed I am with him and his staff.
— Shelly S.

April 5, 2003
Thanks for the responses, Latrisha and Shelly, but you did not answer my questions. I'm glad you BELIEVE that Dr. Aguirre would not charge you if you needed more than routine treatment, but what if you needed treatment that he and his clinic are not equipped to provide? Would he pay for your treatment in another facility? I'm glad you BELIEVE that he would fly with you back to the States, but would he also pay for the Medevac flight (which starts at $10,000)? Could Dr. Aguirre really devote all the time and effort you BELIEVE he would to one patient with serious complications without neglecting his other patients? If he dropped everything to fly with you back to the states or to another facility in Mexico, he wouldn't be there for his other patients, would he? I'm glad that a nurse stayed with Shelly just because you were lonely. How lonely would you have been if you had to stay hospitalized in Mexico for two months? And how would you pay for it? Or would do you believe, like Latrisha, that your doctor just let you stay and treat you for free? I'm glad your doctors and staff were caring. But it takes more than caring when things go wrong. SOMEONE has to pay for equipment, staff, the room, medicine. Maybe your doctors are would let you stay and treat you and incur charges of thousands of dollars and not charge you. Maybe your doctors would let you take up space and time and resources they had scheduled for other patients (whom, I presume, they care just as much about) and postpone those patients' surgery until you got well enough to leave. I doubt it, though. They would go broke.
— Kasey

April 5, 2003
WOW!!!!!!!!! I really don't have an answer to your question, but I do have a comment. Latrisha and Shelley may not have answered your question to your satisfaction, but they DID try to give you some words of encouragment. I think it's a shame that you felt you had to blast them the way you did with your response.....they were only sharing part of their experience with you, and telling you what they believe.... a little heavy on the sarcasm there, weren't you? If it's got you that worried, maybe you should consider having WLS at home. Best of luck to you.
— Alisa Sheets

April 5, 2003
The problem is Kasey turned this into a question about MEXICO, which is clearly not the question, it was about going out of "STATE" but Lisa F posted she went to Mexico alone. So that's who Kasey was attacking!!!!! & YES KASEY I do believe Dr. Aguirre would have done whatever was required and yes took the money right out of his own pocket and would have post-poned up-coming surgery's if need be!!!! Dr. Aguirre will not have more than 2 patients a week unlike our Dr.'s who will sometimes have 15 or more, so all I'am saying is do your homework on our MEXICO Dr.'s before you put them down! I have seen your answer's on quite a few questions and they are always borderline RUDE! I've never said anything until now, and everytime you put dowm MEXICO which you don't know anything about ( I read your profile) I'll jump in and Defend us again!!!!!!!!!!!!
— latrishanickle

April 5, 2003
WOW is right. What a battle of the wills. Everyone has a story and everyone wants to share it and that's great; however, let's try not to prove a point using someone elses question. I think the posters who commented on Mexico were just trying to share encouragement and not necessarily putting in a plug for Mexico. I love my doc and I think he's the best. I would put a plug in for him anytime. Alisa, I think you have this confused a little because Kelli was the original poster and Kasey was the one whom you thought was making the sarcastic comments. I just wanted to add this because I didn't want Kelli to read these responses and think "what did I do". Let's remember, Kelli asked this question for support....she didn't want to hear a battle. Good luck to everyone!
— denisel

April 5, 2003
You know, I am surprised that this suggestion has not yet been acted upon, but with as many people as we have on this site, why is there not some kind of a network that can go on?? Sort of a wls visiting angels for those people who do have to travel out of state for their surgery...for whatever the reason may be. If you have to stay in hotel, perhaps having a pre or post op person stay with you to help you out. Or if you have a spare bedroom in your home, why not open it up to a post op wls patient for a few days? What does it cost you...an extra couple loads of laundry...and perhaps a couple extra trips to the bathroom.---what does it pay?? Perhaps a life long friendship...how about the knowledge that you helped someone cross over to the losing side of life...make arrangements in advance...have your soon to be post op mail you by parcel post the jello and broth and other stuff they will need...you are there as a friend, confidant, and for support. Call your surgeon's office and volunteer for such a duty. Have a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang

April 5, 2003
sorry so many poeple misunderstood. Please go back and read my posts carefully. I did not "blast" anyone, Alisa. I politely and calmly and factually listed my questions. Latrisha, please so me the exact words that I used to put dr. aguirre down. I have not met him, so would not claim to know him and his motives, just as you cannot know my motives. I simply pointed out some scenarios which have happened to people on this board and wondered how they would be dealt with. again, latrisha, please point out the exact words and sentences I used to "attack." I simply asked questions. I did not call names. and please, point out the exact words I used to put down mexcio, latrisha. i have no complaint with that country. i have visited there and i have researched the possibility of having WLS there, including consulting two former co-workers who lived in mexico city for several years. just because i want answers does not mean i am rude, nor does it mean i am "attacking" or "blasting." i'm just asking. i did not intend to rile anybody. i don't call names, i don't attack, and i'm not rude. i do ask questions, i do tell the truth, i do point out facts when others are wrong. again, sorry so many misunderstood. i had hoped this could be a civilized discussion of the pros and cons (and going out of area/state/country for any medical procedure has both).
— Kasey

April 6, 2003
Kelli~ i'am sorry your question had to turn out to be answered this way, I personally believe you'll be fine alone as long as you let your Dr. know that you are coming alone. Kasey~ I'am not going to sit here and debate Mexico or Dr.Aguirre with you any longer. RUDE is RUDE and that is YOU!
— latrishanickle

April 6, 2003
Personally, I think BOTH Latrisha and Kasey are acting like 6-year-old children and I am surprised that the Obesityhelp Moderators haven't stepped in and put a stop to this catfight...JR
— John Rushton

April 6, 2003
OK, I can see that there's some debate going on, but I haven't really read any of it and want to add my 2 cents worth. If you decide to go out of town, or out of state, and don't have any support people to go with you, make sure you have someone in a backup role who can step in to help if it becomes necessary. I had my surgery in town and had intended to be home by myself immediately post-op. I had a very long and hard road to recovery and could not have done it without the support of my brother and sister. I would give the same advice to anyone who is planning to self pay. Most people do just fine, but you absolutely do need to be prepared in case you are one of the minority who do not have a smooth, uneventful recovery. You can read my profile for details. Without insurance, I would have been bankrupt by now, at the very least. Without the support of my siblings, I might have given up. I know that I had nights last summer where I went to sleep not caring whether I woke up or not. I am fine now, but I have to admit it makes me a bit nervous when I see people who plan to do this without any support. I do understand that not everyone is as fortunate as I was to have insurance, but you do need to make sure you have ALL the bases covered.
— garw

April 6, 2003
I went out of state for my WLS. I did not have a support person go with me. I had "met" others on-line who were having surgery the same day. One had her family there. They became our support as well. The reasons I had surgery in Texas were many. Images handled all of the details especially my insurance, the timing was better(not as long to wait), the doctor was good and others also. The care I received was fantastic. I am so happy I went where I felt was best. Good luck with whatever you decide.
— Helenjean P.

April 6, 2003
Wow - what has happened since I last posted? Kelli, I apologize to you. I tried to answer your question and the only reason I mentioned Mexico was for background purposes not to start a debate on the pros and cons of going to Mexico for surgery. Kasey clearly has issues with people going to Mexico for surgery and is being extremely judgmental. Her response to my post was completely out of line and uncalled for. Nothing that I said was a plug for Mexico for surgery. I am personally offended by her post as I take it as an attack on my decision. She knows nothing about me, my circumstances or my doctor. My response to the original question was basically this - I did it myself, you may be able to do it too. Maybe Kasey is just upset that she has had to deal with the red tape and bureaucracy of insurance companies and a year or more wait for surgery. I wonder what she will do if she is denied for surgery?? Kasey has made negative comments in the past on this subject and I hope her comments don't tarnish the hopes of other self-payors out there seeking options.
— Lisa F.

April 6, 2003
lisa wrote: Maybe Kasey is just upset that she has had to deal with the red tape and bureaucracy of insurance companies and a year or more wait for surgery. I wonder what she will do if she is denied for surgery?? Kasey has made negative comments in the past on this subject and I hope her comments don't tarnish the hopes of other self-payors out there seeking options lisa, i would be grateful if you would not speculate about my motives. you don't know me. for the record, as I said, i have researched self-pay and mexico options. that is why is posted the questions that i did -- no one seems to have an answer for who pays when something goes wrong. if i am denied surgery, i will lobby my employer to have the exclusion removed. john wrote: Kasey are acting like 6-year-old children john, i have kept my posts civilized and constructive. all i did was ask questions. hardly like a 6-year-old. latrisha wrote: RUDE is RUDE and that is YOU! latrishia, name-calling does nothing to advance the discussion. once again, i apologize for offending anyone. I simply asked questions. i don't understand why anyone finds my quest for information offensive, but clearly many people do.
— Kasey

April 6, 2003
Kelli, I'm sorry to have helped caused such a debate on your question. Kasey has some valid points, even if she is a bit "loud" about it. I did have support at HOME for my post op period, which I hope you will with your mom staying with your kids. I definitely would have needed help at home. It was the trip and surgery out of area that I did without a support person. The risks of self pay are very evident. We don't dwell on them because there isn't anything we can do other than to either risk it or give up. And as for having complications out of the area. Its true you can have them. Whether you're in your home town, neighboring state, accross the US, or out of the US. Although rare, they do happen. In fact, when researching going to MX I actually talked with one of our members here who DID have complications having her RNY done in Mexico. I asked a million questions of her before making my decision. And yes, her doc actually payed her excess bills himself until she had time to repay him after she returned to the states. And she was alone down there post op and for her flight home. I'm not saying everyone should go to MX, but moreso I'm saying to choose your doctor carefully and try not to be frightened of having to be alone for a surgery. Some of us have done it. Yes, I was homesick by the end of a week but I would do it again. In fact, I did. I had a second surgery (much smaller) by myself there again in November. If I can offer you any support or info you can email me directly. My e-address is on my profile.
— Shelly S.

April 6, 2003
Kelli, you have my sincere apology......I WAS confused as to who I was talking to.... I'm sorry. I guess the names were close enough that I didn't realize it. Thank you to the poster who pointed that out. And Kasey, maybe you don't intend to be rude, or attack, or blast people, but that's the tone that comes through on your posts. I hope there won't be any lasting hard feelings for all involved. We are ALL here for the same reason and need to support each other. God Bless.
— Alisa Sheets

April 6, 2003
Shelly - a very articulate and thoughtful response. This has unfortunately turned into a question about Mexico. I would like to ignore it and move on, but I believe that there are issued that should be addressed. Kasey - you're right I should not speculate on your motivations. I will ask you directly then. Why are you so negative when people consider going to Mexico for surgery? I think your words regarding going to Mexico were "you are asking for big trouble." If that is not negative then I don't know what is. Hopefully we have all done our research to know what the risks of surgery are, but each person has to do their own risk/reward analysis and if the prospective rewards outweigh the risks taking into consideration the low probability of complications, we accept the risks. That is life. I applaud your enthusiasm in suggesting you will lobby your employer in the event you are denied to have surgery covered. That sounds like quite an endeavor. What will you then do it that proves fruitless?
— Lisa F.

April 7, 2003
Just last week I heard about a gal in northern california who neglected to tell the surgeon she was on coumadin... for why i dont know..... evidently she didn't tellher family either.... she went to the motel and bled to death. There must have been something wrong, but.... and although i have heard it second hand so maybe I dont have all the facts, however, she was by herself in the motel and she did bleed to death.
— kathy H.

April 9, 2003
Well well well , what did I start?? heeheehee I just wanted to say thanks to all that took time out to offer words of encouragement, support and even those of caution. I guess I should have clarified that I was ONLY going from Nevada to Southern California, a very quick flight between the two.My real concern is the stay at the hotel post-op. What I really need is input on what others have experienced going through that alone. Any special thing I should do to prepare? pack? maybe even send before hand? It looks as if I will definitely be going through with this and personally I feel that the risk that I am facing everyday with these multiple co-mordities , far outweigh the risk of me being lonely or helpless or even hemmoraghing to death alone in the motel room (Thanks Kathy for pointing that one out LOL) So as I said before , Thanks everyone and I am sorry to have started such a mess. Hey, we are here to support each other and offer advice, lets not argue over differences of opinions, let's learn from them.
— kscott6260

April 9, 2003
Hey Tony, check your mailbox for that ticket ! LOL
— kscott6260

April 10, 2003
KELLI, I HAD OPEN RNY 03/03/03 DOWN 30LBS. I TOO WAS ALONE THE FIRST WEEK AFTER I CAME HOME. MY SUGGESTION WOULD BE LET THE HOTEL STAFF KNOW YOU,LL BE RECOVERING FROM SURGERY AND BE THERE ALONE. DO TAKE A GOOD LONGDISTANT PHONE CARD SO WHEN YOU GET DEPRESSED YOU CAN CALL MOM QUICKLY. I DIDNT GO OUT OF TOWN JUST MY HUSBAND HAD TO BE OUT OF TOWN AND I DIDNT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO KNOW YET. I REALLY ENJOYED THE PEACE AND SOLITUDE. MAKE SURE YOU TAKE SOME PROTEIN DRINKS WITH YOU AND DEPENDING ON LONG THE DR KEEPS YOU IN THE HOSPITAL YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE TO STAY IN HOTEL BUT A COUPLE OF NIGHTS. DR KEPT ME IN HOSP. 4 DAYS AFTER SURGERY.
— PAULA C.

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