Question:
I have been so down on myself this week, I am 6 weeks before surgery...

and I have been so down on myself this week. Even though I have been over weight for the last 10 years, I feel like I have always tried to have a good outlook on life. I always try to be happy and OK with myself. I am not saying that I have ever been thrilled with my weight, I of course have done every diet and really tried to lose over the years, to only regain. Now that I have a date and I know that I WILL LOSE and keep it off, I feel terrible about myself. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, and every article of clothing that I own seems to bother me in some way. I get dresses and think that I look bad, or that the clothes are too tight and so on. I know that some of this is due to the fact that I am so focused on my weight and my self image right now, but am I letting this go over board? Has anyone else experienced these kinds of feeling?    — poohdotsmom2 (posted on October 27, 2002)

October 27, 2002
dear misty don't be hard on yourself you know what I did to change the way I thought about my self I join wls support group at my hospital and they changed me big time now am excited and am happy and I even went shopping for new clothes smaller than the ones I can wear I think that should help you. Sometimes we need a buddie who is going thru the same things as we so we can see things a little differently. My support group is great they were there for me when I cryed and when I found out my surgery date is on the 04-nov-2002 peace be with you live long and prosper. (sorry silly) I just want you to be happy.
   — sheri B.

October 27, 2002
I was there! I am 9 days pre-op and I understand. Boy, I hated the mirror, I hated myself for letting this get "so out of hand" - I hate (still do) everything in my closet- too tight, too (fillin the blank)- But I kept my eye on that date- I can make it one day at a tme was my daily wish. But I am here to tell you that you are normal - just like the rest of us and what you are doing for yourself takes great courage. You are not your body size! You are you and your body size is going to get better and your health will be better. And you will rejoice!
   — Jan S.

October 27, 2002
You can't do anything about yesterday--it's gone. You can't do anything about tomorrow--it's not here yet. You can take care of yourself today--that's why it is a present.<p>I know it's old and it's overused. It is also true. Stop beating yourself up and get to work to be ready for surgery. Start your exercise program if you haven't already. Start taking your vitamins and cutting out sodas. Start thinking about the clothes in your closet that you can throw out now--the t-shirts with greasy stains that won't quite come out and the raggedy nighties. Might as well get rid of those now, huh?<p>The more you do that is positively directed at your new understanding of your life the better off you will be. Start the good habits today. If you lose a few pounds before surgery, great. It's not about losing weight though. It is about being the healthiest you can be and taking an active part in it.<p>One thing people often forget about self esteem is that we have to DO something that is valuable or honorable to earn those good feelings. So start now. It will make your post-op transition ever so much easier. If you want to see yourself differently, do something differently.<p>Phoebe Carroll -135# from a 24 to a 6
   — phoebe

October 27, 2002
All of us have experienced failure in the past. Is that what you are thinking now? That you have failed and now you are going to have to have surgery to correct it? DON'T think like that. Just think of the success that you will have that is just around the corner. I beleive that you have succeeded in making the right choice, and you should be very proud of yourself for being brave and stong!!
   — Jan S.

October 27, 2002
thanks to each of you! I am feeling a little better today. I was just having it kind of bad for a couple of days there, but now I am BACK on the right track!! Everything that you all said I think played a part in my feeling better, so thanks. I really appreciate all of the comments! Healthier and Happier days to come! Misty
   — poohdotsmom2