Question:
has any one out there had WLS and had toddlers waiting at home???
I have two small sons and i am conserned about post op recovery with no one but me to care for them.I have no family close by to help and my husband is in the navy and deployed a lot.So if any one has words of wisdom to share i would really appreciate it. — alexjakemom (posted on August 21, 2002)
August 21, 2002
I have two small children as well, one that was 2 and another one that is
4. Although, I had help after surgery I still was involved in everything.
I explained to them that "mommie" couldn't pick them up or hold
them because the doctors cut my tummy. It was harder for my 2 year old
girl to understand why I couldn't pick her up but eventually she
understood. I didn't have that much pain after surgery (Lap RNY) so pain
wasn't much of a problem for me. I just had to remember NO LIFTING OR
PICKING THINGS UP. I did rest quiet a bit the first day home so maybe if
you could ask or hire a friend/neighbor to watch the children for you while
you rest. Another than that I think you will be fine. Good Luck!!!
— Deanna H.
August 21, 2002
I had 3 yr old waiting for me when I got home. It was difficult to care
for her, but not impossible. I did have help from a neighbor who shuttled
her to daycare for me. The evening were the most difficult when it was
just the two of us. Luckily my little one is self sufficient and didn't
mind that mom could only make her soup, Spaghettio's or hot dogs for a week
straight! It was only that first week that was difficult, after that, it
was a breeze! Is there a neighbor or someone like that to help you, even a
little?
— Rosario T.
August 21, 2002
You did not say if you were having open or lap. I had lap rny on 6/11/02 I
have 2 children age 2 and 6. I did not have any problems after the first
day or two. They are old enough to walk, it is just hard for them to
understand why you can't pick them up. I did sit down and have them come
sit with me for some one on one snuggling. You should be ok if you can get
a friend or relative to help you for a day or two once home.
— Pam W.
August 21, 2002
I have a 1 year old and an (almost) 3 year old at home, and I had open rny
July 8th. I had help, but like the previous poster I was also involved in
my children's daily activities. I usually sit on the floor to change
diapers or put the kids' clothes on, but those first few weeks I would have
the kids climb onto the couch which made it much easier for me. Also, I
have a plastic step stool that has steps on both sides. I sat this over the
edge of the bathtub and the kids climbed in. Of course I was there to
supervise, but it allowed me to give them a bath without lifting them. I
don't know what your sleeping arrangements are, but my son was already in a
toddler bed. About a week before my wls, we also moved the 1 year old to a
toddler bed. This eliminated the problem of lifting her to put her in the
baby bed (she was ready anyway). Another thing I was concerned about was
getting my daughter into her carseat. My husband suggested I let her try to
climb into the car on her own. I thought he was crazy, but I agreed to let
her try. My jaw just about hit the drive way when she climbed her way into
the car, sat down in her seat, and grinned. I was able to just reach in and
fasten the safety harness. The only difficulty I had was meal time. My
oldest sits at the table, but the one year old is still in the high chair.
My solution was to let her eat on the couch. I kept am old blanket draped
over the couch to catch the drips and crumbs, and I sat with her to make
sure she didn't dump her plate in the floor. Don't worry. You will make it
through. It can be done.
— Jenny S.
August 21, 2002
I had open RNY 2/11/02 and had a 20 month old at home. He was a good
climber, but I had a little picnic table he could eat at if he wanted to,
and also used that same table to help get him into his crib. For diaper
changes I had him climb onto the couch. I was suprised how little trouble I
had..I thought it would be more challenging. I wish you the best!
— Jennifer G.
August 21, 2002
I had open RNY surgery on July 23rd, and I had to come home to four
children ages: 7 years, 5 years, 3 years, and 18 months old. Honestly,
there is absolutely NO WAY I could have managed without some help! My Mom
came over during the days to help me for about two weeks, and my husband
was there at night. I needed every ounce of help I could get and wasn't
afraid to ask for it. Not only was I sore and tired, but I was so weak and
dizzy and nauseated that I could barely function for the first week. It has
been four weeks now...and I am barely keeping up without my Mom. My house
is still a wreck, and I am lucky just to make sure my kids are taken care
of. ASK FOR HELP and try to get as much as you can when you have small kids
at home. THey don't understand Mommy just had major surgery and they still
are just as busy and demanding as ever. Good Luck to you! You will get
through it. **God Bless**
— Shawnie S.
August 21, 2002
I had my Open RNY on June 11th and I have a 3 1/2 year old and an 18 month
old. I did need help the first few days, but these suggestions are all
good. I let them eat at a little table and chairs so I didn't have to put
the baby in his high chair. I dressed them and changed the baby after they
climbed onto my bed. I fed them chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly,
Easy Mac, hot dogs, etc, for about 2-3 weeks and made some more nutritious
foods in advance to nuke up for dinners. The hardest was getting the baby
in his crib, but you can lower the side as far as it will go and then let
him climb up on a chair and help him over the rail, BUT make sure you move
the chair and put the rail back up. PLEASE, be careful what you tell the
kids about why you can't pick them up though. I told my 3 year old that
the doctor fixed mommy and she is still afraid to go to her doctor as she
thinks he is going to cut her, too. You really should try to get some
help. Some home daycare providers might be willing to watch your kids for
just two weeks if they have openings anyways. Call around. Good luck!
— cjabates
August 21, 2002
I just wanted to add ... depending on the age of your children <if they
are between 1 and 3 years old> be sure to hold a pillow against your
stomach when you are sitting anywhere they can climb onto you. At their
age, they wont understand why they cant crawl into your lap, so the pillow
will absorb all attempts, until you can help them understand.
— Dawn M.
August 21, 2002
I had lap RNY on April 26; my kids were 3 and 9 months at the time...
pillows for your tummy are a must in the first few days/ weeks when they
want to snuggle up to you. I know how hard it is when you WANT to lift
them... but please don't lift 'em; you don't want to risk a hernia or
opening up your incision. Step-stools and using the couch as changing
table/ dining room worked for us, but mostly I needed help with lifting the
first week. Hope all goes well for you!
— Sarah B.
August 21, 2002
I had mine in May and had kids who were 6, 4, and 2. My first suggestion
is to rent a hospital bed for a few weeks. If your doctor writes a
prescription for it, your insurance will pay for it. That way, you can be
in the family room / living room, wherever they are usually and hang out
with them comfortably. Also, I found out that this "magic
carpet" provides great entertainment for children... they stared at me
each morning without saying anything. They were just waiting for me to get
up for something. Fortunately, I had a recliner for back up and they would
spend hours on that darned thing. Secondly, for my two youngest, I used
daycare for two weeks. My oldest was in kindergarten, and he was very
understanding of my limitations when he wasn't in school. I spent two
months showing them how much I appreciated their cooperation by doing
special things for them and telling them that is why. Consider the
possibility of daycare for a few weeks.
— Karen F.
August 22, 2002
My daughter was 2 1/2 at the time of my lap rny 04/04/02...My boyfriend
works 2nd and 3rd shifts so I knew that there was no way that I would be
able to adequately care for her in the beginning. She stayed with my mom
for 2 weeks. That was really a blessing because just getting up to go to
the bathroom was a chore the 1st week. By mid 2nd week I was ready to start
caring for her and by the end of the week I was capable. Still a little
sore but capable. The meds that they had me on for pain knocked me out cold
so that is not a good scene for toddlers at all. If you have 2, and I dont
know if you are having open or lap, but you will need help...lots of help!
— Maria A. M.
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