Question:
has any one out there had WLS and had toddlers waiting at home???

I have two small sons and i am conserned about post op recovery with no one but me to care for them.I have no family close by to help and my husband is in the navy and deployed a lot.So if any one has words of wisdom to share i would really appreciate it.    — alexjakemom (posted on August 21, 2002)


August 21, 2002
I have two small children as well, one that was 2 and another one that is 4. Although, I had help after surgery I still was involved in everything. I explained to them that "mommie" couldn't pick them up or hold them because the doctors cut my tummy. It was harder for my 2 year old girl to understand why I couldn't pick her up but eventually she understood. I didn't have that much pain after surgery (Lap RNY) so pain wasn't much of a problem for me. I just had to remember NO LIFTING OR PICKING THINGS UP. I did rest quiet a bit the first day home so maybe if you could ask or hire a friend/neighbor to watch the children for you while you rest. Another than that I think you will be fine. Good Luck!!!
   — Deanna H.

August 21, 2002
I had 3 yr old waiting for me when I got home. It was difficult to care for her, but not impossible. I did have help from a neighbor who shuttled her to daycare for me. The evening were the most difficult when it was just the two of us. Luckily my little one is self sufficient and didn't mind that mom could only make her soup, Spaghettio's or hot dogs for a week straight! It was only that first week that was difficult, after that, it was a breeze! Is there a neighbor or someone like that to help you, even a little?
   — Rosario T.

August 21, 2002
You did not say if you were having open or lap. I had lap rny on 6/11/02 I have 2 children age 2 and 6. I did not have any problems after the first day or two. They are old enough to walk, it is just hard for them to understand why you can't pick them up. I did sit down and have them come sit with me for some one on one snuggling. You should be ok if you can get a friend or relative to help you for a day or two once home.
   — Pam W.

August 21, 2002
I have a 1 year old and an (almost) 3 year old at home, and I had open rny July 8th. I had help, but like the previous poster I was also involved in my children's daily activities. I usually sit on the floor to change diapers or put the kids' clothes on, but those first few weeks I would have the kids climb onto the couch which made it much easier for me. Also, I have a plastic step stool that has steps on both sides. I sat this over the edge of the bathtub and the kids climbed in. Of course I was there to supervise, but it allowed me to give them a bath without lifting them. I don't know what your sleeping arrangements are, but my son was already in a toddler bed. About a week before my wls, we also moved the 1 year old to a toddler bed. This eliminated the problem of lifting her to put her in the baby bed (she was ready anyway). Another thing I was concerned about was getting my daughter into her carseat. My husband suggested I let her try to climb into the car on her own. I thought he was crazy, but I agreed to let her try. My jaw just about hit the drive way when she climbed her way into the car, sat down in her seat, and grinned. I was able to just reach in and fasten the safety harness. The only difficulty I had was meal time. My oldest sits at the table, but the one year old is still in the high chair. My solution was to let her eat on the couch. I kept am old blanket draped over the couch to catch the drips and crumbs, and I sat with her to make sure she didn't dump her plate in the floor. Don't worry. You will make it through. It can be done.
   — Jenny S.

August 21, 2002
I had open RNY 2/11/02 and had a 20 month old at home. He was a good climber, but I had a little picnic table he could eat at if he wanted to, and also used that same table to help get him into his crib. For diaper changes I had him climb onto the couch. I was suprised how little trouble I had..I thought it would be more challenging. I wish you the best!
   — Jennifer G.

August 21, 2002
I had open RNY surgery on July 23rd, and I had to come home to four children ages: 7 years, 5 years, 3 years, and 18 months old. Honestly, there is absolutely NO WAY I could have managed without some help! My Mom came over during the days to help me for about two weeks, and my husband was there at night. I needed every ounce of help I could get and wasn't afraid to ask for it. Not only was I sore and tired, but I was so weak and dizzy and nauseated that I could barely function for the first week. It has been four weeks now...and I am barely keeping up without my Mom. My house is still a wreck, and I am lucky just to make sure my kids are taken care of. ASK FOR HELP and try to get as much as you can when you have small kids at home. THey don't understand Mommy just had major surgery and they still are just as busy and demanding as ever. Good Luck to you! You will get through it. **God Bless**
   — Shawnie S.

August 21, 2002
I had my Open RNY on June 11th and I have a 3 1/2 year old and an 18 month old. I did need help the first few days, but these suggestions are all good. I let them eat at a little table and chairs so I didn't have to put the baby in his high chair. I dressed them and changed the baby after they climbed onto my bed. I fed them chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, Easy Mac, hot dogs, etc, for about 2-3 weeks and made some more nutritious foods in advance to nuke up for dinners. The hardest was getting the baby in his crib, but you can lower the side as far as it will go and then let him climb up on a chair and help him over the rail, BUT make sure you move the chair and put the rail back up. PLEASE, be careful what you tell the kids about why you can't pick them up though. I told my 3 year old that the doctor fixed mommy and she is still afraid to go to her doctor as she thinks he is going to cut her, too. You really should try to get some help. Some home daycare providers might be willing to watch your kids for just two weeks if they have openings anyways. Call around. Good luck!
   — cjabates

August 21, 2002
I just wanted to add ... depending on the age of your children <if they are between 1 and 3 years old> be sure to hold a pillow against your stomach when you are sitting anywhere they can climb onto you. At their age, they wont understand why they cant crawl into your lap, so the pillow will absorb all attempts, until you can help them understand.
   — Dawn M.

August 21, 2002
I had lap RNY on April 26; my kids were 3 and 9 months at the time... pillows for your tummy are a must in the first few days/ weeks when they want to snuggle up to you. I know how hard it is when you WANT to lift them... but please don't lift 'em; you don't want to risk a hernia or opening up your incision. Step-stools and using the couch as changing table/ dining room worked for us, but mostly I needed help with lifting the first week. Hope all goes well for you!
   — Sarah B.

August 21, 2002
I had mine in May and had kids who were 6, 4, and 2. My first suggestion is to rent a hospital bed for a few weeks. If your doctor writes a prescription for it, your insurance will pay for it. That way, you can be in the family room / living room, wherever they are usually and hang out with them comfortably. Also, I found out that this "magic carpet" provides great entertainment for children... they stared at me each morning without saying anything. They were just waiting for me to get up for something. Fortunately, I had a recliner for back up and they would spend hours on that darned thing. Secondly, for my two youngest, I used daycare for two weeks. My oldest was in kindergarten, and he was very understanding of my limitations when he wasn't in school. I spent two months showing them how much I appreciated their cooperation by doing special things for them and telling them that is why. Consider the possibility of daycare for a few weeks.
   — Karen F.

August 22, 2002
My daughter was 2 1/2 at the time of my lap rny 04/04/02...My boyfriend works 2nd and 3rd shifts so I knew that there was no way that I would be able to adequately care for her in the beginning. She stayed with my mom for 2 weeks. That was really a blessing because just getting up to go to the bathroom was a chore the 1st week. By mid 2nd week I was ready to start caring for her and by the end of the week I was capable. Still a little sore but capable. The meds that they had me on for pain knocked me out cold so that is not a good scene for toddlers at all. If you have 2, and I dont know if you are having open or lap, but you will need help...lots of help!
   — Maria A. M.




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