Question:
Anyone feel like others have

Yesterday was my one year anniversary, and it was a big deal to me. No one at home said anything to me. Maybe I'm whining, but I've worked so hard to achieve what I have, I've lost 114 pounds,down to a size 5/6, at 133 pounds. Not to goal, but almost. Sometimes I feel like my family has just sort of started taking for granted how I look and what I've achieved. I work out 4-5 times a week, and am very active. Anyone else sometimes feel like this? Please don't flame me, I just need to know if this is normal or what... Thank you!    — Donna S. C. (posted on March 7, 2002)


March 6, 2002
Wow! First of all, many congrats on your acheivment...size 5-6 is what many of us pre-ops dream of, and you are to be commended for getting yourself there, and doing what it takes to keep it up. Second of all, can you communicate your feelings to your family? Plan a special anniversary dinner (or hike or whatever suits you now) yourself to celebrate with them, and let them know how important this is to you. This may sound weird, but in a way it's kind of flattering that it's no big deal to them...your (relatively) new way of life must be so ingraned by now, that they don't give much thought to where you were one year ago - it just seems natural. I am sure that you are a role model to your family , just as you are to us, so again, big hug...drumroll...and CONTRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   — rebeccamayhew

March 6, 2002
PS Just checked your profile...post some before and after pix if you get a chance : )
   — rebeccamayhew

March 6, 2002
Hi Donna. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I am having the same problem. I am at goal and don't expect to lose any more than a pound here or there. I don't think we are prepared to STOP losing. I know I was hooked on the excitement of the scale going down after so many years of it going in the opposite direction. No big changes = no more comments from family and friends and it seems really demotivating. I don't know if it was hormonal or what but I went thru a period of depression similar to the postop depression I went thru at 3-6 weeks. Yes I am at goal and no I don't REALLY want to lose more weight but I don't feel ready to give up the postop mentality just yet. It is only natural for family and friends to take things for granted when the big changes are over. But maybe we just need an adjustment period to get to the next phase--maintenance and "normal" living--instead of being the eternal postops. I don't know and I feel like I am rambling a bit but I have been having some of these issues myself and have been thinking about why I feel the way I do. I think it's normal if that is any consolation. Time will pass and we will move on, too. Just not quite yet. :)
   — ctyst

March 6, 2002
What a coincidence! I just had my one-year anniversary on Tuesday, and I felt the exact same way. Nobody except me seemed to remember the date, even though March 5 is much more important to me than my birthday or any other holiday. March 5 was the day I began my new life as a normal eater!!! I have lost 166 lbs., but no one except me seems to care. I have gone from a size 36 to a size 18 (and still losing!), but it hasn't made as much of a difference in my life as I had once hoped. Actually, let me take that back. It's made a major difference in my life, but not in the way people treat me. I'm still the same person, and my weight loss doesn't seem to have massively altered my life.
   — Terissa R.

March 6, 2002
As i chose to tell only 2 people I dont think my 1 yr anniversary would be remembered or deemed significant. Which is fine by me. I dont think anyone who hasnt had the surgery knows what we've really gone thru physically and more importantly mentally. They just dont get it. So I wouldn't be upset if I told a lot of people and noone acknowledged my 1 yr anniv. What truly matters is that you've done a great job and you should be happy with that. Congratulations! Celebrate it in your own way do something for yourself. If I were a size 5/6 Id buy clothes!!!
   — [Anonymous]

March 6, 2002
I too know exactly how you feel. I had my anniversary last month and the only mention I received was from some very nice people here on this site. I even mentioned to my DH and son that it was my birthday and they were like, "yeah so what?" I celebrated myself by going shopping. I like you am now a size 6 after losing 162 lbs. I keep reminding myself that I did this for health reasons and not to get noticed, but it would have been nice for my family to have made mention of it even after I reminded them.
   — Janie C.

March 6, 2002
GOSH! You sound like me. I feel the same way, it seems like to others it's no big deal, when every moment I think it's a big deal. That is why I still need my wls buddies support, as only WE know all the emotion attatched to this surgery.I think that perhaps "normal weight" people think this way. Example: my daughter had bucked teeth when she was young, she had them fixed and has beautiful teeth now, and it is a hugh deal for her to look at her teeth and admire them and appreciate good teeth, but for us, no big deal, the newness is over. I do know that if I bring out a pre-op pic of myself, people are shocked and say "I didn't realize you were that big" So they tend to forget. BTW YOU did great!!! and stick with us...we understand! ((Hug))
   — ZZ S.

March 6, 2002
Donna, I am so jealous of you! I am 2 months post op and Have lost 36lbs. I can't wait for my 1 year anniversary. I hope I end up a size 5/6. Don't let anyone get you down because they people forgot about you anniversary. You go out and celebrate with someone that has stood by you the whole time and have fun. Nobody knows better then us how proud we should be for doing such a great job. You hang in there we are all proud of you. Put some before and after pictures on your profile and show us the NEW YOU!!! Congrats on your wonderful loss!!!!
   — Bonnie S.

March 7, 2002
THANK YOU ALL!!! I knew you would understand. I am so grateful to all the wonderful people on this site. The posts and e-mails I have recieved are wonderful. :) BTW, my DH thinks I'm too skinny now, and that I'm addicted to the gym. But I figure I did this for myself, and will get to a goal that makes ME happy. I am addicted to the gym, but I figure that's a lot better than being addicted to food. I am so happy with my decision to have my surgery, and grateful beyond words that I have all of you here for support. My love to ALL of you, Donna in AL
   — Donna S. C.

March 7, 2002
P.S. I promise to get some before and after pictures sent in bythe end of March! LOL Donna in AL
   — Donna S. C.




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