Question:
Have any of you been told by husband, family,etc. that you need to stop?
I started out at 5'3'', 247 pounds on March 6th of this year. I now weigh 137 pounds. I would like to get down to 115-120, which is what my surgeon reccomends. But my DH, and some of my family say that I'm just right now, and that if I lose anymore I will be too skinny. But after being MO, I want to be the healthiest I can,and yes, the skinniest (some vanity reasons there) Please don't flame me, I just want to know what you think. Thanks Donna in AL — Donna S. C. (posted on December 27, 2001)
December 27, 2001
YES! YES! My entire Christmas Day - while it was wonderful - was spent
fending off those comments by my family and friends. My husband calls me
"pencil neck" (in an endearing way of course). I'm 5'6",
started at 270 and am now at 138 and a size 6/8. I don't feel too
"skinny", I think I look good! I honestly don't want to
intentionally lose alot more weight, but a few more pounds wouldn't hurt at
all. I'd have to weigh 119 for my BMI to read "underweight" and
I honestly don't see that happening.
It does get frustrating to hear the comments - but I guess I'd rather be
called "skinny" than many of the other choice words that so many
of us are subjected to when we're morbidly obese. I was too fat, now I'm
too thin! Go figure!
— T.L. S.
December 27, 2001
I once had a friend who told me that when friends and family tell you
you're "just right", you need to lose another 10 pounds!
— Danette H.
December 27, 2001
I am pre op and also 5'3. I weigh about 225 right now and my surgery is
next week. We have all discussed the "number" issue about my
weight and feel that 130lbs would be a healthy weight for me, but I may
feel better at 120-125..I am just going to see how I feel as I lose and go
from there. It's your body and you know when you feel the best. No you
don't want to look anorexic but you just want to feel comfortable with your
body.Thats all you have to tell them..Good Luck
— garyzgurl
December 27, 2001
At 5'3" tall, and a weight of 115, your BMI would be 20.4...just
between the "thin" and "average" section of the chart.
Speaking from a non-medical background, that seems OK to me. I'm sure your
family does think you'd be too thin if you lost more weight, especially
since you've been obese and have lost a lot of weight. My mom lost 50
pounds (by dieting, not surgery) and the first time I saw her since she
lost the weight, I thought she looked nearly anorexic, but it just takes
some getting used to. I don't know how long you've been overweight, but in
my mom's case, she's been sort of pudgy for as long as I've known her, and
it just takes some getting used to. :)
— [Anonymous]
December 27, 2001
I am 5'2" and 138 pounds. My husband begged me to stop at 145 pounds.
I did start adding carbs back because I was in a size 10 and my goal had
been a 12. I am now in an 8 and happy at that. I don't care if I lose any
more, but if I do I won't complain! I just bought a coat and the clincher
was that my husband said I looked "painfully thin" in it. I was
in the checkout line at a gallop. CHA-CHING! I don't think we are really
too skinny. If we'd always looked like this, people would probably be
thinking we could stand to drop another 5 pounds. But everyone is so used
to seeing us fat that it is a shock to the eyes. Personally I am afraid
that if I lose more my skin won't fit anymore. In the last 5 pounds I have
started to feel like I am wearing a "girl suit" that is a size or
two too big. I would rather stay at this weight and minimize the droop if I
can!
— ctyst
December 27, 2001
Hey Donna - boy we have similar numbers. I am also 5'3", started at
250, and am now at 138. I don't have any particular weight goal, although
my surgeon set 130 as my goal, but know that I would like to be a size 8.
I am somewhere around a 10 right now, maybe a tad smaller. I would
definitely not worry about what other people think about your weight - as
long as you are maintaining your health, please yourself. I would
encourage you not to obsess too much about the number. It fluctuates
easily, and may be "compromised" by a denser bone structure due
to the obesity. For what it's worth, I still feel a bit fat when I look at
myself in the mirror! -Kate-
— kateseidel
December 27, 2001
137 pounds for a 5'3" woman is not too skinny. Folks are just used to
seeing you fat. Show them a weight/height chart, or keep your weight too
yourself. If they ask, just say you don't know if you've lost weight. Keep
following your surgeon's recommendations. Good luck!
— [Anonymous]
December 27, 2001
Lots of folks dont realize why we dont just drop forever and blow away in a
breeze. I have had these comments too, from the uninformed. They are
concerned for our safety and dont realize thinner is actually better and
safer.
— bob-haller
December 27, 2001
On Christmas day my brother said I looked good but I told him although I've
lost 117 I should lose another 73 lbs. That would put me at 129. He said
I'll never weight what I did in my 20's! (I weighed 123 in high school).
However at 201 and 5'2 and 1/2, this weight is just to high for me.
However, basically I have'nt lost anything of substance in almost two
months and I'm wondering if I ever will again.
They may see me as skinny but I still have an A## a mile wide and thighs I
could use for swimming flippers. I am way to heavy for my short frame....
and they say I'm about right? Geese. They may get their wish. My *$&^%
body (at almost 8 months) does'nt want to shed another ounce and I sure
don't know why. I'm about ready to pop diet pills and quit eating all
together.
— Danmark
December 27, 2001
My family & friends started in about 30# from goal also. By then, we
look nearly normal, or certainly close enough (to them). We DO look a
little gaunt & drawn as we slide into goal wt. It is to be expected
& usually we cannot see it in ourselves (since we still see fat!), but
they're squawking cuz they cannot control it any more than they could the
upward spiral. We're done when we're done, and usually people do not STAY
too thin. They float around a bit and eventually park. I hit a low of 104#
(though I was hoping to break 99#), and drifted back up to 118, then
settled at 112 for YEARS. My own goal was 125, but I thought that was a
fantasy. It just happened to have worked better than I ever HOPED for. But
my family surely did scream, UNTIL I STABILIZED. Then, what was "too
thin" at 150# was "just right" at 112#. Figure it.
— vitalady
December 27, 2001
Take Michelle Curan's advice to heart. She has never steered me wrong. I
asked this same question at a year out of surgery. I went from 280 to 113
and according to family, looked anorexic and horrible. I do have to admit
that I looked ALOT older because of all the wrinkles that I suddenly had.
Michelle told me that this would even out, I would stop losing and possibly
even gain a few pounds. I couldn't see the light for another year as I
stayed that thin and had to put up with everyone saying how horrible I
looked. After the second year, I finally gained about 7 pounds (by hard
work actually and really trying), and am now at 120 for the past year.
Seems those 7 pounds did it cause no one tells me I look horrible anymore,
just thin. Hope this helps.
— Barbara H.
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