Question:
Has anyone had a hard time seeing and feeling the weight loss on themselves?
I catch my reflection in a door or window, and just can't see that much difference. Everyone else does, but not me. My clothes are all too big, but I still see the old fat me most of the time. Just need to know if everyone has felt this way. I've lost 87 pounds, am at 160, and everyone says I don't look that. E-mail me if you'd loke. Thanks, Donna in AL — Donna S. C. (posted on September 24, 2001)
September 23, 2001
I am 18 months post-op, have lost 145 lbs. (10 lbs. from goal), and am just
now beginning to "believe" that the image in the mirror is really
me. My daughter is 20 months post-op and has lost 210 lbs. She has also
shared this same experience. Our surgeon tells his patients that
psychologically it typically takes about three years for your head to
"catch up" with your body. For months and months, we kept
clothes in our closets that were way too large and kept trying to wear them
to work in the mornings, only to realize that it looked as if we were
walking out the door wearing a tent :-) For a long time, it was even hard
to accept compliments about the weight loss....it was obvious to others,
but we just couldn't see it. I even began to have people telling me that
SURELY I didn't want to lose anymore weight, and telling me how SKINNY I
had become....I thought they were either crazy or just trying to be
terribly kind.....or then I started to worry about whether I looked sick or
anorexic. Don't fret about this, it all really does even out over time.
Enjoy your new health and your new life....the rest will take care of
itself. Best wishes!
— Diana T.
September 23, 2001
I've not had surgery yet,but speaking from expierence of losing in the
past, i would say it might help to take a lot of photos...keep them handy
for yourself even if you don't want to share them with anyone else.
I agree it takes time, you look at you every day.
Think how much a baby grows in 6 months...12 months..
We're doing the same, but losing. Start having fun with it, go out and try
on some of those styles you've always been afraid to try...even if you dont
buy...try!!!!
Enjoy your new life!!!
— Jackiis
September 24, 2001
I think that we are the last ones to see the results of our weight
loss. After losing over 100lbs. three years ago and getting down to
a size 14 from a size 28, I still "see" myself as fat. In my
head I know I wear a size 14. So, why do I always take size 18's to the
dressing room???? Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window
and I'm shocked at how much weight I've lost because I still think of
myself
as fat. Even with shoes...I always ask for 10W...and they are always too
big
because I now wear a size 9B!!!! I've even bought size 10W's and had to
stuff
them with two pairs of innersoles to keep them on my feet!! I have friends
in
my support group who have similar experiences. I'm considering seeing a
therpist
who specializes in body image issues.
— [Anonymous]
September 24, 2001
Donna, although I'm still pre-op, I believe I can answer this question. If
you are like me you have been obese all your life, or at least never liked
your body. It is all about self esteem and how you feel about your body. If
you don't like yourself you can never see the real you the beautiful you.
My advice would be that you might want to see a therapist to work on self
esteem issues. Or try What my therapist said. start looking at your self in
the mirror daily (nude) and get used to looking at your body and
appreciating it. Also one of the posters said take alot of pictures That
also is great idea. As for the weight loss yahoo!!! you go girl!!!!
— sherri W.
September 24, 2001
Donna, the first thing you need to do is get some clothes that fit!!! Even
if they are cheap (I hit the Lerner sale and bought $7 and $10 items) they
will help you to see the "real" you. I started at a size 22 and
with my clothes off, I still see a size 22. When I can fit in a smaller
size, though, my brain can't deny that I have lost weight and inches. I now
refuse to wear baggy clothes. I spent most of my life hiding from my own
body and I am too proud of what I've accomplished to hide it now. I don't
know how tall you are, but at 160 pounds you weigh just about what I do.
Treat yourself to some new clothes that flatter you. You WILL see the
difference! The last time I bought an outfit I knew it was the one for me
because I spent like 15 minutes staring in the mirror. I couldn't believe
it was me!
— ctyst
September 24, 2001
Thank You, for posting that question. I'm two and a half months post-op
and down 70 pounds, and I still try to wear those size 30 clothes. I can
wear a size 24/26 now, but I have to remind myself not to go up higher. My
mom told me just yesterday, "Tammye, it's time to give those jeans up.
They are way too big." I haven't heard those words coming from her
ever! I can't see the difference. I feel the same inside. I'm just glad
to know that I'm normal. Thank You.
— Tammy W.
September 24, 2001
I'm 7mos post-op and down 90 lbs. I can fit into a 22-24 top and an 18-20
pants. I tried on a dozen things last week and I just can't bring myself
to buy them. I want to buy those good-old 30-32's. I'm not sure what to
do. Maybe I should take an objective person with me to tell me how
something REALLY looks.
— Meredith A.
September 24, 2001
Donna. Yes I am having a hard time noticing a difference even though other
people say they can. I think part of the problem is that all of my pants
were elastic around the waist so they still fit ok. I will find out
tomorrow just how much I have lost as I go for my 3 month checkup then. I
hope I have lost at least 50 lbs. I can't wait to be able to see the
difference myself.
— Terry H.
September 24, 2001
I had a real problem with this as well. I think most of us do. What finally
helped me was I asked my husband to point out someone who had similar body
shape/size. When he did I was shocked - the woman looked
"normal"! That was about 20 pounds ago. I think it's time to ask
him again. You might try it, it sure helped me feel better about myself.
— georgiacarol
September 24, 2001
After 8-1/2 mos. of losing I'm FINALLY able to see a difference. Mainly
because I finally bought some new clothes this past weekend ... from a size
18/20 & 22 to a size 14/16. I was SO excited!!! Those baggy clothes
do not do anything to show off anyone's weight loss. Today with my new
size on everyone commented about how much weight I've lost and, boy, it
felt GOOD hearing that.
— Betty Todd
September 24, 2001
Hi, Donna. First, congrats on the weight loss! That's wonderful! I do
understand what you mean: Our minds and bodies take a while to catch up
with one another. That sure has been my case (I'm down about 93 lbs in 4
months and down from a 32 to a 20-22 sizewise). This tool helps us lose so
fast that it truly is hard to bend your mind around the changes in your
body. One recommendation I'd make: You noted that your clothes are big on
you (yeah!!), you might want to consider getting rid of the big clothes and
getting some things closer to your size. The internet clothing exchanges
are good, if your surgeon doesn't have a support group with a clothing
exchange. Even if you get just a few items, you'll feel so much better. It
feels wonderful to swim in big clothes, but you sure look better when
you're wearing something that fits! I've spoken to a psychologist about the
old "when does my mind catch up with my body?" question, and she
said it could take a year (by which time, you'll be down even more!) Good
luck!
— Mary Ellen W.
August 7, 2005
Hi Donna
I have lost almost 300 lbs and I know i'm not the same person and when I
look in the mirror I still that fat man who has plagued me all my
life.Evryone tells me I look great but it's hard for me to see
it......steve
— SteveApril45
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