Question:
Why is this emotional so hard?
I am jsut feeling terrible about myself. I am suffering those post op blues. I am 9 days post op. Everytime I see someone eating or see a commericial I get down and depressed wondering was this worth it? I sometimes think to myself that I shouldn't have done this if only I had tried one more diet or something. I don't know I am having a really hard time. I started off 213 and I am down 201 and no one has noticed even people who know i got it down say that I look the same. I don't know. Has anyone experienced this feeling? PLease help with any advice? — Jennifer L. (posted on July 21, 2001)
July 21, 2001
Hi there, you are not alone! I'm only a few days post-op and I haven't
even lost any weight that I know of yet. I live in the San Francisco Bay
Area, and my drive home from the hospital yesterday was hard. There are so
many wonderful places to eat in this area and I think I smelled all of them
on my way home. Some people have food odor problems after surgery (for
instance, the smell of food makes them ill), I don't think I'll ever have
that problem! :)
Try to hang in there. If you need help, ask for it. I had to go on Xanax a
week before my procedure and it helped me with that anxiety in the last
stretch. It was hard for me, since I am not a pill-poppin' gal! That's
also changed since surgery, since I have to take stuff every day now.
As to people not noticing your weight loss, give it time. You've done this
for YOU, remember? Remember that human nature is a complex thing and that
folks don't always feel comfortable asking someone about their weight... or
they're just buttheads. Who knows?
In any case, keep your chin up, and use this site as a resource. It's
helped me in more ways than I can tell you.
— Sheila B.
July 21, 2001
Hang in there. The exact same thing happened to me about 10 days post-op. I
woke up one morning and just started crying. I had only lost 3 pounds, was
still sore from surgery and could just seem to see the negatives and no
positives. I finally called my husband home from work and boo-hooed for
about 20 minutes. I even cried that I wouldn't be able to eat
Thanksgiving!! With his support, I just tried to focus one day at a time
and after one month, I went to the doctor and lost 20 pounds. I'm now 3
months post-op and have lost 55 pounds! It will happen for you. Keep your
chin up!!
— Lesley K.
July 21, 2001
You know the funny thing is that tv food commercials, and watching others
eat does'nt bother me in the least. However I was very depressed for awhile
after surgery and did'nt know why. Also it was 40 pounds before anyone
noticed I had lost anything. :( That was depressing too. It will get
better. Hang in there.
— Danmark
July 21, 2001
Jennifer: I think most of us went through this right after surgery. I never
knew how many food commercials were on tv until my surgery. I would look at
the Hardees and Pizza Hut commercials and just cry. I was sure I would
never be able to eat again. I called one of my friends and told her I made
a terrible mistake! But rest assured, all will get better. Soon you'll be
able to eat more normal food and your feelings of despair will be gone.
I've lost 80 lbs now in only six months, and I wish I would have had the
surgery 10 years ago. Good luck!!
— Kristy J.
July 21, 2001
Jennifer, you are SO normal hon. I know it doesn't seem so but I promise
you that this too, will pass. The anesthesia makes alot of people
depressed for a month after surgery and that only adds to the fact that you
are hurting and not living "normally" like you did. I can't help
you with the food commercials but I can tell you that eventually, you will
again be able to eat what you want to again within reason.
As for nobody noticing, well, hon, it's a great accomplishment for YOU
and that is what is important. My family and friends didn't tend to notice
the loss as much as people that I hardly ever saw. My family didn't
realize what a difference there was until they saw before and after
pictures because they were with me every day as I lost. And I lost 160
pounds! From 280 to 113. they knew I lost but it just didn't seem so
drastic to them. I am sure that your close family and friends are the
same. When 30 or more pounds come off, everyone will start noticing but
the important one is YOU. Your self esteem will be so much better and you
won't crave the approval of others as much as you do now. We have all been
there and as we lose weight, we find ourselves again. No one else can
understand the sacrifices that you are making to be healthy again. No one.
People on here can empathize but we all have our individual burdens to
bare when it comes to dealing with this surgery. I hope that very soon,
you will see the beautiful person that is inside you and stop worrying
about others seeing it. You will soon shine and it won't be because you
are skinny but because you have self confidence and believe in yourself
again. I promise that it will happen. Just give it alittle time.
— Barbara H.
July 21, 2001
Am not to the stage you are at yet. But I have heard that we mourn the
food. Like a friend who is no longer with us. We have used food for so many
things in our lives up to this point. To comfort us,help us comfort
others,and when we have been bored.It is only natural that you are going to
feel this way around food for a while. The trick to it I think, is as you
loose the weight and become more active, the food will takes it's proper
place in your life. Look to those other activities to help you to
appreciate the things you can do already that you couldn't do, physically
before surgery. As far as the people noticing, they will and soon. Just
keep on your steady path and it will come together. Good luck!
— Susan G.
July 21, 2001
Remember even if you dump bad you can always eat a bite or 2 sweets. So
Oreos will still be there, in limited quanties.
No you dont want to eat a lot of them but occasional treats should be OK.
— bob-haller
July 21, 2001
Jennifer, I haven't had my surgery yet, but have done a lot of research.
Nearly everyone has postop. depression - a lot of docs tell you to expect
it. It will clear up. If not, tell your doc, but give it time. Also they
say the initial weight loss is water weight and so not noticeable. It is
normal that people won't notice (YOU will!) until you've lost 30-40 lbs. My
mom always said "People are so wrapped up in thinking about themselves
that it takes a long time and a drastic difference before they notice
you've changed".
Be patient and just repeat after me, "This too, shall pass..."
Rooting for you in Denver CO! Lisa Dobson
— Lisa D.
July 21, 2001
I know how you feel...I had my surgery at Thanksgiving! Friend, please
know that when you start seeing the weight peel off of you, you will not
EVEN CARE! I have lost over 100 pounds...I do not care about the food. Just
know that you can always give yourself a little treat as long as you keep
it small and simple. do't give in everytime, just once in a while. People
may be afraid to mention the weight loss. Bring it up to them. They may
feel uncomfortable. Don't worry, your rewards are coming...BELEIVE ME.
— GINA B.
July 22, 2001
When we have a long way to go, sometimes the only thing we see is how far
it is ahead of us, and not how far we have come. Rejoice in where you are
now. Easy to say, hard to do. Check your expectations! Remember that
your life is precious, just the way you are now, and it can only get better
from here. The fact that others cannot yet see what you know to be true is
just *their* lack. *You* know what you've done, Acknowledge your wonderful
efforts and pat your*self* on the back! Hang in there, they soon won't
even recognize who you are.
— Marjorie B.
Click Here to Return