Question:
Has anyone, besides me, REGRETTED having this surgery?
I am 15 days post op and down 33 lbs. I am depressed and many times regret having this surgery. I spent 9 months researching and persuing it, in addition to having to fight with insurance. Now here I am, post op, and I REGRET having it. Why? Because the pain is almost unbearable. I am tired of hurting! I can't sleep on my side or my tummy, I am sleepy all the time, I often feel nauseous, it hurts to get out of a chair, my lower incision is draining excessively, I crave the foods I can no longer have, it hurts to walk.......I am just miserable. Though I am thrilled about my weight loss success, I am scared to death that I have made a horrible decision in having this surgery. I want to know when the pain is going to subside. Maybe then I won't feel like it's so hopeless and I'm going to go on hurting forever. I don't know what's wrong with me. What am I doing differently than everyone else who insists that they'd do this all over again in a single heartbeat!? Anyone out there who can HELP ME? I need some reassurance! : ( Signed, Heather from Florida. — Heather W. (posted on May 19, 2001)
May 19, 2001
Dear Heather, I am so sorry that you are miserable. Yes, I must admit
that in the beginning I had some regrets. It's normal. Not only are you
surrering from pain, you are grieving the loss of your best friend (food),
and your hormones are most likely out of whack. It's the most difficult
time. My mother gave me some comforting words about pain. Even if the
pain is intolerable for 2 weeks, if you can live a long, healthy and happy
life, don't you think it's worth it? Odds are that 2 years from now when
you are wearing your tankini at the beach, you'll barely remember the pain.
Also, please speak to your physician to make sure that your pain is
'normal' and perhaps he can recommend a less loopier pain med (Tylenol 3 or
something)Best of luck to you.
— Jeannet
May 19, 2001
oh Heather..I wish I could be next to you and give you a big hug and a
shoulder to cry on. I was just where you are a few weeks ago .I am now 8
weeks post op down almost 50 pounds and I know how you feel.
First of all, you need to get pain meds or start taking them again if
you've stopped. Your body can't heal when it too consumed with dealing with
pain.
Secondly, with the food cravings. All i wanted for the first three weeks
post op was for a genie to appear reverse that horrible thing I had done to
my body and take me to McDOnalds.
My turn around came when I went back to work (3 weeks -- I had Lap RNY) and
when I started getting some real food in me. I am convinced the nutrition
was a big part of my depression, not necessarily the eating but the basic
needs the body has. Protein shakes and jello did nothing for me.
I know it sounds empty now, but I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER!! I have also
been on 20 mg of Prozac since two weeks prior to surgery. I know a lot of
post ops go on it (or something similar) for exactly the symptoms you are
talking about.
We have gone through a major surgery, and although in the end it will be
the best thing we've ever done, for now it is very traumatic both
physically and emotionally.
Please feel free to contact me directly. I would love to help you through
this any way I can.
A big hug and a lot of love,
Rebecca
[email protected]
— Rebecca L.
May 19, 2001
Oh honey! Your stomach has been run over by a truck, you're on drugs, you
can't sleep right and can't wake up, either, and you can't turn to your
former comforter. AND THEN, you're expecting to be all cheeerful and make
nice? I did not personally experience the post-op depression, but I have
met others who did. One girl was trying to schedule her reversal from the
hospital! I wish you could talk to her today, with 180# missing, able to
eat small amounts of normal foods and work out with joy. You should get a
look at the fella she's got, too. You know, a side bonus. She actually
delights in helping people through this period because it was so
devastating to her. So, does that help you to know that you are not alone?
You still have the break-in period to finish, and then life begins, all
new, with you in the driver's seat, instead of being the caboose-victim.
And yes, I'm sure she'd talk to you if you wanted to email me privately.
— vitalady
May 19, 2001
One more thing about pain control...in today's day and age it is barbaric
to experience ANY pain. And, in fact, good pain control will help your
recovery by allowing you to be more active. Demand good pain control from
your doctor. Don't worry about becoming addicted to pain medicine. If you
are still on anything after 6 weeks, then worry.
— merri B.
May 19, 2001
{{{Heather}}} Give yourself some time. Things are going to be so bright
for you in the years to come. Just keep putting one foot in front of the
other. It is all you can do just now. Get a journal and write in it all
your plans,hopes and dreams whenever you are feeling most miserable.
— Nancy Z.
May 20, 2001
Heather...I will echo all the above responses. I am 10 months post op and
minus 115 pounds. I had lots of emotional regrets for a long time but no
physical regrets. In other words, I knew this was good for my physical
health but wasn't sure about my emotional health. I used a journal and
have seen a therapist since before the surgery. I highly recommend both,
these body changes are earth shaking. Please, please give it some time and
be accepting of your journey as you enter unchartered territory.
— Judy B.
May 20, 2001
Heather,
I am almost 6 wks post-op and regret it every day of my life. I have been
in the hospital 2 more times already for complications. The opening from
stomach to my intestines was closed up and I had to have an endo with
dilation to open it up. That was after vomiting non stop for a week and
half. I had a low potassium, magnesium and was very dehydrated. I have lost
56# as of now (starting wt 254). I lost it the hard way and am NOT happy.
I still vomit at least once a day. I can eat 2-3 bites of food, on the 4th
bite I will vomit every time, even soups or cream of wheat. I can only sip
and it takes a very long time to drink even 4 oz of water or liquid. I am
just miserable. I am transected so no chance of being reversed or I would
do it today!!!!! Good luck and I hope you get better, everyone keeps saying
I will, so I'm holding in there. Laura
— Laura S.
May 20, 2001
One of the first things my surgeon asked me at my first post op office
visit is "was it worth it?" I told him no, ask me again in 6
months. We have went through a major medical event in our lives. The mind
and body needs to work together in order for us to feel completely in
control and healthy. Both are out of whack when we go through this event.
Before surgery, we took a day just as it was-day by day. Immediately after
surgery, we have to take it minute by minute, hour by hour. Some people
feel completely better after 2 weeks and are can go back to their prior
lives with no problem. Some of us need a full 6-8 weeks or longer to feel
normal again. There is not time limit in feeling better because we are all
different. For those of us who said we would do it all over again, we are
usually several months post op. By then, we feel healthier, out weight loss
is good and can put the whole surgical and immediate post op period behind
us.I hope you start to feel better soon. Take care and hugs.
— Jan M.
May 20, 2001
The way I feel right now at 5 wks post-op is that I would not have this
surgery (open prox RNY) again. And I almost feel bad saying that because I
have been complication free...surgery went fine, off pain meds before I
left the hospital, no vomiting, little nausea. I have no problems drinking
and easily get in the 64 oz of fluid a day. So I can hear you
asking...what's the problem? Well, I can't find any solid food to eat.
Anything I have to chew, any sort of meat, chicken, even tuna salad just
totally turns me off. And please don't tell me to puree it in the
blender..yuck. I am living on popsicles, yogurt, cottage cheese, and
pretzels with one protein shake a day thown in for good measure. I'm sick
of not being able to eat. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to eat
sweets, bags of chips, and bacon cheeseburgers, but I can't even eat
anything healthy like baked chicken or a salad. I'm discouraged and
depressed and right now wishing I'd had the BPD/DS surgery instead. At
least I wouldn't have to chew so much. Hopefully this will get better as
time goes on because I cannot live like this forever. I feel worse now at
5 wks than I did at 2 wks post-op.
About your pain though, if you are still in alot of pain you should talk to
the surgeon. I was uncomfortable until I got my staples out at 15 days,
then I was fine. I couldn't lay down with the staples, and I slept in a
recliner.
Good luck.
— Karen F.
May 21, 2001
Hang in there! I felt awful for the first four weeks after surgery, then I
started to feel better. I'm now 8 weeks post-op, and I feel great. No more
pain, no more nausea, and I can finally sleep on my tummy again. Once I
stopped the pain meds (at about 3 weeks), I wasn't sleepy any more. My
incisions have healed (finally). Give it a little more time, and try to
walk as much as possible (even if you just pace around the house - that's
what I did at first). I know it's hard, but the more you move, the better
you will feel. Just take it one day at a time, and before you know it, you
will realize that you feel are feeling a little better every day.
— Shannon M.
February 19, 2004
i am 2years and 160lbs lighter...biggest mistake of my life..I swore I
would not bad mouth this wurgery, but my career has failed, my $$$has
bankrupt, and if not for saint of a husband of 20 plus years and 2
wonderful kids..I would be 6 ft. under..Many complicaticions at a healthy
age of 40..I have a masters degree and researched what I thought was every
angle of this procedure...only the fair --weathered friends tell the real
story...Think 100 times before you make this long trip to this...I regret
every moment. movement..motion ect...I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but feel it is unfair to tell the one-sided success stories..BEWARE
!!!!!!!!!
— irene B.
February 19, 2004
I am sorry you had such a terrible time with this surgery. Both my wife and
I had the RNY within the last 5 months. She also had alot of pain, at
first, but the pain went away after about 4 weeks and she now feels great.
I was very blessed and lucky in that I had NO PAIN AT ALL. I only suffered
slight discomfort for the first two days. I was off of all pain medication
on my 3rd post op day. I also was 90% totally healed in just 6 weeks.
Neither of us have any complications at all including dumping, hair loss,
excessive gas, etc. I attribute this to the surgical group we used. I was
400 pounds the day of surgery and now 4 months later I am 305 lbs. My risk
of heart problems has gone from very high to almost none and I have gone
from 4 insulin shots a day to one. My back does not hurt at all anymore and
my physical strength is 2 to 3 times, or more, what is was before surgery.
We both feel great. We are both extremely happy with out surgery outcomes
and wish everyone else good luck. The surgery probably added many years to
my life. By the way I did have the open procedure and my insission was 11
inches long. All the nurses were amazed that I needed no pain medication. I
have had more severe pain getting my teeth drilled. I too was surprised at
how easy this all went for me.
— Steve D.
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