Question:
I broky my mother's toilet seat today

I went to my mom's house during my lunch break and I had to use the bathroom. While sitting on the throne, I felt a snap. When I moved to see what it was, the toilet seat literally broke in half and landed in my hands. I AM SO ASHAMED!!! not to mention embarassed. I immediately broke into tears. My mother said not to worry, that the toilet seat may have been old and ready to give anyway. She called maintenance to come to fix it, and told me, no harm. Yeah right, until tomorrow when I have to use the bathroom again. She said that all that will change soon, and I shouldn't worry to much. I just don't know if I can take much more of this. I want surgery NOW!!! Maybe after tomorrow I will have a better idea on when my surgery will be. Any idea on how I can combat these pre-op blues????    — enjo4 (posted on September 5, 2000)


September 5, 2000
Dear Erin: My first suggestion to combat pre-op blues is to change your attitude! Put your experience in perspective: you broke the toilet seat at your mom's house - you were safe with someone who loves and understands you. Toilet seats are cheap; they break...big deal. Being embarrassed and ashamed means that you need to work on loving yourself. One of the ways you can start is by having a sense of humor. I went to Cedar Pointe with my daughters last year and took the youngest on the swing ride. Well, I had a hard enough time fitting in the darn thing, and I just knew the chain was going to break and send me flying into WaterLand. But it didn't. However, when the ride came to a stop and tried to get out of the swing, it was attached to my butt and I struggled for a good minute before I could get out of it. I could tell my daughter didn't know how to react until I started laughing, and then she laughed. I'm sure there were people in line who saw me stuck, and I hope they had a good laugh too. The way I look at it, I could have gotten my hair stuck in the chain and I would have really been upset! I've broken dining room chairs too - okay, so it wasn't in the greatest condition to begin with, but I laughed. It is impossible to be sad when you laugh and you will put those around you at ease. Secondly, I would suggest that you find something to take your mind off waiting for the surgery, like a project that will take some time to complete, something you are interested in and want to complete. I started painting and refinishing garage sale and garbage picked furniture while I waited. It was cheap, time-consuming and I really felt as if I accomplished something and I was very happy with the results. And when my family and friends saw what I had done, they made me feel good with their compliments. Finally, I think it might do you good to hear about other members' most embarrassing moments and how they survived them. I remember once reading a teen magazine that had a feature about embarrassing moments and a girl had written that she once had a tampon fly out while she was playing soccer! Yikes! Now that's embarrassing! Anybody else want to share some embarrassing moments? Take care of yourself, love yourself, laugh and put this behind you. You are so much more than this little incident. Good luck...
   — Allie B.

September 5, 2000
I broke my sister's toilet seat post op!!!! (But it was ugly and she was happy to replace it....) When it happened, it did seem like an omen, however, it was post-op, so I just sat there smirking thinking of the irony of it all..... I know the feeling of "I want this surgery NOW". Actually it drove me quite MAD at times. I just kept reading as much as I could about the surgery, trying to prepare myself, and kept occupied.
   — Karen R.

September 5, 2000
Erin, sweetie, hang in there!!!!! Yes, we all have those moments that we'd rather forget. Last year I was at a restaurant eating by myself when the chair broke. No one really bothered to help me, and it was embarrassing but I did survive it. My 5 year old nephew often makes very innocent comments about "big people" like me. The great thing about all of this is that you are taking real, meaningful, serious steps to deal with your health issues, and soon the embarrassing stuff will be all behind you. Make a list of some goals you want to achieve. Break it into 2 catergories - health goals and social goals. My nutritionist suggested this, and I really liked the idea. It helped put things into perspective and kept my mind off things. For example, some of my health goals included getting off my CPAP machine and getting off both my diabetes and high blood pressure meds. I am happy to report that after 3 months post op, these goals have been met. Examples of a few of my social goals include sitting comfortably in an airplane seat, going below the weight limit for horseback riding, and fitting in a "little black dress". I am well on my way to meeting those goals as well. Keep yourself busy. Now is a great time to clean those closets that you've always wanted to reorganize, paint that room that needs a new coat, or put that photo album together that has been sitting in a box for years. Use your surgery as a mental excuse to get everything done. I am a list person. I kept myself busy by making to-do lists for before and after the surgery. I also took a lot of time to get my apt in order so that I wouldn't have to mess with it during my recovery. Don't worry - you'll do fine. Hang tight - your new birthday is coming!!!
   — Paula G.

September 5, 2000
Erin, darlin' -- been there, done that! Last summer, at a job interview, just as I was getting up to leave, I heard something deep within the padded (thank God it didn't have ARMS) chair go SNAP! and the thing fell apart as I pulled my gargantuan butt off it. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Thought I was gonna DIE -- but, on the other hand, I'll never see those people again. I'm with some of the other postees -- you just gotta keep your sense of humor about these things. We've all broken stuff, gotten stuck in stuff -- one other time, I was sitting in my boss' office, in one of those chairs that have frames made out of metal tubes, when the thing snapped in half, and I rolled off backwards (in a SKIRT, no less) in a perfect back somersault. I just sat on the floor and killed myself laughing. What else are you gonna do? It really is funny now, and I guess it didn't bother me all that much then, either, 'cause I kept eating. Chin up, my friend -- your day will come!
   — Cheryl Denomy

September 5, 2000
Erin, Like someone else said, "Been there, done that." I have broken at least 4 toilet seats in our house over the past two years. It started to become a joke between my husband and I, but inside it left me feeling mortified. I understand. Stand tall.. you're moving in the right direction.
   — BethVBG

September 5, 2000
I have been there but it was in my own home. I broke a toilet seat.. then the next day i broke the new one. i was horrified because the hubby man had to replace them (we now have an extra for each toilet in the house HOW bad is THAT?)It wouldn't have been so bad if i could fig between the wall and the toilet to take the broken one off and replace it myself, but to have to have him do it in two days is terrible. as for the pre-serg blues. I haven't reached that point. I am still on a high from my consult, but I think the busy idea is a good one. I am going to use it for the next two weeks while i wait for the time to start bugging ins.. *s* hang in there!
   — blank first name B.

September 5, 2000
ok, I wanna play can you top this: I broke a whole toilet. You know, the kind suspended on the wall? Last July, I was on my way to a deposition to testify as an expert witness. I took a dump before hand in the communal bathroom of the office building. I leaned to the left and hoisted to wipe when I heard a very unhealthy CRRRRACK! I proceeded to reach to wipe and suddenly, the whole toilet gave way, cracking into a gazillion pieces, with me falling into the fouled water. Thank God for those handrails in the handicapped stall or I could have had some severe cuts on my rump. I was TERRIBLY upset and called for help, had to rinse the toilet water off my pants which had been at my ankles. Basically had to compose myself and proceeded to the deposition. I allowed myself one quick break of hot tears of humiliation and anger, viewed the wreckage enough to convince myself that the toilet had been installed defective (there was a clean crack at the bolt where they probably cracked the porceline during installation), and then fended off the personal injury attorney who wanted to take my case. I figured the only thing worse than getting through those moments was the telling of it over and over again to a jury of 12 and being cross examined by a defense attorney who would trot out the contributory negligence play. So, I took my embarrassment like a woman, compared it to the time I started a really heavy period in class in college and wrote it off to my humanity. Of course, I also had an open skin wound on my leg that developed infection within 3 weeks, landing me in the hospital for 10 days with cellulitis and scared the bejesus out of me, which helped me to make the decision to have this surgery, so, 90 pounds later, I guess it was all worth it. Hope this helps to let you know you are not alone. Fondly,
   — merri B.

September 5, 2000
I'd like to join the Broken Toilet Seat Club too! I've broken several including my in-laws' toilet seat! I've gotten stuck in various chairs (including a wheelchair) and even a bathtub once. I had to have 6 grown men carry my stretcher when I was in a car accident. I've spent my whole adult life trying to avoid situations that could be embarrassing to me. This surgery has been a miracle to me and I'm not afraid to go out in public anymore! I even talk to strangers now! It took me 8 months from consultation to surgery and I'll tell you that was the longest time of my life. The only thing that kept me sane was to be at this site, often! It really inspired me to read the success stories. I spent hours reading the postop profiles. Sure, sometimes I would get upset and wonder if that success would ever happen to me, but I tried to distract myself away from that kind of thinking. The time is going to pass either way, you are the one that decides how you'll spend that time. Good luck to you!
   — Kellie L.

September 5, 2000
Private humiliation is one thing (yes, I have broken a few seats in my time), but public humiliation is another (Merri, you sure know how to show class under extreme duress!). I was at a Theme Park last year and we were going to go on a roller coaster. They had a seat to try before we got in line, so I did. If front of what seemed to be MILLIONS of people, I tried the seat and couldn't fit into it. I kept telling myself that at least I didn't get in line, wait 1/2 hour, get to the ride, and THEN have to get out at the last minute. It didn't feel any better:( We are going again this Thursday- I am down 93 lbs since last year. I am STILL afraid I won't fit:) My daughter is telling everybody we're riding til we puke:) On a side note about bathrooms, I now fit into a regular stall (not handicapped anymore) and Port a Potties! Hang in there Erin- you will get past this!!
   — M B.

March 30, 2001
Ok, here's my story: I was in a pizza and beer, karoke place. I was with my mother and my s/o. The waitress brought our pitcher of (birch) beer. I picked up the pitcher and the wooden chair I had my butt in EXPLODED. Needless to say, I ended up on the floor. The funniest part of it was that as I sat there, I was still holding the pitcher of birch beer and barely spilled a drop! I can laugh about this now. You will too!
   — Gail A.

May 31, 2001
Thank all of you for sharing your most embarrassing moments. I want you to know because you are so wlling to share your lives that I love all of you people...you have given me a lot of comfort. I have broken everything from chairs to zippers and many many ripped pieces of clothing articles in public. I once walked around a mall not realizing I had blown the seams in the rear of my pants until a concerned shopper stpped to tell me. I am looking forward to my surgery in August. Best wishes in everyones endeavors!
   — Jennifer H.

April 25, 2002
I just love success stories!!!! I was reading Erin's post and feeling sorry for all of us with our trials from carrying so much weight. (I just repeat postop postop postop to console myself) I had to look up Erin's profile. And guess what?? Miss 'toilet seat breaker' weighs only 140 lbs and fits into size 8 jeans!!! WOWOW!!! Size 8's can only break hearts. lol I am approved but still preop and hope that one day soon I will be as successful as Erin!
   — Carmen K.

April 26, 2002
Hello! I have never broken a toilet seat, but I have gotten my butt stuck in a wheelchair last summer (long story). I kid you not, it took two men to pry it off my fat a***. Although I was cracking up, playing the "jolly fat lady," inside I was dying. Alls I can say is thank god they got it off. I can't imagine still being hunched over like that! Bright blessings to you...
   — rebeccamayhew

April 26, 2002
Toilet seats and other things break. Its just mortifying when you're heavy. But hey, my little one at 8 years old has managed to break one herself. It was just its "time". No worries. By the way, I suggest solid wood toilet seats with heavy brass hinges. Others are made way too cheap!
   — Shelly S.




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