Question:
How does one accept the fear and all the emotions 3 days before surgery.

Up until now I have been very excited about getting to the other side. I don't understand my own feelings. I under no circumstances have changed my mind but I'm scared and I don't know if it's the surgery or the thought of loosing my best friend till now (FOOD). Anyone with suggestions? Is this normal?    — Christine L. (posted on July 7, 2000)

July 6, 2000
Hi Christine, Yes it is normal to be scared. Fear of the unknown is very real and you are about to enter a new way of life, so of course it is scarey. Fear of surgery is normal too. And don't worry, you aren't losing food, you are just forming a new relationship with it.
   — [Anonymous]

July 6, 2000
Christine: Very common to feel all these things. After all, this is a life-changing event, involving some difficult times, pain, and losses. I think it's normal to be afraid of the surgery and of the loss. Take some deep breaths, relax, go get your hair done.....LOL. Good luck! Jaye Carl, RN, open proximal RNY (divided) 7-29-99, 110 pounds gone forever!
   — Jaye C.

July 6, 2000
It is perfectly normal to be scared before surgery. We know we want the surgery. I guess it is a natural fear of the unknown. There is also the basic fear that we may die. After years of being told our obesity makes us a surgical, we are now looking at surgery to help us get thin. You are afraid of loosing food as your best friend. Well that best friend is killing you. You will go through a grieving process. Food was the crutch you used to help you cope with outside problems. I really suggest you join a support group or see a psychologist, to help you discover why you used food for a control or comfot issue. Food is such a great big deal for people in this country. We use it to celebrate, comfort and reward. I must honestly say food is not important to me now as it use to be. I eat now because I have to, not because I want to. Hang in there, you are in for a great new life and alot of changes. If I can be of any help to you just ask. I am 5 years out from VGB surgery. So I have been there and done that... Avis Gandy [email protected]
   — Avis G.

July 6, 2000
I am just ELEVEN days away from surgery, myself (as of 7/7). I can certainly identify w/ the thoughts and feelings that you are now having. Each day that I get closer to time for my surgery, the more "butterflies" I get in my tummy! Others have done it, and I know I can do it, too. So can YOU. The post op's are telling us that we will have better quality lives afterwards. I think we need to focus on that thought right now. I have to take this thing just 24 hrs at a time or I will be completely overwhelmed. I also have to take the road of FAITH not FEAR. Easy to say but hard to do, huh?! I am trying my best to stay busy w/ other things so I don't think about July 18th all the time. If you have a higher power, just picture him/her taking hold of your hand as you enter surgery. Hold on to it tightly. Faith will bring you through.(and me, too). {{many hugs}} Before you know it, you will be "on the other side"...something we have waited for ....for such a long time.
   — kathy S.

July 7, 2000
Personally, I took anti-anxiety medication. But then, I believe in better living through chemicals. Fondly,
   — merri B.

July 7, 2000
Christine -- We share the same surgery date. Boy, can I relate. I was at work this morning at 6:30 because I couldn't sleep anymore. (I usually get up at 7:00!) Anyway I've been dealing with all the anxiety by keeping as busy as possible. I am more anxious about the unknown -- What's going to happen at the hospital? How will I deal with being treated differently when I am thin? How will this change my marriage? Will my personality change? -- than I am of dieing or of complications arising. I don't know if I'm just unafraid of dieing or if I'm in complete denial, but no matter what happens I will NOT have another fat summer. As nervous as I am, I know that I am in good hands (both those of my surgeon and the "Higher Power"). I trust my surgeon and as long as I do my part and follow his instructions, before and after surgery, there is nothing else I can do. We will both be fine, better than fine. We'll come through this with flying colors and look back on this as one of the very best things we have ever done. Hugs, Sharyle
   — Sharyle L.