Question:
I don't want to tell my work that I am having WLS,
I don't really feel comfortable telling my job that I am going to be out for a month for WLS. I was wondering what other surgeries would keep me out of work for a month? I know this sounds stupid, but my boss is fairly supportive of my decisions but can be very critical at times. I just don't want to have to tell her what I am doing. I was told that, by law, I don't have to tell them what type of surgery I am having, but I feel like I have to tell them something. Any suggestions on what I should tell them? Just to note, I have to those in my family and my close friends that are not co-workers. I have the support of mostly everyone, I just don't want people at work knowing, especially my boss. Thanks — enjo4 (posted on May 16, 2000)
May 16, 2000
Resist the urge to tell them anything. They can always use it against you.
Sorry to be paranoid but I ahve had it happen. Later on you can always tell
them but for right now I would advise against it.
— snicklefritz
May 16, 2000
Patients rights protect you... you really dont have to tell anyone of your
surgery. Personally, I hate to lie, I would just tell my boss that I was
being admitted for surgery, and its personal, and rather not talk about it.
Present a note from your doctor stating the length of time you will be
off. Your doctor has to respect your rights as well, the procedure does
not have to be written into that note.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
— Beverly A.
May 16, 2000
Erin, you are under no legal obligation to tell your employer or anyone in
the company what you are having done. They may try to convince you
otherwise, saying it's company policy, or we have to know for such and such
a reason. Don't listen to them. You're obviously not comfortable with your
boss knowing, but lying to her is not the best solution. Simply tell her
that it's a very personal matter that you're not comfortable discussing
with her, and that you're sure she understands and will respect your
wishes. This gives her credit for sensitivity while preserving your
privacy. Good luck!
— Duffy H.
May 16, 2000
I'm just about a month post-op, on my second day back to work. There's a
couple of colleagues here who know what I
had done (although, considering I'm 35 pounds smaller than when I left, I'm
sure others are clueing in). For everyone else, I just told them,
"I'm having some plumbing rerouted" and they can read into that
whatever they want. It's not exactly a lie -- an open VBG is having your
"plumbing rerouted" -- but it also leaves out important portions
of the truth.
Good luck!
— Cheryl Denomy
May 16, 2000
Being completely honest about my surgery with my large office was the
single biggest mistake I made when preparing for my surgery. I told my
boss and a handful of people I work directly with what I was doing AND I
asked that they keep the information to themselves. I felt they deserved
to know why I was gone. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I was I did
that. I thought they were mature adults, but even though I asked for
complete discretion the tongues were wagging before the day was over and my
surgery was weeks away. Since then, I have even overheard people talking
about how much weight I have lost and how good I look, only to hear them
being corrected by those "in the know" that well, you know, she
had her stomach stapled (in tones that are by no means supportive or
complimentary). There are two people whom I will never feel the same about
as a result. Do what you must, but if I had it to do over, this whole
joint would think I was gone for any kind of surgery or than gastric
bypass. Some people have a way of somehow diminishing the results if they
know how/why it came about. Family is enough to deal with. Trust me.
— [Anonymous]
May 16, 2000
I understand your position Erin. I did not tell any of my co-workers
either. I juts started this job in late November, and while I feel 2-3
people are trustworthy, I cannot be sure about the rest. The main reason
for not telling anyone was that with this surgery already comes enough to
deal with. I did not need my co-workers' reaction (especially if it was
negative) to get in the way of my focus. And as we all know, so many
people are totally ignorant about this surgery. So many think it's the
easy way out, and there's nothing easy about it. My office is small (about
12 people), and most of them do know that I am out for a few weeks to have
surgery. That's all they know. I did not feel it necessary to expound,
and no one asked what procedure I was having. If someone had, I would have
said it was personal and left it at that. Just simply tell them you are
having a medical procedure and will need recup time. That's it. Good
luck!
— Paula G.
May 16, 2000
Erin,
Just tell them you are having stomach surgery to repair a hernia,and they
will have to open you up. Any type of surgery will take at least 4 weeks to
recover. Except removal of a hangnail.
You really are not obligated to explain, but the boss always wants to know.
Just leave it at that.
There is a type of hernia called a hiatus hernia that can cause problems
with swallowing and such,when it gets bad.
Good Luck,
See ya,
Sue
[email protected]
— Sue M.
May 16, 2000
I am just the opposite. I took this as an opportunity to educate everyone
who would listen about the gift that this surgery is for people like me who
are morbidly obese. Here is what they said: "Good Luck, Merri, I will
be praying for you"...."Get back soon, I am gonna miss
you!"..."You are so lucky! This is going to be great for
you!" I found EVERYONE to be very supportive and, usually having
someone in their life who could benefit from the surgery. Take a
risk...share yourself, you would be amazed at how revealing your humanity
puts other people at ease. Fondly,
— merri B.
May 16, 2000
I am just the opposite. I took this as an opportunity to educate everyone
who would listen about the gift that this surgery is for people like me who
are morbidly obese. Here is what they said: "Good Luck, Merri, I will
be praying for you"...."Get back soon, I am gonna miss
you!"..."You are so lucky! This is going to be great for
you!" I found EVERYONE to be very supportive and, usually having
someone in their life who could benefit from the surgery. Take a
risk...share yourself, you would be amazed at how revealing your humanity
puts other people at ease. Fondly,
— merri B.
May 16, 2000
I am struggling with the same issue. I am close to the people I work with
but I don't really want to say too much because I am too close to my
surgery date (5-30) and I don't want to defend my decision. I am just
telling people that I am having abdominal surgery. I ain't lying, let them
draw their own conclusions. So far this has worked. Maybe once I am back
at work I will tell them everything but not right now. Good luck to you.
— A L.
May 16, 2000
Just tell them you are having surgery. Get a letter from your surgeon
stating that you will be having abdominal surgery and how long you will out
for. If anyone asks, just say "It's personal and I'd rather not get
into it. But thank you for your concern." Worked for me. Actually,
no one even asked what kind of surgery. I think if you're not specific up
front, people will get the idea that you'd rather not say.
— Gina E.
May 16, 2000
Simply say that you are having abdominal surgery to correct a birth or
gentic defect, which is absolutely true! Any further explanation, just
play dumb, cause they sure are for asking.
— rosemary H.
May 16, 2000
Hi Erin: I completely understand your reluctance to tell your boss and
coworkers about the type of surgery you're having done. I felt exactly the
same way. I told my job that I was having my gall bladder removed (true)
and that I needed some other things worked on. End of story. If I was not
having my gb removed, I would have simply said 'abdominal surgery' and left
it to their imaginations. Once I returned to work 9 weeks later, I did
tell people what I had done and used the opportunity to educate them. Most
were receptive to the information and amazed at the results and the amount
of energy I had. I'm a very private person, and didn't want people talking
about my business until I was ready for them to do that. I did tell a few
close friends at work what was really happening, and they were true to
their word and kept it to themselves. I hope this helps! Jaye Carl, RN,
open proximal RNY (divided) 7-29-99, 104 pounds gone forever!
— Jaye C.
May 17, 2000
Hi Alex,
Like you , I didn't want to tell my work, and didn't. Just said abdominal
surgery. Now, 1 year post-op, with lots of compliments and 'how did you do
it?'s. I have started sharing my secret. Especially with those who are
where Iwas a year ago. I think I was afraid of failure then, Now, I'm proud
of my decision , since I can see it was a good one. Good Luck.
— jiggers
July 22, 2000
I worked for five years in the human resources department of a rather large
corporation. Under most state or federal laws, personal information about
the employee that is not job specific, ie: medical, retirement, flexible
spending, etc. is kept separate from job related information, ie:
performance appraisals, merit/pay increases, etc.
Your insurance carrier will notify the company benefits coordinator in
human resources about your surgery, but should not tell him/her what the
surgery is. No-one should know but you. The human resources department,
under law, cannot tell anyone in the company about your medical problems or
treatments. If your supervisor says he/she needs to know what the operation
is, you do not have to tell him/her. Your supervisor cannot get this
information from human resources either. If human resources staff does tell
other staff, they can be in big trouble.
My plans on telling staff when I have my surgery are to just say it is
abdominal or "female" surgery (this will keep the guys from
asking any questions!)
Also, if you're concerned about vacation/sick leave, you have rights under
the Family Medical Leave Act (FLMA). Contact your human resources benefit
coordinator about this, or check out the FMLA on the web. Good luck!!
— [Anonymous]
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