Question:
My only brother heard a horror story so how can I convince him this is what I need?

I really need all your ideas on how to convince my only brother that I have researched this surgurey; and I am going ahead with it.I am his only living family left.    — Lenore G. (posted on March 31, 2000)

March 31, 2000
Why do you need to "convince" him? I told my nay-saying sister that I wasn't asking for either her permission or approval, but that I was asking for her moral support, granted to me as a thinking, responsible adult. And that I would be fine, even if she felt she couldn't support me or my decision. AND I thanked her for caring about me so much and being concerned that the cure might be worse than the disease...
   — merri B.

March 31, 2000
My dad was also against this surgery, because he knew someone who had this surgery and died from it. The reason she died was because she got so obsessed with losing weight, she starved herself to death. But anyway, on to your question. I would tell him, (as I told my dad) that being obese has it own risks, just about the same risks you are going to take to have this surgery, and you are doing it because you DO NOT want to die from obesity or one of its many risks. Also, for every one person who dies from the surgery or has serious complications there are many, many people who do wonderfully. I wish the very best for you.
   — [Anonymous]

March 31, 2000
Bring him to a supportgroup meeting. He'll meet other family members who have the same fear (and who have heard the same stupid horror stories). He will also see many people who have gone through it quite successfully and are so much happier for it! Good luck. But the bottom line is that YOU are going through the surgery physically, not him. He has to learn to control his emotions and his fear.
   — Paula G.

May 2, 2000
I'd like to recommend a different tact than that of the other respondents: learn more about the "horror" story and use that knowledge to help him understand why that situation would not apply to you. He is clearly concerned, simply denying his concerns won't help. Let him know his concerns are valid, but refute them with analysis and logic. At the very least, you'll both find it an educational experience.
   — s M.