Question:
Wanting to know how others conquored their fear...

Yup, anonymouse again. :) Over my years of being obese and getting more-so, I've avoided doctors because it always seemed a waste of time. I also always avoided speaking of any weaknesses that I had and tried every way possible to hide or play down any problems my weight gave me. Now, to get my case back before the review board for my insurance, I have to tote out all the physical issues to a new doctor. I am so afraid. The last time I tried to do this I ended up crying in the doctors office and so emotionaly wrought up that I was unable to speak. Did anyone else do this? Hide and pretend? If so, how did you find the courage to trot the issues into the light? Any help or words of wisdom would be muchly appreciated :) Thank you!    — [Anonymous] (posted on August 5, 1999)

August 4, 1999
after continuosly gaining weight, i too avoided dr's. i did not want to hear their tired old lecture "you need to lose weight you don't know the risk you are in being this heavy" (i weighed 306 pre-op). then i started avoiding everyone including my family. i was very ashamed of how i look . when i saw a commercial that was exactly what i was going through i found the courage that i needed to do something. if you cry in a dr.'s office tell them why you are crying, tell them how you have tried only to fail. DON'T let them talk you into taking pills (tell them its against your religion if you have to). the courage comes from determination. how bad do you want this surgery? keep thinking of that and how you will look after it!!:) that is what kept me going until they approved me. i went through 4 dr's and was finally approved a year later. now that i've had this surgery i'm starting to feel better about myself. i no longer hide in fear of my size. i hope this helps. keep up the fight and good luck!!!!!!
   — deborah H.

August 5, 1999
Just bite the bullet and tell all. I started out lying to every doctor about my "LACK OF SYMPTOMS". I even lied to the bariatric surgeon, until he very gently told me that if I had these symptoms (i.e. reflux, pain in my feet, low exercise tolerance, chest pain, sleep apnea, depression, back pain, knee pain, indigestion, shortness of breath, hypertension, diabetes), that they were among the criteria deciding in favor of weight loss surgery. I was still to hard to me to admit, and when I went to the GI doctor for the endoscopy, I denied that I had reflux (even knowing that I had on many a night, laid awake for hours and hours with burning and discomfort). The GI doctor told me he could not do the endoscopy unless I had a symptom. Since I had to have the endoscopy before I could have the WLS, then, and only then would I admit that I had the symptoms. When there is absolutely nothing you can do to control your weight, there is no use acknowledging your obesity symptoms and there is all the reason in the world to hid them from every well-meaning relative, every not-so-well-meaning 'friend' and all the other busybodies trying to tell you to stop eating. But this is a different situation. For the first time in your life, you have within your grasp, the ability to control your weight. Go for it. Do what you have to do. One thing that will make it easier though, is if you can go to a doctor who is professionally doing business with your intended bariatric surgeon. These doctors are more educated as to obesity problems (from their prior dealings with the bariatric surgeon) and they are less likely to be judgmental and condescending. I, for one, noticed that not all the nurses at the hospital were sympathetic or even empathetic. But remember, this will be your last humiliation. It will all improve from this point onward.
   — Deborah L.