Question:
Wanting to know how others conquored their fear...

Yup, anonymouse again. :) Over my years of being obese and getting more-so, I've avoided doctors because it always seemed a waste of time. I also always avoided speaking of any weaknesses that I had and tried every way possible to hide or play down any problems my weight gave me. Now, to get my case back before the review board for my insurance, I have to tote out all the physical issues to a new doctor. I am so afraid. The last time I tried to do this I ended up crying in the doctors office and so emotionaly wrought up that I was unable to speak. Did anyone else do this? Hide and pretend? If so, how did you find the courage to trot the issues into the light? Any help or words of wisdom would be muchly appreciated :) Thank you!    — [Anonymous] (posted on August 5, 1999)

August 5, 1999
Hi anon. Please don't feel badly about your situation. Many overweight people (especially women) avoid doctors and their questions because of poor treatment. Unfortunately some doctors (not all, thank God) go into treatment with a poor attitude against fat people, blaming all of their ailments on the weight and disregarding other more pertainant issues. This seems to happen more to women than to men which is unfortunate. In my humble opinion, for your situation,it seems the best way for you to be able to provide full disclosure of your medical issues is to first find a compassionate doctor; a weight loss surgeon who understands that your problems are not ALL your fault. You need to find a doctor that you can be comfortable with, and through that comfort you will have less difficulty explaining all of your issues. This is not easy of course, but remember: You are the client and the doctor is working for YOU, so you have a right to proper and compassionate treatment, and you DON'T have to settle for anything less. Give this new doctor a chance, and if he makes you feel badly or treats you poorly, FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR!!! That is your right! Keep trying until you find the right one. You need to provide full disclosure of your issues for your insurance company so that your WSL can be approved, and hiding only does YOU a disservice in the end by delaying or denying the services that you need. Find that comfort zone for yourself by finding the right doctor, and don't give up until you find the right one! Good luck, and let us know what happens OK?
   — Frank W.