Question:
Am I a Failure
I need help I'm 7 weeks out -40lbs I have not seen a nutritionist & I don't know what eat. I have eaten almost everything. I have slacked off on the protein & drink only coffee. I graze on cashews & pretzels, the only meal I eat regular is dinner. Is it possible for me to succeed this way? I know this is not a good attitude but I am stuck at home very depressed (on meds) & I just cant seem to get with it. Has anyone Else broke the rules & did their own thing & still lost weight. This surgery is not at all what I expected I thought I would no longer be hungry & it would have been easier please help I don't want to fail. — Kelly A. (posted on July 22, 2004)
July 22, 2004
Hi Kelly, For the first 6 months you'll lose weight pretty much no matter
what you do as the volume is so limited. For the long term though, you
can't do your own thing, get to goal, and stay there. As you've heard
before I'm sure, this surgery is only a tool. You have to use it. Get to
the doc and get something for the depression. After that, the task of
re-learning your eating habits will probably not seem so overwhelming.
Don't lose your chance! Good luck :) Linda
— mom2jtx3
July 22, 2004
Kelly Ann - please see a doctor about your depression and to possibly
adjust your meds. You might not be absorbing them depending on which WLS
you had. Additionally, our hormones are wacky early post op with the fast
weight loss and this might also be affecting your depression. Your hunger
could be caused by several things: get more protein in so you will be
fuller faster and stay full longer and you can heal properly. Carbs-you
don't need pretzels at this point. They will cause you hunger and cravings.
Water-you don't mention water but make sure you are getting in around 64oz
per day. This will also help with hunger. If you make these changes and are
still hungry, see your surgeon to make sure you don't have mechanical
problems. Exercise? This may help you with your depression to get your body
moving. Make sure you are taking your vitamins. Also, a 40 pound loss in
nearly 2 months is wonderful. I started as a heavy weight and lost 50 in 2
months - about the same as you. Can you succeed the way you are going? You
may get to goal, but in my opinion you could have a hard time maintaining
the loss. Now is the time to learn good eating habits while the weight is
falling off so that when the weight loss slows, you already have good
habits in place. Finally, WLS is a huge change in your life - do you have a
support group you could attend? I hope I've helped you. I wish you the
best.
— Yolanda J.
July 22, 2004
Wow, I am suprised you lost so much not drinking any water. You are on
track for weightloss. What you need to do now is go to a nutritionist. We
can tell you the generals: you must eat a minimum of 60 grams of protein a
day and drink 64 oz of water. This is just to ensure that the weight you
lose is fat and not muscle. Remember it is not about losing weight. You
can lose all the weight then die because you are not eating any protein.
You feel hungry because you are not eating right. It is your body's way of
communicating. If you eat protein you won't be as hungry. Eat the kind of
protein you like. Eat food you like that are high in protein. You don't
have to do zero carbs like people do on here.
ie. For breakfast I had 1 cup cottage cheese on 2 rice cakes with raisins.
Not low carb at all. You are newer post op, so you should do less food
obviously.
You can lose how you want, you can eat what you want. But you will get
sick if you are not careful. I eat very healthy and at 1 year out was
diagnosed with anemia, mainly because of 2 reasons: 1) I prefer cheese to
meats 2) I drink tea during the day.
Coffee and tea have tannic acid which inhibits iron absorption. Drink a
cup in the morning before eatnig if you can't stop drinking it cold turkey.
But remember, for every cup of coffee you drink, you need to counter it
with a cup of water and still get in you 64 a day.
— mrsmyranow
July 22, 2004
Hi Kelly,
I have been where you are, but the opposite side of it. I was afraid to
eat anything that I liked prior to surgery because I thought it would
trigger something in me to get back into my old eating habits. I really
didn't pay much attention to the protien and water, but because of my fear
of eating other foods, looking back, I got them all in. Maybe not what I
should have each day, but a good amount of it. I seemed to be satisfied
with low fat cottage cheese, yoghurt, and would usually have a Lean Cuisine
TV Dinner at night. I was more into the calorie counting than paying
attention to what I was eating. I think that in the long run (I am 1 year
and one month post op....down 130 lbs), I would not have had to work so
hard on taking the weight off if I had followed a higher protien/water
intake. I made the mistake of not joining any support group, and thinking
that all I had to do was depend on the "tool", follow sensible
eating habits, etc. When I found this site, I was so humbled and excited
that I could finally find some guidance and understanding with what I was
dealing with. I am on track now with better eating habits....no more
denying myself the things that I love to eat, but I do it sensibly and
portion controlled. I have also used Dr. Phil's Weight Management Book
(even tho the man thinks this surgery is a quick fix, which I want to bang
him on the head for constantly saying on his show), it does teach the right
way to eat..not a diet, but a change in overall habits for a lifetime, not
for a goal.
Good luck to you....get on track now that you still have that window of
opportunity open to do so...it is sooooooo worth it!!!!! I was able to
discontinue all diabetic meds (was on 3 pills and 100 units of insulin
daily), have cut my blood pressure med from 100 mgs a day to 25, and am
just feeling better all the way around.....and I had a second diagnosis of
breast cancer in the middle of all of this, went through a bilateral (both)
mastectomy, and in the process of reconstruction work at present. Still
feel good, and probably could not have bounced back from the cancer the way
I did had I still been at my top weight and old eating habits.
My Best,
Dorrie
— DorrieB
July 22, 2004
Kelly, it is normal to feel depressed at just 7 weeks out. It is the rapid
release of hormones that happens when you lose weight rapidly. This will
pass. You can also ask your doctor to adjust your medications to get you
thru this period-please do so, there is no need for you to feel depressed.
And why are you stuck at home?? Can't you get out and walk? Get some
exercise, find someone to walk with, join a gym. As for what to eat,
didn't your surgeon give you an eating plan to follow? If not, contact his
office and ask for one. I can tell you what I was eating at 7 weeks out.
Always eat protein first for every meal. Scrambled eggs and cheese for
breakfast, tunafish/chicken/shrimp/crab salad over crackers, deli meats
over a salad, or 1/2 a meat sandwich on whole grain bread for lunch.
Dinner was a grilled or broiled piece of fish/chicken/meat with a small
portion of veggie, or homemade chili. If it was a Lean Cuisine, I would
not eat the carb since I had had carbs for lunch. Snacks included fresh
fruit, nuts, protein bars and shakes, popcorn. Eat when hungry, but choose
well. Eat small portions and drink a ton of water. 1 cup of coffee is OK
but you have to get in your water. Why did you have this surgery?? You
must change your attitude to succeed at this. You can only get away with
breaking all the rules and losing weight for a short period of time before
it will catch up to you. I have a motto and that is JUST DO IT. No
excuses, just do it. Get in your protein, exercise, water and vitamins and
you will succeed. Your doing well, but you have a long way to go. We can
advise you all day long but you must find the strength to take control.
Your not a failure, just off track, so get back on track and just do it.
— Cindy R.
July 22, 2004
Kelly Ann: I agree with the other posters. Please concentrate on getting
in your proper protein (try for 60 grams a day), and make sure you get your
fluids in. I didn't always like drinking water at first, so I used Crystal
Lite for a lot of my fluids. Make sure you're taking your recommended
vitamins, too. If your doctor doesn't have an eating plan, please set up
an appt with a nutritionist/dietician. As to the weight loss, you could
probably eat just about anything and still lose weight at this stage of the
game. But the point is you want to remain healthy, so that requires proper
eating and supplementation. Please don't take risks with your health. Our
systems are altered and we need to deal with those changes and learn what
will keep us healthy and feeling good. Best wishes. I hope you'll be
feeling better soon, and I think you will if you get into the right eating
regimen. Lap RNY 9/11/03, 270/165/???
— Carlita
July 23, 2004
Kelly Ann~ the previous posters are giving you valuable, common sense
information. Does some of what has been said here sound familiar? Are they
saying things that you know, but are choosing not to do? Many of us became
MO for 'reasons unknown'. Well, honestly, many of us became MO because we
felt victimized and not in control of our own lives. I know that I acted
out be eating - I certainly had control of that, even tho' I always claimed
that I didn't. I certainly chose those high fat comfort foods, high carbs,
easy to get at, good tasting. Why spend an hour cleaning fresh veggies,
steaming them, seasoning a nice piece of fish/chicken/meat, cooking it
properly, etc. when cheese and crackers (often a whole box) would do just
as well? It is obvious to me looking back at my pre-op attitude that I
didn't feel that I deserved my own attention. Now, post-op, as soon as I
feel that 'I don't have time' attitude, I turn it around and turn it around
FAST. I am the only person that I will be around during my entire life. My
DH may be at my side but I don't know that. I KNOW that I am it. I am the
one that will choose to take care of me or I will choose not to take care
of me. I am completely EMPOWERED to make that decision, whether good or
bad. This is personal accountability. This is not victimization. This is
LIFE. You can choose to sit on the sidelines, make excuses and not get
involved with making your life better. HOWEVER, this is still your choice.
Life is not happening to you. YOU must get involved with your life, take it
in your hands and work with it. This surgery is LIFE ALTERING. There is
nothing small about it, especially when embraced. I had EXTREME
complications after surgery. I spent over 3 months with tubes going in/out
of me, incisions, daily home health care visits, not being able to
eat/drink ANYTHING, etc. When I finally was able to start working the
program, I was so excited. However, I found that I was supersensitive to so
many foods, sometimes from breakfast to lunch, I could no longer eat the
same foods. While it was frustrating, I could not choose to give up. I
could have used it as an excuse and just eat fudgesicles or something like
that. I am not going to enable myself into on early grave or wheelchair.
Instead, I gradually weaned myself away from "just getting in
calories" to eating balanced and getting in calories. It was work and
effort and I had to completely commit to staying aware of my choices. I
still have to stay completely aware of my choices. I recommend tracking on
fitday.com. I work hard on getting in over 100oz. of water a day, I work
every day to reach the 60 g of protein each day (it is hard, I don't do the
drinks) and I concentrate on getting in all of the vitamins (the biggest
challenge because you can't take certain vitamins/minerals within 2 hours
of each other because they can cancel each other out). Am I perfect every
day? HARDLY! I don't know if I have ever had a perfect day in every
category. So what? Am I striving and working hard? YES! As long as I can
ask and answer that question positively, than I am successful. This is not
a race. There is no finish line that you only have 'x' number of minutes to
get there. This is your journey. Your journey only ends when you do. It is
up to YOU how you will travel throughout your life. You can sit on the
sidelines and make excuses OR you can get involved in your life (scary for
some us, I know) and accept that life is about disappointments as well as
accomplishments. Life is filled with ugly warts and beautiful flowers.
Embrace it all. After all, this is what we have. Good/bad, ugly/beautiful,
stupid/smart, etc. Challenge yourself every day to do the best things for
yourself that you can. You are the only one that can do it. Have faith in
yourself. Give yourself a hug every day. Stay honest with yourself. Stay
reading about our illness and get to know what your triggers are. Remember,
this is your journey. Do with it what YOU choose. Jodie Lap RNY 05-02-03
336/158/???
— Jodie P.
July 23, 2004
You can not 'break all the rules' or 'do your own thing' and still succeed
at this surgery in the long run. I suspect that you already know that.
Since you know that what you're doing/eating is wrong, I also suspect that
you know at least a LITTLE about what is RIGHT. Yet, you choose not to do
it. It's no miracle that you have lost so far. You are starving
yourself. Not only is what you are doing unhealthy, against doctor's
orders and unwise, it's also VERY self destructive. If your still very
depressed and on meds, then they're not working for you. Medicine alone
can not always 'cure' or control depression. And, it certainy isn't doing
anything for your self destrcutive behavior, is it? YOU NEED TO GET
YOURSELF TO A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WHO CAN ASSIST YOU ITH YOUR BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION AND DEPRESSION, NOW. Am I saying this loudly enough for you
to hear me? If you do not, you will fail. That is the sad truth. Tough
love, but true. YOU CAN DO THIS, BUT YOU MUST TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS TO
GET HELP. Good luck to you. I'l be praying for you.
— LMCLILLY
July 23, 2004
While you may be in the process of failing - you are NOT a failure. Coming
here to ask for help is a step toward success. You've already been given
all the nutritional advice you need so I won't belabor that point. What I
will say is this...........you've been given a wonderful gift and you are
choosing not to use it. There are thousands of people who would love to
have the same opportunity you have. Realize how fortunate you are! You've
taken the first step by coming here - now take the second step and follow
the advice you've been given. If you do that - you won't be hungry and you
will be successful. If you were looking for the easy way out - you haven't
found it. It still requires effort and motivation on your part. If you
continue to "do your own thing" you will be unhealthy and the
depression will only worsen. Take that second step today and do what you
know is right and you will surely reap the rewards of success.
— ronascott
July 23, 2004
You won't make it if you continue this. After the first six months it WILL
catch up with you. As far as always being hungery, there is a VERY good
reason for that. Carbohydrates make some of us go EXTREMELY HUNGERY!
Occassionally I like a bowl of cereal. I can NOT eat it in the morning or
I'll be stark raving hungry and eat anything in site all day. However I can
eat it for supper. So stop the carb binging. Carbs turn to sugar and then
later the sugar high drops and the hunger sets in for more carbs which
raise the sugar, which then drops, cravings set in for more carbs
which..... you get it... it's a circle. A vicious cirlce. Ditch the carbs.
Eat more protien, drink more water. See a nutriciantist to get back on
track. Good luck.
— Danmark
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