Question:
I am 3 year post op and suddenly have NO sex drive

My poor boyfriend thinks I must be cheating on him (HA, since I don't want it AT ALL). I thought of looking into avlimil, but don't know anyone that has taken it. Right after surgery, my sex drive was phenominal, I wanted it at least 4 times a week. Now, I don't care if I have sex at all. My BF is trying so hard to be understanding, but he is really suffering and I fear that this may be the reason he leaves me. As he says, we all have the need for physical intimacy. I don't want to just lay there either, I would much rather be a wanting and willing participant. I miss the intimacy that we once shared, but I just don't hae any interest. Any ideas or suggestions? Thanks all.    — enjo4 (posted on December 29, 2003)

December 29, 2003
Hi Erin: Don't have an answer for you, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. If you find out an answer would you please let me know too? I talked to my gynecologist the other day and he said there's a cream you can put on your genitals that might increase your sex drive. I don't know the name. Is that what avlimil is? I think the cream is testosterone but I'm not sure. Good luck getting an answer. Sherry
   — sherry hedgecock

December 29, 2003
Just wanted to let you know not to waste your money on avlimil.... its not worth waiting on the mail truck for! My sex drive is getting a LITTLE better, but before I had surgery, I had NONE... I could still live with out it I think.... its getting a little better though. I wish there was an easy answer. Best of luck!
   — rebecca J.

December 29, 2003
I have this problem and have seen my doc. She ran tests since it's sometimes hormonal, but they came back OK. She did prescribe the testosterone cream, and this did bring my drive back, but seemed to make me anxious, so I've stopped it for now. Depression also can cause low libido. I would check with your doctor.
   — mom2jtx3

December 29, 2003
Don't bother with Avlimil! Waste of money and the pills are horse pills that smell like garbage. I used them for three months straight and saw maybe a 1% increase. You're not alone. I wish I had an answer for you. My husband gets discouraged with me too. I'm just perfectly content without it! hee, hee Good luck!
   — stacey L.

December 30, 2003
Erin honey, it was so good to see your name again. I've been gone for some time now. Sweetie, this surgery can sometimes play havoc with your hormones. Certainly, your GYN would know what to put you on to help this but I can honestly tell you that your orig surgeon probably doesn't have an answer for this. I promise that it's not YOU, but your hormones inside you. I guess I have a question for you. Right after surgery, did you miss periods? Or have them irregularly at times? That's all hormonal and now your body has finally settled hormonally. Possibly, it has left you with a lower "libido" then before. Hormones might help but give them time. As you know, sometimes, WLSers need different doses then "regular" folks. A normal dose for one may not work for you. Discuss this with the GYN. Of course, one of my many problems is age which you don't have LOL. At 45 things start to be alittle different anyway. As for BF, honey, there are many times when many of us have let's say, ummm no interest in the physical aspects of love. It happens to both men and women (men don't want to admit that though). There are so many other ways to be intimate with him and if you are up front and honest with him about the causes, how can he not love you and support you if you are trying to change the circumstances? You are such a beautiful person. Please though, discuss the possibility of different doses of hormone with your GYN. Also, I don't know if you are on antidepressants but if so, they too can cause this. Possibly changing meds could help. Just my 2 cents and hugs and love, Barb
   — Barbara H.