Question:
The Easy Way Out
alot of people posted that they have had people tell them that they were taking "the easy way out". the next time someone says that you are taking the easy way out, why not ask them WHY they think it is the easy way out. and wait to hear what they have to say. i mean really listen to their answer. now they might start going off on how all you need to do is eat less and you should workout and that you don't need surgery. tell them you don't want to talk about that part at the moment , that you would really like an answer to how it is "the easy way out". be calm and don't speak untill they have finished. that way you really are listening to one another instead of each of you trying to prove their point over the other. some of their answers will shock you. remember we have studied about this surgery and still are learning every single day. they might even say that the surgery itself makes you lose the weight and you don't have to do anything at all. also alot of people are unaware that there are eating restrictions. just because you say you can't eat high fat and sugary foods, they might not know that it will make you very very sick if you do. some people are under the impression that the fat just "jumps" off your body without any work from you what so ever. tell them you are the one who has to make good food choices and you are the one that has to workout. after you explain this they will do one of two things. the first is to understand that this is NOT the easy way out. the second is that they really won't hear a word you say and tell you that you need to just diet and workout, and if that's the case don't even bother to argue. let the results speak for themselves. when they see you are getting healthy resist the temptation to shove it in their face IF they are people you care about. because even when they see that the changes are for the better they might be too embarrased to admit they were wrong. those people who didn't support you in the begining might become your biggest supporters. you will need support for the rest of your life not just 1 or 2 years postop. just my two cents! — franbvan (posted on August 9, 2003)
August 9, 2003
Hey... I felt sometimes in the beginning, that I had taken the
"easy" way out... but you know, it IS THE HARD WAY!! The easy way
would have been to continue like I was, eating myself to death. This is the
HARD way... and I am quick to dispell any thoughts or mention of
"easy" ways! LOL!! Sometimes, there is no other way BUT the hard
way! :~)
— Sharon m. B.
August 9, 2003
First of all, this surgery is not the "easy way out" we all know
it is a lot of hard work and necessary for our health. However, I want to
know why the "easy way out" is so wrong. How many of those who
say that, do things in their every day life to make it easier in some way.
Remember, we used to wash our clothes on a rock, why isn't the washing
machine the "easy way out"? If there was such a thing that would
get the fat to jump off of me, without me having to work so hard for it, I
would be the first in line!!!!! and I suspect so would all of the people
telling you it is the easy way out. Is it the easy way out if I have heart
bypass surgery instead of just not eating high cholesterol foods? Of course
not, cardiac disease has many factors involved and so does obesity. I would
like to see obesity treated as a disease without so much discrimination.
After all, how many years ago was it when it was shameful to be an
alcoholic? You were weak willed etc.. Now it is a "disease" you
were prone to and you can get treated for it without someone telling you
that you should not take the easy way out and just stop cold turkey. Ok now
I put my two cents worth in, back to regular programming :).
— Debbie B.
August 9, 2003
Hi Fran- I have been lucky to have support from my family and friends. I
thought about, if I had to cross that "easy way out" bridge,
saying...."well for me, and thousands like me, it's not the easy way
out, but the ONLY way out." Good Luck :o)
— Mea A.
August 9, 2003
Or maybe you should just show them a picture of your innards being cut
twisted moved resewn stapled reattached shrunk and what ever else the doc
has to do. Alot of people mostly on my job have had that easy way out
adittude so I printed one of the many pictorials of the surgery being done
and I just whip out the picture show them this is done they then back up
look at me and never mention the easy way out again. Besides that my fellow
postee who said what is wrong with the easy way out, why can't we take the
easy way out I say AMEN.
And remember this the people who think your taking the easy way out are the
same people who complain when they have to squeeeeeeeze in next to you on
an airplane seat or a church pew or squeeeeeeeze past you in a movie
theater. So should these people opinions matter should they make us change
our minds should we even give them a thought NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!
— robinm
August 9, 2003
Hi Fran,
I guess I've been lucky with the support from family and friends. I've
only had one person to tell me that they will have to lose their weight the
"hard way". You know they are still large and to my knowledge
they've not even tried to lose the weight. I wonder if they really would
like to have the surgery but for one reason or another they can't. To have
the surgery was my choice - and it wasn't an easy one to make. I'm glad I
did and that's all that matters.
— lisab07
August 9, 2003
HI. DONT YELL AT ME. THIS HAS BEEN THE EASY WAY OUT FOR ME. I DIDNT
HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS AND THE WEIGHT HAS FALLEN OFF OF ME. THE HARD WAY
WAS THE TWENTY YEARS BEFORE MY SURGERY GOING THROUGH DIET AFTER DIET SINCE
FIRST GRADE AND BEING A COMPLETE FAILURE MY ENTIRE LIFE. IT WAS THE
NAME-CALLING AND STARING AND RESTRICTIVE LIFE I LEAD. SO FOR ME, THIS HAS
BEEN THE EASY WAY OUT AND I AM GREATFUL EVERY DAY FOR IT.
— christina K.
August 9, 2003
I don't regret this surgery even though I have had complications.For me
this is definately not the easy way out.I'm only 8 weeks out so I can only
hope and assume that it does get better.Yes I am thrilled with the
weightloss so far but the hard part for me is that I am an emotional eater
and I can't just go off this "diet" for a day and eat a ton of
something comforting.My head and my stomache are not on the same page
anymore.When someone says this is the easy way out my response is
"what's easy about forced behavior modification?"
— jennifer A.
August 9, 2003
Hi Christina, I also have had an exceptionally easy surgery, no pain or
complications. But I don't consider it the easy way out, simply because we
put our life on the line just having it done.
— faybay
August 9, 2003
Christina, I agree with Fay. I've been blessed to have a complication free
first year. The hard part really begins in the maintenance phase. That's
when you wake up and realize it isn't going to stay off forever without you
doing some work and making some real effort.
— Anna L.
August 10, 2003
Easy way out !!! No way this was the ONLY WAY OUT of a life of obesity for
me.
— charanewme
August 10, 2003
I read on the message board the other day that you should say, "if
your house was on fire would you go out the locked window or the open front
door?" Sorry I don't know who wrote the quote, but I thought it was
brilliant. So whoever you are, I give you props!
The easy way out. No one has said it to me because I work at a very PC
place where many employees have had it done and my friends/co-workers see
first hand that it is not easy.
— mrsmyranow
August 10, 2003
This one always slays me. Nobody, but nobody, looks to accomplish anything
the hard way just for the sake of doing so. Puritans went out of style
some time ago. ;-) What you want is a job done right, and successfully.
If that takes hard work, then do it; if it's something you can bang out in
five minutes without much trouble, and get it done right that way, then do
that. Wasting time and effort to do something the hard way, especially if
it's time-consuming, counterproductive, and stupid, isn't the way to go
with *anything*. I'd be willing to bet that every one of those putzes who
suggests you're taking the easy way out takes the easy way out of a lot of
things in an average day. Didja drive through the carwash last weekend or
wash the car yourself at the curb with a hose and a sponge? Carwash??
Ooooo...*you* took the EASY way out! Did you cook every meal you ate from
scratch, or buy frozen/go microwave/hit the fast-food circuit? Oooooo!
*You* took the easy way out! Sheesh. Trust me -- people who use this
phrase are as full of it as any of us, and while you can craft all kinds of
responses, is it really worth the time?
— Suzy C.
August 11, 2003
This is NOT the easy way out. First of all, your having MAJOR surgery and
because the fact you are more then 100 pounds overweight already puts you
at risk when you have the surgery. After surgery, the recovery is NOT fun
and you can't eat the things you used to. Your WHOLE life will be changed
forever. Your body will change forever. Let these people suffer from
diarrhea, nausea, vomiting at a moment's notice and see if they think
that's the easy way out!! Highly doubtful that they could live this sort
of life!!
— Patty H.
August 12, 2003
I happen to agree with Christina: For me this WAS the easy way out! It sure
as heck is easier than dieting over and over again to gain weight. Easier
than lugging an extra person around with me everywhere I go. Easier than
being on the outside of life looking in. Easier than being the fattest
mommy in my daughters class. Easier than being at the mercy of food. Easier
than getting progressively sicker and sicker until I finally die from my
obesity.<p>Did the surgery hurt? Yes, but it was temporary. As was
the liquid diet (which also sucked). But I still think it was the easy way
out compared to the alternative. And do I think I am the smartest person in
the world for taking advantage of the only proven method for losing my
excess weight and maintaining that loss (a.k.a. "the easy way
out")???? You bet your sweet bippie I do!!!
— ctyst
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