Question:
Wife joined gym never goes:(
My wife joined the gym but has only gone a few times and none since january. She gets little exercise and avoids even walking when she can.<P> Now she tells me she wants to join curves. I really dont care except the waste of money. The gym shes a member of has water erobics and other nice stuff. Would curves be any different? I fear she will regain the weight, as is she is a long way from goal and never followed the post op plan. We both had surgery and I got to goal after working at it. I fear she will regain and get ill again. Today her BMI is high enough to still qualify for surgery. I love my wife very much and want to help! — Sam J. (posted on July 16, 2003)
July 15, 2003
Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do to help your wife with
not following the postop plan. Wish there was an al-anon type group for us
WLS people, for much like an alcoholic, you are not responsible for her
health or losses/gains. If you can afford it, I say support her decision
to go to curves - but I'd suggest a "trial" there first - I've
read they do that. Then you don't have a lot of money out of pocket if she
decides she doesn't like it. Part of the reason she MAY not be going to
her fancy gym is body image. Women really HATE to sweat and throw their
bods around in front of sleek women and that's typically what one finds in
gyms. Curves (kind of like the old Women At Large) has a larger group of
full figured women so her body image doesn't take the huge stomping it
might at the other place. Keep on loving and supporting her Sam and good
luck to you both!
— [Deactivated Member]
July 15, 2003
Hi Sam- How about showing her this posting and the answers you will
receive? Your post shows that you are concerned about her health in a
loving way, NOT about her appearance. Many of us would be thrilled to
receive that type of support. :o) Good Luck to you both! Mea
— Mea A.
July 16, 2003
Hi Sam,
I think I would encourage her to join curves if you can afford it. It
may make the difference she needs. We all know that it takes a lot of
motivation to do what we should every day. Or, maybe even better, you could
join her at the gym. I had a friend that walked with me every day. We were
walking 4 miles a day. She moved away. Guess what? I quit walking all
together. A little motivation goes a long way..Granted, I am only 1 lb from
goal but I still need exercise..Good luck..Remember always, encourage her,
but don't nag her, that will only make it worse..
— Sharon1964
July 16, 2003
I dont know your wife but if she doesnt go to the gym i doubt she would go
to curves.My suggestion is ....go WITH her to the gym. make it a couple
deal maybe she will enjoy it more..Good luck
— Kathy S.
July 16, 2003
Your wife may feel uncomfortable in a regular gym, Curves caters to a
diferent clientele. If she feels more comfortable she may be more motivated
to go. Continue to support her, Good luck .
— Ponselle E.
July 16, 2003
Hi Sam-I am a former "joined the gym and never went" person. I
tended to overwhelm myself with the amount of time I had to spend at the
gym (1 hour class plus treadmill, weights, for an hour!), then make excuses
for not having that amount of time. It was so self sabotaging! I joined
curves and go because its only a 30 minute work out and its all women. You
move quickly so you tend not to get bored and the music is upbeat. I enjoy
it, feel really great, and actually GO! They say 3x per week and that is
reasonable to me! It works out to 10 dollars per week (its 40 per month
here) and to make up for it, I have been bringing my lunch to work. The
only thing that stinks are the hours! Mine closes at 7:30p and you have to
be there one half hour before the closing for your workout. I wish it was
open longer....
Good luck!
Natalie
— majorcat
July 16, 2003
I wanted to join with here. She said NO as I would turn it into a
competition. I admit I would of tried to get us both going! I did go as a
guest once or twice with her. The place definetely isnt a meat market. Lots
of overweight people trying to improve themselves. Its less than 5 minutes
from home and water erobics is just a hour. <P> My wife gets little
exercise its so sad.
— Sam J.
July 16, 2003
I wanted to join with here. She said NO as I would turn it into a
competition. I admit I would of tried to get us both going! I did go as a
guest once or twice with her. The place definetely isnt a meat market. Lots
of overweight people trying to improve themselves. Its less than 5 minutes
from home and water erobics is just a hour. <P> My wife gets little
exercise its so sad.
— Sam J.
July 16, 2003
Ah, yes, good intentions. I say if you have a membership to a gym, don't
waste the money on Curves. She probably won't go. As for spending a lot
of time at the gym - I walk our Rottie every night - about an hour. That
means the time I work out at the gym is less because I don't do a lot of
the cardio stuff, just the weights. As far as any exercise program,
including walking, one needs to start out slowly. No one who is out of
shape should expect to start out walking 1 mile or more every day. When I
did Optifast, we had to walk 7 minutes 3-4 times a week the first week.
Not much, but a place to start. Maybe you could create a graph and plan
for her (and you) to start walking. Once she starts doing it on an ongoing
basis and sees how much better she feels, it may become a habit. (Plan on
at least 3 weeks to establish a habit of exercise.) My DH is kind of the
same way. I had surgery in October 2002, and started walking right away,
and continued through the winter and still do. My husband walks with me
once in awhile. (He had surgery in April.) Our PCP even told him last week
it was time to start working - while he is still in the honeymoon
period!)The other component here may be some depression. She has watched
you reach goal and may feel like there is no use in trying. My husband
really lost weight much faster than me, even though his starting BMI was
lower! Not fair!And I'm the one doing the consistant exercise. It really
might help to get her on an antidepressant first. Good luck!
— koogy
July 16, 2003
I joined the gym, and never went and I also joined Curves and never
went.... she sounds like me; as she WANTS to suceed but hates exercise.
She perhaps thinks joining these places will motivate her whereas sometimes
it puts more pressure to fail. I finally realized that the outdoors is
free, and if I want to exercise all it takes is me walking out that front
door. If the weather is bad, I could put in a tape. If I cannot do
something simple as that, then NO MEMBERSHIP will change it. If I do start
walking and subsequently stick to it, and show commitment, only then would
I allow myself another membership.
— Karen R.
July 16, 2003
I belonged to Curves AND I joined a regular gym (I go intermittently)..and
after working I often dont want to go for a walk..BUT, my DH wants to go
for a walk, so I go with him- how about setting up a "walking
date" with your wife- after hectic days, its a nice time to catch up-
— ~~Stacie~~
July 16, 2003
I have free access to a fitness center where I work. Yet I chose to pay to
join a Curves-type workout center. I never go to the fitness center, but I
do go to the workout center. The reasons are varied (I have to carry a
change of clothes to work to use the fitness center, for one thing), but I
think the primary reason that I do use the workout center is because it is
structured. You do a circuit of machines and aerobics with a definite
start and finish. At the fitness center, you just use whatever machines
you want to that are available at the time you are there. The structure of
the workout center circuit system is what makes that useable for me. If
your wife is a person who thrives on structure, she might do well with it,
too. However, it can be expensive to carry two memberships (at the gym and
Curves), so I'd assess her reasons on why she thinks she would use Curves
when she doesn't use the gym before committing to the expense.
— Vespa R.
July 17, 2003
Hi Sam!
I actually started working at a Curves almost 3 months to help me lose
weight until I can get the surgery. Personally, I love going there to work
out and its a wonderful atmosphere. The women that work there are all
average/overweight and help you as much as they can. The work out is only
30 minutes and that actually adds up to an hour and a half in a gym. The
machines she will work out on are all hydrolic and resistance. The harder
she works the machine, the more she works her muscles. There is normally
no pain to slight soreness. I think she would enjoy it because you work
every single muscle but you don't have to think of what machine to use
next. It's all set up for you and easy to learn. In most Curves, there is
a free week trial. Send her in for a free figure alaysis and a free tour.
Then have her ask for a free week. Normally its in the brochure. I hope
that helps! Keep Smiling!
— Stephanie @.
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