Question:
Anyone Feel the Same?

Hello all! I am hoping someone can help me with this. I had WLS in September of 2002 and I feel wonderful. If anyone asks how I lost weight, I tell the truth. I'm not ashamed of having WLS at all. A friend of mine has become interested in having the surgery, so next Saturday, I am going with her to the required informational seminar that my surgeon holds for prospective WLS patients. I have made it very clear to her that WLS is not as great as it seems......food restrictions, emotional issues, etc. I have also tried my best to make her understand that it IS surgery and there is a risk she could die. My problem is that if she does have the surgery, and something goes wrong, I feel that I will blame myself. My surgeon is excellent at making sure people know the risks, but it is because of me that she first became interested in having the surgery. Has anyone else experienced this? Please share your thoughts. Thanks!    — Jamie H. (posted on May 10, 2003)

May 9, 2003
My horror story. Wanda Smart called me one day and wanted to meet me and Jen my wife. We all had dinner at the olive garden. Wanda had backed out of surgery once and I became her inspiration:( She had nothing but trouble and nearly died. Spent a year in the hospital and rehab facilities. This is her sad story. I did mention the risks but honestly never expected such a outcome.<P>http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/status.phtml?N=S1007516003<P> I pray for her continued improvement. Honestly her hubby Jack said she would of died without surgery. Thats pretty common and was true of me too. But I havent been a angel since. I have had a newspaper article written about surgery, and encouraged lots of folks. But I always mention the dark side to anyone seriously interested. Bad things can and do happen. My surgeon fully informs of the risks! I had the same fears when Jen had her surgery. Now Jens dad is in pre op testing. I have settled in to the following. I present and encourage folks interested, but always mention that bad things can and do occur, and that they should discuss this with their surgeon. Ultimately its up to the individual to decide whats best for them. I nearly dropped out of everything WLS relatred over this. But then I see my successful friends who looked for guidance and encouragement before surgery. Those smiling happy healthy faces really helps a lot. Just dont sugar coat the possibilties.
   — bob-haller

May 9, 2003
I coordinate a support group and bottom line....Everyone has to make their own decision. You are not responsible for the outcome...that is God's department. Just be honest when asked questions and tell them to do the research and make an informed decision.
   — Oldsoul

May 10, 2003
I went through the same feelings as you a couple of months ago. A good friend of mine that is a co-worker and someone that I have know since I was 15 decided to have the surgery. I made sure to always emphasize the positive as well as the negative. And I also remind people that my results were not the normal. The average person will lose 65-70% of their excess body weight in a couple of years. I lost 100% in 6 months. I also tell them that this is a tool. And how well you use this tool can be up to you. Anyway I was at the hospital the day she had her surgery. I just about passed out when the surgeon said that she had one complication a leak. Everything turned out OK and she left the hospital in the normal amount of time. She is doing great now and I think she is down over 60 pounds. Good thing I had saved all of my clothes. I had every size from 24 to 6 to give to her.
   — Linda A.

May 10, 2003
I tell anyone that asks me about having the surgery that I will not recommend to anyone to have surgery. I'll give them info about this site and my surgeon's site, but I tell them that it is totally a personal decision that is not easy to come by, and a decision that should be made with as much info as possible. Being supportive and helping people find out things they need to know does not hold you responsible for any outcome, good or bad. We are all adults and decisions such as this are our own responsibility.
   — Marie R.

May 10, 2003
I'm sure she heard of WLS before you had it. Connie Wilson, Al Roker, etc...She just saw that you used your tool properly. The final decision is going to be made by here. She will attend the seminar and has the liberty to ask whatever questions she may have I'm sure. I'm sure she will make her own decision when the time comes. If anything goes wrong, you are not to blame. WLS success is governed on a case by case basis. Everybody's body is different. Do not feel guilty, you have no reason to. Just offer support and let her make her own decsion.
   — Shayla527

May 10, 2003
You are only the finger that points the way to the moon. She will have to decide on her own if she will make the journey or not. She will have to travel the road. In other words if your friend saw you with some item she wants and you tell her the directions to the store but warn her it is in a high crime area... would you be at fault if she was mugged along the way? You shouldn't feel responsible for the ultimate outcome of the surgery unless you garuntee/vouched that there are absolutely no risks. Just as you shouldn't feel responsible for her mugging after you told her that the store is in a high crime area and she decides to journey there nonetheless. <p>Take Care, Be Well, Be Happy!
   — John T.