Question:
Is there a male sex off drug, and is it safe?
My wife who I love very much has no libido at all. Were both posties out over a year. Its driving me nuts. I am turned on all the time. Is there something I can take to chill me out? Like a prescription drug? At least this way we would be the same. I love my wife very much. — Sam J. (posted on April 19, 2003)
April 19, 2003
Sam - has your wife seen a doctor about her low sex drive? There may be a
physical cause for it. The same hormone (testosterone) that is
responsible for the male sex drive also enhances the female sex drive...JR
— John Rushton
April 19, 2003
Is your wife taking any anti depressants? I've been on Paxil for a few
years now and one of the side effects is reduced libido.
— lorien
April 19, 2003
Hi Sam~ I heard there was a new drug out for women now that works on us the
same way viagra works on men. It might be worth talking to your PCP about
if your wife is interested. Good Luck.
— latrishanickle
April 19, 2003
She is on prozac, which can cause this. But honestly its way worse as a
post op. Two MOs as big as we were. Sex just physically didnt work well.
Too much excess flesh all around. Now that were smaller I thought it would
be better. She just isnt interested. I just wish I wasnt either. Life would
be a lot easier.
— Sam J.
April 19, 2003
Sam - I am in the same boat as your wife-my husband and I do continue to
have sex, but honestly I am just not interested, and asking him to go
without just would not work. I have been researching, there are alot fo
herbal drinks out there, but Ihesitate to put any of them in my pouch. So
I purchased Viva cream at GNC, it is a little pricey- $25 for two tubes-
but it seems to last awhile-
It does seem to help - It makes everything "all tingly"...
Good Luck- I know this can be tough- but "laying down and
dying"-as my husband put it- is not the answer either-
— ~~Stacie~~
April 19, 2003
I don't know how old your wife is but if there is a possibility of
perimenopause (I was in this in my mid 30s) or menopause, perhaps she can
take hormones with testosterone. I am still in peri at 46 and take
Estratest which is estrogen and testosterone. I'm not sure my estrogen is
high enough so I may need to go with straight estrogen pills and supplement
with testosterone cream. If she's not peri or menopausal she probably can
still get testosterone cream from her obgyn. I discussed these issues at
length with both my PCP and ObGyn and both seem to think that supplementing
with testosterone is the key (I am just reporting what they told me). I
have more breakouts with it but other than that, no side effects.
— susanje
April 19, 2003
Wife in very low 30s. Periods and such more normal, she has PCOS which
appears improved since weight loss.
— Sam J.
April 19, 2003
I was on prozac for awhile and it completely eliminated my sex drive. I
didn't even like being touched. I changed medications and it made a huge
difference.
— Laura K.
April 19, 2003
why not just go about it the all natural way and masturbate? that way when
you do have sex it will ummm be longer. also, have you thought about how
you approach your wife? i have been married 11 years and love my husband
very much., but he can be a true horn-dog! lol he can't just hug or kiss
me.....he has to fondle EVERYTHING. i love to have sex with my husband, but
sometimes it feels like a chore. we talked about it. i told him that when
he hugs me it turns me on...because i know he is hugging me because he
loves me. on the other hand when he hugs and fondles it seems like he is
only hugging to get sex.you know what i mean??? good luck!
— franbvan
April 19, 2003
Sam
There is someting that they give to males soemtimes -- salt peter?-- that
eliminates the sex drive, but I am not sure if it is still used. I agree
with the other posters who suggested the female version of viagra. Maybe
it's the hormone changes that many women experience after major weight
loss? Psychological issues? Best of luck to you and your wife!
— [Deactivated Member]
April 19, 2003
Women sometimes need alittle testosterone. Has to be with a doctors help as
to much, may make a man out of her.
(I know). lol
— Danmark
April 20, 2003
Hi Sam, The prozac is probably part of the problem, as you already know. I
have been taking paxil for years, and it has done the same thing to me. If
you don't take the meds, life sucks, and who wants sex then? So, I recently
talked to my doctor, after doing alot of research, and have been weening
off teh paxil, and started taking wellbutrin. It is helping. Also, my
husband and I ordered some creams to enhance the sexual stimulation. You
can order stuff from www.slumberparties.com. They have some great stuff.
GOOD LUCK! ~ Sandy
— Sandy H.
April 20, 2003
Thanks for all the good ideas. Yes sadly she doesnt like being touched and
even brushing her breast gets a leave me alone. I guess I feel rejected and
unable to please her. I have taken things into my own hand but feel guilty.
Months go by with no nookie:( So sad. I will encoiurage her to see about
changing to something other than prozac. Pre op I thought our sex lives
would be so great. Instead it went away.
— Sam J.
April 20, 2003
I can relate to the prozac, I was on it years ago, HATED to be touched,
sort of started hating my husband for a bit. Once I was off it about a
month things got MUCH better. My problem is that I have never found a drug
that doesnt affect my sex drive. I am on effexor and it has the least side
effect but it still reduces ALL sexual feelings. I just might try that
cream that was mentioned or maybe the "viagra" for women after
wls. Good luck to you and your wife sam.
— TheresaC
April 20, 2003
I also had this problem with paxil (very similar to prozac). I went from
very high sex drive to absolutely none. I tried a variety of
antidepressants because of this. I now take zoloft and don't have any
problems..but I think it does still cause sexual problems in some. She may
just have to try a few different ones .. but prozac and paxil are famous
for sexual side effects.
— sheltie
April 21, 2003
Sam,
Perhaps some of it isn't libido? What I'm getting at is I will be 2 years
out on May 8th. I still can not stand the weight of any of my many cats on
my stomach. (They are heart broke with my rejection). Any pressure there is
VERY
painful. Perhaps, if she is on the bottom....... it hurts? I don't know and
don't want to pry. It was just a thought. ;) Also, I know the depression
meds don't help ether. I've been on several kinds and from what I can see
they all do it. :( Even Welbutrin. I don't suppose lots
of cuddling and touching her hair and face would lite a fire? (The more
tender, gentle and slower, the better!) I won't say anymore as I don't
want to pry. I just know there is often a big difference in what arouse a
man than a woman. I've often wondered what God was thinking of when he made
man and woman to respond to sex so differently. Hmmmmm. What was he
thinking of? <scratching my head on this one>.
— Danmark
April 21, 2003
Interesting responses...I find it very interesting that your wife doesn't
seem to perceive that there is a problem that she is interested in doing
anything about. There is no medication that will reduce your libido, nor
should you take it if what you are experiencing is a normal sex drive. I
think the key is in your response about masterbating: stop feeling guilty
about it. You only have so many options and since cheating on your wife
isn't something you want to do and as a healthy normal human you need
sexual release, then masterbate away! Y'all may want to consider getting
some counseling to make sure you both are on the same page emotionally,
spiritually and physically. Since sex is a form of communication, and your
wife isn't interested in ANY of the foreplay or intercourse of sex, than
there may be more issues than just the side effects of her anti-depressant.
However, she must be willing to work on whatever is acting as a barrier to
her full healthy sexual self expressing. Good Luck to both of you!
— merri B.
April 21, 2003
She gets a nightly back rub as she falls asleep, and all the love and
affection I can provide without her complaining. Like neck kisses and
shoulder rubs. Boobies she says hurt if I even touch them. So its the
prozac. She has been on that for a long time without this reaction. She did
get a book about the problem. She doesnt like me masturbating, and caught
me once. Thanks for all the good ideas. I mentioned the prozac and she said
she would look into getting off it. Pre op sex was mostly a failure, and I
wonder if she is afraid of getting pregnant. Part A wasnt long enought to
fit part B.
— Sam J.
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