Question:
Has anyone had a friend or co-worker get a date before you?
I feel terrible about this, but I am so sad, I want to cry all the time. I have wanted this surgery for so long and back in Jan 2002 I made an appointment with Dr. Burleson in March. My boss asked for the surgeons name and I gave it to her. This whole time I have been active in support group and have had a variety of appointments to get insurance approval and she has "phoo-phoo'd" it all. She has the mind set that she will just have the surgery, lose weight and life will stay the same (she thinks dumping and it's ill effects are for the weak and that people are just babies) Anyway to get on with my question. I just found out that my paper work was turned into insurance and was so happy only to come into work today to find that her surgery date will be in 3 weeks. To her face I have been supportive and excited, but inside I am so sad!!! Why can't I just be happy for her? I knew one of us would go first and I tried to prepare for this, but I'm not doing well. Has anyone else experienced a friend or co-worker wanting surgery at the same time? — Dana B. (posted on May 2, 2002)
May 1, 2002
I know how you feel, however, I was the one who got her surgery date first.
I have a friend/co-worker who has been waiting since September last year,
going to the support group meetings, meeting with her nutritionist, etc.
etc. and her date is at the end of May. I have a different surgeon, who's
requirements weren't as strict prior to surgery, and I had my consult in
January, and my surgery on March 28, 2002. I felt so awful when I got my
surgery date - awful and thrilled - because I hated to tell her that I
would be going before her. I finally took her out to lunch one day and
talked to her about it. She was sad at first, but she has been wonderful
ever since! She was the first person to visit me in the hospital after my
surgery, and she called me every couple of days while I was home to check
up on me. AND...the best part is that she got a LOT of information from me
on my recovery and how I'm doing, so she's a little more calm about her
upcoming surgery! Hang in there...your date will be here sooner than you
think and you'll just those of us on the "losing" side of life!
Lisa
— sssuzie1
May 1, 2002
My cousin and I went to see our surgeon in September, the same day. I had
no trouble with my insurance co. and she did. Long story short, I had
surgery in November and she had hers in March. She told me she was happy
for me, but envious too. It's all water under the bridge now. Happy losing
from here on out!
— Cinna G.
May 2, 2002
I know exactly how you feel. i also have a coworker who had an appointment
with the surgeon 2 months after i did and is having surgery next week!! i
also believe she is doing it for the wrong reasons. i think she's doing it
as an easy way out. I work out on a regular basis, and she says she's
going to, but always backs out. I try to be supportive, but sometimes it's
hard. i guess i'm only human. Just try to be there for them as much as
you can tolerate.
— Tamara F.
May 2, 2002
Boy, do I understand. I have a friend here a work who I told about the
surgery and she is having her surgery on May 8th and mine won't be until
July. I am a little jealous but happy for her. She is seeing a different
surgeon and I am waiting for one that was recommended in Oxford, Ms (Dr.
King). Now she can be my guinee pig instead of me being hers. I am also
her angel, so that I can see her thru out the process...Good Luck and
remember everything happens for a reason. God Bless!!!
— Renee S.
May 2, 2002
I am sorry this is making you sad...please take care once you have the
surgery not to compare your progess too much to her's. (Unless, of course,
you are "winning". In that case you should flaunt it
shamelessly!) Good luck!
— rebeccamayhew
May 2, 2002
Extremely sore point for me. I went for my initial consult on 7/3/01. I
was told at that time that once insurance approved, it was approximately 2
months for my surgery date. I got approved by insurance on 8/9/01, and
wasn't even given a physical date until 9/17, and my date was 2/19/02!!! I
was very disappointed, but did get moved up to 2/8/02 because of a
cancellation. Then I got contacted by someone else going to my doctor, who
told me her consult was late Sept/early Oct, and her date was a day earlier
than mine, and at the hospital I practically begged to be at to boot! I
was livid that she got in sooner than me when her consult was about 3
months later. There really wasn't anything I could do about it tho, so I
just let it go. Unfortunately, that's probably the only thing you can do.
My sister also got her date a week and a day before mine (different
doctor), and her consult wasn't until 11/7. My suggestion is that altho
it's difficult, just let it go. It really won't help to fret over it.
— GGinMA
May 2, 2002
HOW ABOUT THIS? ME AND A GIRL THAT I'LL CALL MY FRIEND (ACTUALLY MY
SISTERS) WE BOTH HAD A CONSULTATION ON 3/6/2002
HER APPT. WAS AT 10 AM MINES AT 2PM WE DROVE TOGETHER THE DR. SAID WE WERE
BOTH GOOD CANIDATES AND AGREED TO HAVE HIS ASST. WRITE OUR LETTERS WELL SHE
IS ALREADY APPROVED AND HAS A DATE OF JULY 8 GUESS WHAT? I AM STILL WAITING
FOR APPROVAL!!!! SO I KNOW OKAY!!!
— Dia C.
May 2, 2002
omg!!!! i know how you feel i told my bestfriend about wls and how bad i
wanted it we she encourged me to get it done well my problem was i didnt
have any insurance so i joined my jobs plan it didnt go in to effect until
4/1/02 and i kept hearing how i wouldnt be approved because i had just
joined and no i didnt have any insurance b4 well anyway i kept talking
about wls and this site and telling her about everyone`s success and so on
well in spite of the fact that i didnt have any insurance i went to my
consult any way (it was free) now my friend decided she wants the surgery
and has her consult a week after mines now at this pon i`m a little
concerned she already has insurance and mine doesnt kick in till 4/1/02
sooo now i`m worried she hasnt done one lick of research but i`ve been
researching every day to the point of maddness well it just so happens that
our paper work got sent into the insurance company at the same time now i
have the added fear that she will get approved before me and yes i would
have been bitter she didnt even want the surgery until i told her that wls
could help me reach my goal weight she is 100lbs overweight and i`m 245lbs
overweight anyway i`m real nervous at this point i want her to have wls if
that`s what she realy wants ...just not b4 me lol ( petty aint it) wellll
to make a long story shot( to late...lol) our paperwork went in for
approval 4/7/02 i found out THAt I WAS APPROVED ON THE 17TH!!!!AND I HAVE A
SURGERY DATE FOR MAY 14TH!!!!! and as for my friend she is still waiting i
do hope she gets approved as long as it wasnt b4 me lol so i kinda know how
you feel.
— rochele1970
May 2, 2002
Long story short... Amie and I had our consultations a week apart (11th
and 18th) She waited 30 days for approval, I waited 32 weeks... same
insurance, same surgeon, and I was 200 lbs more than her. But... it
happens... Continue to be supportive of your friend, and know your day
will come :) good luck in your journey! :)
— Elizabeth D.
May 3, 2002
i know exactly how you feel. i have been researching this surgery for a
year and a half. my mother and my sister were totally against it (felt i
hadnt tried hard enough, gave me such a hard time) i saw the surgeon in
sept. and all my testing is done, but they wont even give try to give me a
date until i lose 5%of my weight, and now my sister decides she wants it
done and she got an appt with surgeon in two weeks (i had to wait 9 months)
and all her testing is done in one day (took 3 different visits) and they
gave her an estimate of not more than 2 months for surgey. i am soooo upset
i know exactly how you feel. i could never be an actress (its so hard to
try to be happy for her when im soo sad inside) but things will happen in
due time. goodluck
— jessica B.
May 6, 2002
Oh yes... I know how you feel!!! I researched and fought insurance for WLS
for a long time... I told a co-worker about it, and she decided it was a
good idea. Long story short, my insurance denied me (I was scheduled for
11/15/01) and she was approved and had surgery in December. It hurt... I
was happy for her, but secretly was sooo jealous!!! But, I switched
agencies and got approved finally. I'm two months behind her, and it's now
nice to have her to lean on when weird things happen to me!
— Michelle B.
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