Question:
This is a very humiliating question but
I heard that you can not leave the hospital until you have had a BM. I can reach now but barely. I feel like I will have a hard time bending after surgery and I can't imagine anything more humiliating than having to tell the nurse I can't wipe my own rear end. I figured at home I could always take a shower if I had a problem but what do I do in the hospital? I'm 5'2" and 335lbs can anyone my size or bigger help with this most delicate of issues? — [Anonymous] (posted on January 20, 2002)
January 20, 2002
I was 385 and 5-9. I had the same problem, so I went to a pharmacy that
specialized in adaptive devices and found a long curved plastic stick (made
to wash your feet) that I could wrap t-paper around and reach with. Many
other recomended a wooden spoon - but I thought the porous wood would not
be easy to clean if soiled.
— Michele W.
January 20, 2002
I was only in the hospital room for 24 hours after I got there, and I was
released! I had my leak test, and the doctor I used said I was free to go
home since I passed the leak test with flying colors! His philosophy is
the quicker you can get home, the better off you will be! I didn't have a
bowel movement before I left, but I didn't eat anything there either! Yes,
you will be sore when you get finished with the surgery and it is tough
reaching places. I used my bedroom bath tub and bought one of those shower
massage devices that connects to your shower head and has a long hose that
goes into the handle (where the water comes out!) I turned it on a gentle
spray and just used my bath tub/shower as a giant bidet! Don't get the
ports and dressings wet! Just do what you need too. Since you will be on
liquids for a while you will do fine with this method. Just be sure to get
some disinfectant spray to put in the tub! It makes you feel a little bit
better about doing it that way, but it is so much easier! After your
wounds heal, you will probably feel pretty close to how you felt
pre-surgery, and you can resume life normal again. Rejoice though! This
is as worse as it gets--it just gets easier and better as the days go by!
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
I am an RN and I work in a hospital. We only have jobs because their are
patients. We are there to serve you and make your surgery go easier in any
way we can. We wipe BUTTS, it is in our job description, right there
between the "clean up vomit and blood" clause. We are not
squimish or we would not be nurses. Nurses who work in Bariatric surgery
are QUITE familiar with wiping the patients rear-ends. Trust me, just ask
to be wiped. It's okay. You'll probably never see me again anyway and
I've already seen enough of you there is no need for modesty. I hope this
makes you all feel better. And my nurse friends BETTER remember this when I
am THEIR patient in a few months!!LOL.
— Connie M.
January 20, 2002
I think that this is an honest concern. You must take into consideration
the nurses deal with this all the time and will try their best to help you
without embarassing you anymore than thy have too.
— Sheri C.
January 20, 2002
At 401 it was an issue for me as far as just urinating. I did not have to
have a BM in the hospital. I could not reach to wipe myself because of the
huge incision. I was a nursing assistant and know that I was there to help
others just like me and I took a deep breath and just asked. It was not
bad at all. Once home by mom and my husband did the dirty work. I just
decided that I already did not feel good and the last thing I wanted was to
feel dirty. I got those wet roll wipes.. a great invention. I was able to
do all my own paper duty by 8 days post op!! I am forever indebted to my
mom and my husband... Good luck to you...
— Pamela W.
January 20, 2002
I, too, am an RN, and I had the same problem! Plus, add to that my period
started the day before surgery. Look -- it's no big deal. Really. I had
both male and female nurses and aides assist me, and everyone was so
easy-going about it. I took a lighthearted approach to the whole thing,
which really helped me cope. There was one aide who I'll never forget. He
was at least 6'4" and 200 lbs, very sweet man. When he came in to
answer my call light, I said, "Are you sure you don't mind wiping my
big white butt?" He laughed and said, "No problem, dear!"
I had to be readmitted several days later, and as they wheeled my gurney
from the ER to my room, he met me in the hall. He said, "Hey, I
remember you!" And I said, "Yeah. But now I can wipe my OWN
butt!" Just approach it with humor and you'll feel much better about
it.
— Joya K.
January 20, 2002
I'm not sure that a BM will be a requirement to go home. It's kind of
unrealistic to expect a post-op patient to be able to. Think about
this...you get totally cleaned out the night before surgery, then you are
put to sleep...which in turn puts your digestive tract asleep, after
surgery you probably won't have anything by mouth until your leak test, on
top of that, the pain medication slows your digestive tract down. The
nurses will listen to your belly for bowel sounds as part of their
evaluation each morning, so that will be their 1st indication that your
digestive tract is working again. I'm sure that with most docs, that will
be enough.
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
Your physical / occupational therapy people will likely give you some tongs
to use to reach your bottom. You wrap the tp around the end and, voila!,
you can reach. I only needed the tongs for a week or so, but they were oh,
so helpful for that time frame.
Good luck to you.
— Spunkwoman S.
January 20, 2002
This "problem" was the last straw that led to my decision to have
the surgery. It was getting to the point where I couldn't really get
myself clean in that area.
I simply bought the tongs you use when you barbecue. I don't think the
tongs costs more than $5. In fact, I think I got them on sale for a couple
of bucks. I did try a smaller, plastic set of tongs but frankly, they
didn't work. I bought baby wipes and would wrap the wipes around the end
and then have a plastic, grocery store type bag to dispose of the wipes.
You can't flush baby wipes down the toilet. I believe they do make
flushable type wipes but because of the costs, I just used baby wipes.
Just take the tongs to the hospital (I wrapped it in a towel and had a long
duffel type bag, plenty of plastic grocery bags and baby wipes). If I had
not done this, I would NOT have been able to wipe myself. In fact, it took
nearly a month after my surgery until I could wipe myself the old fashioned
way. It's hard to twist after the surgery. The first thing I did after I
lost twenty pounds and could wipe myself, I threw that baby in the trash!
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
Honey ,don't worry about that part the nurses get paid for doing that.and
besides that is the least of your worries.I was 346 pound and I had the
sweetest nurse she didn't even ask she just did it for me. you can probably
do it your self after the 2nd day its just at first.I know I was worried
about that to but the nurse was so sweet she made me feel so comfortable
about it that it is nothing to them to do it for you they are use to
it.Best of luck Nancy M.
— NANCY M.
January 20, 2002
Let this be the LEAST of your worries. There are nurses, attendants, even
a dear loved one, who would be happy to take care of you. I know, it is a
humiliating thought, but this is the time when YOU need someone to take
care of YOU. In my case, the attendant say, "Okay, are you ready for
your shower?" I looked helplessly at my sweet, dear daughter and she
told the attendant, "That's okay, I'm going to help my mom do
that." What a girl! She was also there for me to "wipe"
for the next few days. After all, I did it for her for years.......Let
someone take care of you! It's YOUR turn. Best of everything to you.
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
Instead of a wooden spoon you could always use the plastic version. I'm
not sure but it might be smaller. Also, Cottonelle makes wet wipes
designed for flushing. I took mine and they were wonderful. My whole
family likes using them. I even used them in the place of a shower when in
the hospital, they made me feel fresher. I also bought the oil of olay
face wipes to wash my face with, they smell good. Anyway, I wouldn't worry
too much about the mandatory BM. They usually just require 'bowel sounds'
and ask if you have been passing gas. That is an indication that the
system is up and running. They didn't do the 'clean out the system' thing
to me before surgery and I still didn't have a BM until 6 days post-op. I
was out of the hospital after 48 hours. By the way, my first BM was hard
and difficult, I was glad to have Fleet suppositories on hand. They were a
life-saver. So, you probably won't have a BM in the hospital, and they
probably won't require one, and if it does happen, the previous posters are
correct when talking about the nurses and that they are used to that. They
have seen many butts, and they are quite sympathetic. Enjoy your new
journey!
— Cheri M.
January 20, 2002
A long pair of bbq tongs and disposable washclothes are your answer. You
might not look at bbq the same way again but it will work. :)
— DeeDubbs
January 20, 2002
Hun, the nurse knows you won't be able to wipe, none of us were! Just tell
her you need to go to the bathroom & she will take it from there, you
will need help with all your wiping, not just with a BM. I also used a set
of tongs when I got home, just be sure you get a kind with a smooth edge,
lol!
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
Really, dont worry about that!I wasnt given any bowel prep ahead of surgery
and stayed in the hospital only2 nights.They listened to my stomach, but
nobody even asked whether or not I had had a bowel movement.In fact I didnt
have one for 3 days after I was home.However, I did get a spounge bath
daily and they were so matter of fact about it that it was a non issue.I
felt like a loved baby!
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
I too was very concerned about this pre-op. Went and bought all the
necessary items so I could take care of myself. Pre-op...308lbs. I could
barely reach. Well, post-op, I didn't have any problems reaching, and took
care of myself. You may find, that you won't have any problems in that
area.
— [Anonymous]
January 20, 2002
Count me in too as one of the former members of the tongs and baby wipes
club! : ) If it bothers you alot to ask the nurse for help, just pack them
in your suitcase. As another poster said, it hurts like crazy just to wipe
when you pee, much less go into contortions to wipe a BM. I ended up using
the tongs even when I peed. Being able to wipe with ease is one of the
exciting milestones we reach! It sure made my day ( maybe even my week) the
day I realized I could "reach".
— Bobbie B.
January 21, 2002
Check out: http://www.dynamic-living.com They offer a product called the
"Bottom Buddy" for people who have trouble reaching there.
Someone alerted us to this on the Spotlight board yesterday, so hopefully
it might be an option for you. Good Luck!
— Deborah W.
January 21, 2002
Most surgeons don't require a BM before leaving the hospital. Call the
office and ask if that will be required so that you don't have to worry
about it if it's not, BUT in the remote change your surgeon does require it
please remember, nurses have seen and done it all and it's all in a days
work for them. That's the kind of thing they get paid for. Also as previous
posters said the tong work very well. Good luck to you.
— [Anonymous]
January 21, 2002
I was not required to have a BM prior to leaving the hospital. As the last
poster said, you should call your surgeon's office and ask. Good luck!
— Julie S.
January 21, 2002
hi, please excuse my lack of capitals here, my keyboard had a major
accident with a coke that my son poured on it lol. the hospital that i was
in required that i do my bm business before i left, , of course they asked
that i not eat 24 hours prior and i was given only ice chips for three days
after, go figure. so i lied. i told the nurse i went in the middle of the
night and out of habit , flushed. now if you do really have to go, the
nurses will help you with anything you need help with. also i reccomend
taking a pair of tongs with you. i did, but never had to use them. good
luck to you.
— Carey N.
January 21, 2002
See you are not alone. Like other have said dont let this little thing
weigh you down. I was 349 lbs 5'3" and I couldnt wipe before surgery
and I said to myself what the heck will I do after surgery. It was not a
requirement to have a BM but they did listen to my tummy alot to hear the
gas sounds and that was good that they heard them. so let the gas roll.
But I did start my period 2 days before surgery and I want to say I had the
most wonderful nurses they took 100% care of me and keep me clean,changed
my pads, and washed me I couldnt reach and I kindly Thanked them all for
there care of my hygene. Like mom always told me you get better service
with honey than vinger. Take care and you will be ok I promise
REMEMBER DREAMS DO COME TRUE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVES
Jay Biller
— jay B.
January 21, 2002
I had open RNY on Jan. 3rd 02' and did not have to have a bowel movement
before I left the hospital. After all of the Philips Milk of Magnesia I
drank the day before and nothing but powerade, water and ice chips in the
hospital I didn't have anything in me to give...I was home 5 days before I
had a bowel movement. And if they do require you to have one the Nurses
are all profesionals and very helpful with any concerns or needs you might
have. Hope this helps.
— roshelle P.
January 22, 2002
I know you don't want to, it's embarrasing and somehow degrading, but
that's what the nurses are for! They are used to it, so they will just do
it without thinking twice. I had that PLUS started my period while in the
hospital. THAT sucked. But you gotta do what u gotta do.
— [Anonymous]
January 27, 2002
Yes I know you can also use the foam glass washer that you`ll fine in the
grocery store where the mops are sold ,,the are light weight and nice to
wash with with warm soapy water ,,,,and they rinse out nice ,,
— [Anonymous]
March 2, 2002
I was so glad to read this question. This was for me the final straw. I had
been gaining weight because I have to use so much insulin. But if I don't
use the insulin ... oh well. Someone had a web site to look at and I never
would have thought of tongs on my own. I do use the baby wipes and
disposable wash clothes. Thank you for this question.
— Rebecca H.
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