Question:
Surgery Monday and I am very scared.

I know this is normal, but I am very afraid. My surgery is on Monday and I have become very emotional, crying at weird times (which is not like me at all). I am becoming afraid of the actual surgery and what my life will be like afterwards. I am actually worried that I could talk myself out of the surgery by Monday morning. Any advice would be very appreciated.    — Cecelia R. (posted on August 25, 2000)

August 25, 2000
Any surgery is scary! But,now is the time to focus on the positive outcome you will have. Think about how great your life will become once you are post op. Think about the things you will be able to do, that you haven't in a long time. Think about how good your "inner" self will feel! Think about all the positive changes that you will be able make in your entire life. Believe in your higher power to see you through this. The surgery will go fine and your life can only get better. Rhonda
   — R H.

August 25, 2000
Cecilia: My surgery is next Friday, so I can sympathise. I am also very scared. But whenever I get to freaking out, I get on the message board and start reading all the success stories and how everyone says they would do it over in a heartbeat. That reassures me that I can do it too. I try not to think about the pain afterwards, but it is hard not to. Since I started thinking about this step and deciding to do it, it is all I can think of. I am looking forward to getting to the other side, but also scared of what I will find. Can I eat the way I am supposed to; will I be the only person in the history of WLS not to lose weight; will I binge and stretch my pouch so much I will start gaining again. These things and more are going thru my mind, not to mention the fact of possible dying. I have started working on my living will and that scares the bejeebes out of me and my husband both. This is a long post and I don't really have an answer for you except to hang in there and we will both start our new lives next week.
   — nealp

August 25, 2000
Hi Cecelia. I think it's quite sane to be scared before this surgery. I burst into tears as times for no reason at all and felt emotionally flaky in general for some time before the surgery. It was a very hard time for me, but I did get through it. I felt much like you do now and almost, ALMOST, walked out of the hospital when it came time to change into their gown. I just looked at the gown and cried for about ten minutes (VERY unlike me). I decided to just feel the terror and go through with it. I am so very happy I did, because the quality of my life has changed so dramatically. I feel as though I've been let out of prison. The quality of my life before surgery was rotten and I had no hope for the future. Yes, some stuff has been really rough during the last six months, but I have never felt so alive and part of life. I wish you the very best in whatever decision you make and know you will feel peace with yourself soon. Open, transected, medial RNY on 2/23/00 and down 115 pounds.
   — Martha O.

August 25, 2000
Hi Ceceilia, I had the open rny on 22/3/00 and felt just like you do at the minute. I found that concentrating on the positive side of the operation helped rather than the negative side. I.E. That i would be able to play games with my kids after losing weight and be able to take them places without them being ashamed of me. I also spent a lot of time thinking about what I would do with my life after losing the weight. I am now due to start college and am doing 2 courses on computing which I would never have done before losing weight. Maybe if you thought about what you would really like to achieve after losing weight and look into it, it might help take your mind off of the surgery a little. Anyway hope all goes well for you and i will be thinking of you when you have your surgery. Lynn Speight
   — Lynn S.

August 25, 2000
I know exactly how you feel. My date is Sept. 7th, and when I was at the surgeons yesterday, I was shaking like a leaf in the wind. Next thing I know, his nurse, who also happens to be his wife, hands me a prescription for Valium. I am so glad she did. I know that I would not make it thru the next two weeks without it. I work in a very high-stress area of the computer industry, and having the weight of the surgery on me while at work would have been hell on earth for me. I know it is a little late to ask for Valium, but for anyone else who reads this, it may help calm the anxiety of all this. And I of course do not and recommend NOT taking any Valium when you know you have to sign ANY type of legal document, such as a living will, or power of attorney. That can be used against your wishes if someone contests it. On Monday morning, look around you at the flowers and the trees and the birds, and the ones you love. Feel the love that comes from them, and it will give you the courage to do this!!!! Wishing you love and prayer...
   — Linda R.

August 26, 2000
Hey Cecelia: I am not into meditation much, but I did some just before my surgery (one year on 9/22) and it really helped me find peace before I went in. I do pray and that also helped. Focusing on the positive aspects and outcomes will really help. Also involving yourself in a lot of projects at home/work may also keep your mind off it. My biggest help was meditation though. I came to a lovely place of peace in my heart that I was doing the right thing and I was relatively calm on the morning of surgery. I seemed like a miracle to me, because I was climbing the walls for some time before. I am sure if you search your heart, you can find that place also. Good luck.
   — Dot W.

August 26, 2000
Cecilia, hang in there. Your feelings are not uncommon, and they are worth considering. I can only tell you from my own experience that being "on the other side" is so much easier than the agony we make it out to be. Your surgery will go fine. Enjoy your Sunday. Keep yourself busy and stay close to family and friends. This feeling of dread will pass, and your new life will begin very soon. Hugs and smiles.
   — Paula G.

August 26, 2000
My surgery is Monday as well. Scared, Nervous, Excited, Anxious..all those words describe me. I think everyone has given good advice, stay focused on what life will be like in the months to come. This surgery is a god sent! You'll do fine! When I say my prayer right before they wheel me in, I'll keep you in my prayers as well! Good Luck and let us all know how your doing.
   — Kim B.