Question:
Now I realize the journey is only half over.

I am a typical MO and have broken my share of beds and chairs... But after the surgery and loosing 72 pounds I never expected to break a toilet now! Sparing you the details I managed to crack the tank. My husband found me screaming in the bathroom as water spew everywhere and ran down the hallway. I feel bad enough now, but I can't imagine what I would feel like if I still weighed 287 and this happened. Has anyone else had a moment that made them realize that the journey is only halfway over?    — natjemison (posted on September 14, 2003)

September 14, 2003
I am now 11 months postop. Several weeks ago I saw a job posted on a website that I am very qualified for and decided to apply. Job changes are a big source of anxiety for me and I have always gained 40 pounds with each new job preop. As soon as I submitted my resume, I had the horrendous urge to eat. I could see right away that it was just emotional head hunger but the feeling was overwhelming so I allowed myself some walnuts to keep from eating bad stuff. This is when I realized that though I have lost 122 pounds with only 10 pounds to go to my surgeon's goal, I have a long way to go on the emotional part.
   — Yolanda J.

September 14, 2003
Don't know if this will make sense with regard to your question, but even though I've "arrived" (wearing a size 6/8) I still feel "halfway" there, ie still fat and unacceptable to myself and others. Even though I'm told I am thin, normal (and occasionally beautiful) I cannot see it AT ALL. I think I need counseling for this. Thanks for the question...
   — rebeccamayhew

September 14, 2003
I have two stories, one is the driver's seat in my car. Now that I can pull it forward alot more, the track on it broke now that I have lost 85lbs. And the other one happened the other night when we stopped at a convenient store and my husband grabbed a bunch of candy for him and my son and I grabbed a plum. The girl at the register said to me, you don't need all this junk food. I told her it was for my husband and he said not all of it and I said ya, the rest is for my son, this plum is for me, she said sure it is. I then told her I just lost 85lbs. and only have 65 more to go and could not eat that crap if I wanted to, she said oh, and you let him eat this stuff in front of you, he should be ashamed of his self. I just laughed and realized if I was a size 10 she probably would not have said anything, but I am a size 18 and that is only half way of what I would like to be. And in my mind set I still feel like a size 32. Open RNY~4/21/03~278/195/...128?
   — wildchild

September 14, 2003
Trust me, YOU did not break that toilet. There had to be something wrong with it. If I didn't break a toilet at 442 lbs then there is no way someone 287 did. So don't let it get to you. You may feel your journey is only 1/2 over but look at it this way you are 1/2 way there. Take the positive view. At least you made the decision to go on this life changing journey.
   — zoedogcbr

September 14, 2003
Well you still may be part way on your journey - but I think that the journey will be forever (our journey will be our whole life - regardless of when we reach goal, I'm sure) - so don't be upset. However, don't at all think YOU broke the toilet. There had to be something else wrong like a crack or something. There is NO WAY you would have broken it. Yesterday I was at a friends party and she has a pool. Someone sat in her pool lounge chair and broke the strings and ripped the seat. It was a skinny person - but I would have DIED if it was me (thank goodness I did not sit in that chair!!!!!! I would have been devastated) but in reality the strings were old and worn from standing out in the sun for years... so finally they gave way. It is just one persons bad luck to sit there when it happens. You have come a long way - whoo hoo! Be happy. I'm still preop, but am sure I will have a similar realization at some point, and I'll think of your story to give me some encouragement!
   — w8free

September 14, 2003
Prior to surgery, when I weighed over 500 pounds I broke my share of furniture (beds, one toilet, chairs, car seats- you get the picture). Now that I can comforably fit in just about anything made for adults, I appreciate that a minor but constant stress in my life is gone (who among us hasn't cringed walking into someone's house for the first time and fearing that they wouldn't have any chairs without arms for us to sit in?). But, I also realize that there are many other stresses that await me-- that keeping the food demons at bay is a potentially greater a challenge than getting down to my goal has been. And, as I fully plan on being around & healthy for a heck of a lot longer than the eleven months it's taken me to get to my goal, I figure that my journey is only about 1/50 of the way complete.
   — SteveColarossi

September 15, 2003
My highest weight was 485. The morning of surgery I weighed 388. Im 11 months out today and weight about 250. The other day my young son came up to me and said "Mom, when you get done being fat and are as small as grandma, maybe we can go to Raging Rivers (water park)next summer". I had refused to go this year..still being pretty self conscious about my weight. I got kind of depressed thinking that I am literally 1/2 the person I used to be and would have to be 1/2 the person I AM NOW to be my moms size. Ive lost alot of weight and look and feel so much better but it was really depressing to realize that for a woman 250 lbs is pretty darn big by most peoples standards. (Sure beats nearly 500 lbs any day!!!!!!)
   — cherokey55