Question:
HAs anyone else suddenly become visible?
Seems like no one ever really looked at me before! PAtients at work ask, when did you start here? Hmmmm 3 years ago! I may be thinner but still look like me. I find myself feeling very nervous and blush wildly around people either I haven't seen in a while or who fuss over my loss. Has this happened to anyone else? How do you deal with it?? Wendy open RNY 10/29 -98 — Wendy H. (posted on June 20, 2003)
June 20, 2003
Hi, Wendy. What an excellent question. I'm only 3 months out so I'm
dieing to see the responses as I often stated pre-surgery..."Am I
invisible or something? Doesn't anyone know I'm here!!!"
— msmaryk
June 20, 2003
How funny! Yeah, now everyone wants to set me up with their sons! What's
up with that? Or I hear "you should be a model". Do they forget
I am only 5'2?????!!! It's nice to hear but...........puleeeeeezzzzzzzzzz!
— TP
June 20, 2003
I am a VP of a business in Washington. ALL of my VP peers and
"above" are all male. I have lost 3 sizes. I now get a much
higher level of respect from all of the male hierarchy. More and more
people speak to me in my private life as well. I am being asked to make
more presentations to large groups, it's amazing what 3 dress sizes will
do.
— M B.
June 20, 2003
LOL!! Would you be referring to me? The girl who is (just a wee bit of
sarcasm here) funnier, prettier, and more intelligent since she's lost
nearly 130lbs?! Seriously, I'm amazed and sometimes just a bit
hurt/confused at all the attention that I get now. Sure, it's flattering,
but I can't help wondering why they're paying all this attention to me NOW,
ya know? I too get a bit embarrassed by all the attention, and I'm usually
successful in deflecting it by complimenting the person right back (i.e.
person-who-formerly-ignored-me: "Laurie, you look fabulous now you're
so thin", me: "But me, look at you?? Haven't you lost weight?
How did you do it?!) Yeah, sometimes I'm bald-faced lying, but it usually
works to get the spotlight off myself. Congrats on your loss, BTW.
— Laurie A.
June 20, 2003
Weny, what a question, my wls was 12-20-01 and I know what you mean about
blushing, sometimes I just want "Hello I've always been here, why are
you talking to me now" HAH people PLUSSSSSEEEEEEE ! :)
— Rho
June 20, 2003
Boy it's been awhile since I have been on here......I am 17 months post op.
I have lost 109 pounds and have gone from a size 22-24 to an 8. I look
GREAT and I feel GREAT! I also am getting more attention. I see men look at
me and it feels really weird. Kind of embarrasses me. But, I think half the
reason we get more attention is that NOW we are projecting ourselves in a
more confident manner. We feel better and look better and this makes us
happy. For me, it raised my self esteem 1000%. We project this and people
pick up on it real quick. So, I think this attention we are suddenly
getting is all part of this whole WLS process......
— Kim B.
June 20, 2003
All the time! I do like the new attention, but what makes me angry is the
old close friends that are now acting jelous and the old friends(like our
male friends wives) that I was always around trying to be friendly, without
the return and now they try to act like we are best friends....I now treat
them like they use to treat me. This has really made me see how rude people
really are towards weight, kinda makes me sick, but oh well they are the
ones who missed out on a good friend:o)
— Sandy M.
June 20, 2003
Wendy! I am going through that exact thing right now!! I keep getting
checked out by men! Whistled at, too! ROFL!! I was sitting at a stop light
the other day, and these two guys pulled up beside me. I don't usually look
at other people, but when I heard this wolf whistle, I was so startled (my
window was open), I turned and looked right at them. They were both
grinning at me and I flipped! LOL! I laughed and said, "Oh, you
boys!" (They were younger than me!) They laughed and smiled and the
light turned green! Thank Goodness! My husband growled all evening after I
told him about this! <<<<girly giggle!>>>> Ain't
it great!! On the flip side, it really makes me nervous. I am a
"wriggly puppy" around people enough, without them whistling at
me. lol! I am trying to learn how to not drop my mouth open and look
around me and behind me to see who they are staring or whistling at! LOL!!
Get used to it baby! You are lookin' FINE!!
— Sharon M. B.
June 21, 2003
Here's the "newbie" adding in her 2 cents worth... This is what I
have noticed: Ever since I have started telling friends and family about my
decision to have WLS, it's like I've given them permission to acknowledge
that I'm obese!?! It's the wierdest thing; and I think it's just the
opposite of what you're experiencing now. I guarantee that within 6 months
of my surgery, my friends will be crawling out of the wood work to invite
me to do things with them that I've never been included in before. I think
they have always told themselves that I would be uncomfortable (and in some
cases that may be true), but I think the truth is that my weight makes them
uncomfortable and therefor, it must follow that I'm
uncomfortable...pulleese! Case in point, my cousin had WLS 18 months ago
and she's like a born-again... You can't possibly be happy/find a man/enjoy
ANYTHING if you're obese... Well, I'm sure that I will be bubbling with
energy and enjoying life to the MAX following surgery because I will feel
better physically, but I will still be ME. But I agree, when you feel
better about yourself in any way you do project it... Years ago I went on
NutriSystem and lost my "baby" fat (I was 18); I can still
remember this one day I walked into a WinnDixie and, low and behold, guys
were checking me out all over the place;)...Can't WAIT for that feeling
again. You all give me hope!!!
— nancy V.
June 21, 2003
— aprilbaree
June 21, 2003
Hi Wendy! Good topic! I was just saying this to my mom the other day. I
used to get lots of attention from people, and I liked it, but I cut down
on the flirting once I got married (of course!). However, the attention
stopped at one point and I only remembered it the other day because two men
tried to pick up on me in one day! Now I am down 60 pounds and still over
200, but it's like I've "reappeared" to the world. Like another
poster, I find it flattering, but annoying at the same time. Too bad that
the truth about our society hits us so hard at these times. All these
years I thought it didn't make a difference socially whether I was MO (I
have ALWAYS been a social bee)...but, alas, there really is a difference,
whether most people admit it or not. Now I like the attention again, but
getting it this time (now that I have changed and I'm losing) makes the
attention bittersweet. Congrats on the 98 pounds!!
— toolio
June 23, 2003
Oh my goodness...so THIS is what I have to look forward to? I'm almost 10
wks post and down 45. I've already seen a tremendous difference in the way
people treat me...both good & bad. Those who've known me a long time
and just now treat me like a 'real' person, well...I keep my perspective
about them and consider them acquaintances (you know...the kind of person
you don't tell anything personal to). Others I've known for years you can
truly see their happiness for me and it is refreshing.
Best wishes on your journey!!!
— Diane S.
June 23, 2003
I was not always a "fluffy" person, I went up to my 21st birthday
being a person of normal weight. After I turned 21, a series of events
caused a massive depression, and I turned to food...and then genetics took
over there too, with a family history of MO and SMO.<P>Anyway,
through it all, my DH always told me heloved me and that to him, I was
beautiful. Not that I believed him, of course. I was always willing to
believe the worst about myself. After my WLS, I began to
"re-emerge" and all of a sudden, I had the body that I used to
have when I was 18. Sure, there were a few more miles on it, and some
stretch marks thanks to MO and 2 pregnancies, but lo and behold, I was a
size 8 again. I felt like I was re-born. And the attention I got from
others was incredible. I ate it up like I used to eat food at the all you
can eat buffet. (LOL)<P>I think my favorite moment came when I was
at work, and someone I had worked with for years and years, but had
retired, came back for a visit. She hadn't seen me since before my surgery
and by the time she came back for a visit, I was already post op TT...the
last time she saw me I was a size 24...now I was a 4. She didn't even
recognize me...not at all. This was a woman I worked with for almost 10
years.<P>I do get some negative comments, usually from other women.
(we are a catty bunch, aren't we?). And they are usually the ones who did
not agree with my having surgery in the first place, so I've been ignoring
them for the better part of 2 years now, anyway. The "looks"
that I get from the opposite sex, I don't think bother DH. I think he's
proud and pleased as punch that he knows I am going home with him
tonight...and that he is secure in that I am not going to go stepping out
on him, as I am not that kind of a woman. I'm as loyal as the doggys that
I now groom as a doggy groomer.<P>I guess the best way to handle it
all is take the compliments in stride. And to keep yourself from getting
"that" attitude that you always hated from the non-MO people of
the world, remember from where you came. Keep it real!! Remember where
you were on the day of your surgery. I always tell people I am a Morbidly
Obese Woman in Recovery (MOWIR). And when my son recently made a comment
about a "portly" child in his class, and his "fluffy"
mom, I reminded him how he felt when other kids would pick on him about his
"fluffy" mom. And that even though I am now "skinny",
inside, I am still MO.
Well, I've said enough for now. Have a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang
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