Question:
Post Ops, How are you dealing with the media demons?

I'm one year out, down about 170lbs- I am at a point where I can pretty much eat anything I want--this includes the dreaded and hated carbs! I can't do bread, per se, but crackers, chocolate, stuff like that. I have done my best to get over food issues but it's extremely challenging. I want coffee, chocolate, cookies, candy and all the bad foods that I was supposed to get over by now! I'm also an emotional eater and I don't want to be! I have a regular exercise plan that I'm actually sticking to but it's not good enough. I'm also envisioning myself to look like a celebrity..ie..very thin (which I'm NOT) tan and beautiful. I know that's totally crazy but I can't help but want the Gewn Stafanni abs! She's my age, for blank's sake! I'm feeling pressure to attain perfection and I don't know where it came from! My brain know that me being that thin is not going to happen but my heart wants to look and feel perfect! How are all of you dealing with the media demons? I'm not unstable, quite the opposite, but now that I am closer to my goal I'm feeling the need to push myself further!!!?!?!?!    — jenn2002 (posted on May 14, 2003)


May 14, 2003
One word for you - Counceling.
   — [Deactivated Member]

May 14, 2003
Please find an eating disorder specialist. The dumping syndrome alone should keep you from wanting those foods. If you eat them in spite of dumping, you need counseling for the problem.
   — Lisa B.

May 15, 2003
Well, I have taken an entirely different approach to post op life than most people. I have my surgeon to thank for this. I have never dieted!!! I no longer label any food good or bad. If I want something, I eat it. It was the striving for perfection (both in life and in dieting) that led me to be MO. I am 2 1/2 years post op and have never counted fat, protein or carbs. I eat like a normal person. I was at goal VERY rapidly (and I was a lightweight). I've been at 122-123 size 4/6 for almost 2 years and I have also never exercised. My entire life I focused on food and I had this drive to EAT! It was ruling my life. I no longer feel that and I truly believe it is because I have allowed myself the freedom to eat what I want. I don't overeat because I physically can't. I would definitely recommend not labeling food or having that diet mentality. It is truly liberating!! Shelley
   — Shelley.

May 15, 2003
I can relate to how your feeling, and believe that many others can as well. Women in other countries w/o sources of media are fine with their bodies and rarely have eating disorders, where as Americans thrive over looks and glamour, it's depressing! And from what I took out of your post, is that you can handle sweets and crackers and chocholates, it's that you shouldn't. It didn't seem like you dumped and still ate these things despite it, I think as one poster took it. And as you get further out, if you do eat sugar, your dumping becomes less and less, as happened with me as well. I think you should seek counseling as well, or even just a support group. I personally felt guilty when I ate a piece of chocolate or some icecream or a cookie. But I have started to realize that I need to get out of this diet mentality and be a "normal" person. I know there is nothing normal about my stomach, but I'm going to try and live like the rest of my skinny friends. I can have one cookie and be ok, and that is truly all I need, just ONE! And as long as I am counting it toward my faily intake of food, as getting protein first and exercise, there is really nothing wrong with that. I believe moderation is the key to balance in all things- I think that's the first step you need to take. I also look at myself and think, god I need a TT, a breast lift, things are so saggy. But I am 130lbs. and with clothes on, I look good, you'd never know. I think you just have a perfectionist type personality, and I understand that. I'm at my goal, but still want to lose more and look better and better. I should be happy- 1 year ago I was 250lbs. But I talk with someone about it, as well as give myself positive daily affirmations, which I think could help you. I'm trying take a more positive, healthier attitude about myself and realize that all those celebs have millions of dollars to be able to get plastic surgery and personal trainers everyday, I certainly do not! Goodluck to you :-)
   — Lezlie Y.

May 15, 2003
Hello, question asker here! I do not eat, dump, eat more, dump more! I'm certainly not the type of person who will have Botox injections but I do hope to have the redundant skin removed later on, maybe 1-2 years from now! I hope I didn't sound like a fragile, unstable person--I am not! I'm pretty confident with who I am internally, but every once in a while, I really feel like I'm not pretty enough. Today is my 32nd birthday and I feel pretty good about myself today! I was in counseling but have opted not to attend any longer due to it really not doing anything for me at all! I'm fiercly independent and want to combat the internal demons myself and with my husband! Thanks for all your guidance, I appreciate all the input!!!!!
   — jenn2002

May 15, 2003
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! We are the same age (my b-day was on the 11th). Gurl I so understand how you feel!!! I live and work for the media demons!!! I wouldn't mind Gwen's abs myself! But neither you or I are Gwen. You wrote above you were in therapy but left, perhaps if you were seeing someone who is an eating disorder specialist it would be differnt? I see someone who is wonderful and understands every step of the way. It makes a big differnce if you really conncet with your therapist. Another option is to read some books to help with self esteem. To learn to to accept and love yourself how you are. Sounds like you are on track just in need of help...feel free to email me if you need any book suggestions or anything liek that. [email protected] best of luck to you..aims
   — chickiewickie

May 15, 2003
Whatever made you think you'd be immune to wanting to eat like the cultural norm? It's not a mental disorder to want to do what everyone else is doing. I haven't watched TV for about 15 yrs, but I know what's "done" and what isn't. I'm around other people who think nothing of downing 2-3 glases of moo with a meal, drink regular soda, and have cookies every day with lunch. Granted, it's not wise, but unlike me, they're not wearing their choices on their exteriiors like I do. I know I can never BE normal, and if I try to play with it, I'll soon get a night tight wasted reminder of why I cannot. My disease is in remission, only because I have to remember that I have a fatal mechanical disease that is just waiting for me to think of it as a mental disorder and try to be like everyone else. I was flipping through some 60's magazines I found, and there was a little silhouette of a normal person (before) and then the 1967 Twiggy verion of what normal was going to be forever after. No roundness whatsoever. And then we wonder why we can never attain perfection? Based on whose idea of perfection? The industry that sells us the products by which we can never quite measure up? Opps, don't get me started. ANYWAY, we have been programmed since our childhood to always want to be what we are not. I'm 5'1", but I want 5'7". I'm an apple, I want pear. I'm a redhead, I want tan skin. See what I mean?
   — vitalady




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