Question:
Does Anyone Regret Having WLS?
I have already scheduled consultations for WLS. My mom, who I love tremendously, says that I will regret having the surgery once its over. She will support me in whatever decision I make, but she is worried. And I completely understand. So my question is, does anyone here ever regret having had WLS? — Laura R. (posted on May 11, 2003)
May 10, 2003
I did at first.I think everyone does. Now I am totally happy and having
fun with all the stuff I can do and the clothes I can wear now that I
couldnt four months ago. Food to me is just something you have to have to
survive. I have to make myself eat. I try to get most of my protein in
thru shakes and etc then eat a little of whatever I want. I have to make
myself eat. I cook for my husband and sometimes I will have a bite or two
off his plate.
— Delores S.
May 10, 2003
I am only 5 weeks out but I have no regrets. I had open RNY and my surgery
and recovery have gone easier than I ever imagined. I believe that the
attitude going in has a huge effect on the results after. My family did not
want me to have the surgery, but I did this for me, not them. Good luck to
you.
— julie F.
May 10, 2003
NOT I!! or my wife Jen, although she had a rough start and missed her buddy
food.. Both happy here. Now if WLS just fixed the finances as well as
weight and health:( Take your mom to a support group meeting, meet the
other happy healthy post ops, see their pictures, hear their stories and
your Mom will understand! and support you! This will help you a lot too!
— bob-haller
May 10, 2003
The first week or so after I was home from the hospital, I had periods
where I was scared and worried I had made a mistake. What really freaked me
out was the day after I came home and my stomach started making this
horrible growling gurgling sound. It was so loud my husband could hear it
across the room. All I could think was, "what have I done to my body
to make it react this way." Of course I think I was suffering from a
little post op depression as well. Anyway, the growling stopped after a
week or so, and after the initial adjustment period I have never looked
back. I had my surgery on 1/17/03 and have lost 55 lbs. so far.
— J H.
May 10, 2003
I was 410, couldn't walk, had constant back pains, I couldn't even tie my
own shoes, I hid in my home. I had high blood pressure, asthma, I was
always mad and grumpy, lets just say I was miserable. Had my RNY January 11
2002.
I even have had emergency surgery for scar tissue that had twisted my
intestine.
I do not nor will I regret this. I am loving my life and me. Today I
weighed in at 204. I still have more to go, but I am enjoying every new
day.
Lots of people wake up and are in pain and wonder what they did to
themselves, but this passes.
I wish you the best of luck
— domestic G.
May 10, 2003
NOT ONE!! Even w/ my very slow weight loss I am so grateful that I
qualified to have this done. Unlike most people on this site--I have NEVER
lost a pound on any diet--I was WAY too hungry to last more than 48 hrs. I
am so glad to move this lack of discipline or physical defect or recognized
disease from my head to my stomach--that now I can tell I am full, or I am
nauseous, or I have had enough. Without this surgery I had no
control--unlike most areas of my life--I now have this reigned in too and
the far reaching effects, we all know too well obesity has on us. I was
operated on as a lightweight in 2002--but believe me only time separated me
from a much heavier presentation. My "hunger meter" was
broken--and I got it fixed!! Good Luck to you in your journey.
— Wannabe A.
May 10, 2003
NEVER NEVER NEVER! I have no regrets, the surgery was the best thing that
ever happened to me and I look at it as a gift from God. I wasted so much
time and money throughout my life trying to diet. The danger I put my body
in was ridiculous. Now I have to be careful but it is so worth it. I was
scared to death of failure, and after reading so many posts about dumping
and being sick I just knew it wasnt going to work for me. Well it has I am
down 78lbs, 5 sizes, in four months. My blood work is great, I am doing
well and definetly have no regrets!
— debmi
May 11, 2003
NO!!! lap rny 3/18/03 -35 (and I throw up every other day-ish!!)
— msmaryk
May 11, 2003
NO WAY! How can I possibly regret something that has given my life back to
me? I used to get out of breath just walking out to my car. I couldn't go
shopping because my back would hurt too bad plus there was nothing that fit
me that I was going to like anyway! Not only have I lost 65 lbs in 3
months, but I have also lost the back pain, the heavy breathing, the
swelling in my legs and ankles, the high blood pressure, the feeling that
everyone was judging me everywhere I went, not being able to sleep through
the night without waking frequently, and most important I have lost my self
loathing! I would never EVER try to talk anyone into or out of this surgery
as I believe it is a personal decision, but it was the best decision for
me!! : )
— Peggy B.
May 11, 2003
I would think there are quite a few people out there who may not be part of
OH, who regret the surgery. But, there are so many more out there who are
not on OH, who are living a much happier and helthier life. You can wind
up being one the the unhappy ones. There are no guarantees here. This is
serious busines, and you must have your eyes wide open. I had lunch with
one of my daughter's old high school buddies who happened to have surgery
the same month as me. She is never on these boards, just out living her
wonderful new life. We were so funny telling each other how great we
looked. Also eating whatever we wanted.
— faybay
May 11, 2003
I think everyone goes through a little bit of *buyers regret* at first. We
lose food, which for so long has been a comfort, a friend, even a lover.
It's hard to give it up like that. It's like going *cold turkey*, right?
You realize that your entire life is about to change. No more will your
life's accomplishments or pains be measured in food. And in our society,
where food is used in celebrations and in times of difficulty, it makes it
even harder. Your *regret* level will truely depend upon your ability to
make new coping mechanisms for both joy and pain, because I can no longer
have that *celebratory* meal, nor can I have that meal that I can drown my
pain in either. And until you begin to take stock in your life, and find
new coping mechanisms for both good and bad, you will have regrets. Even
now, at 18 months post op, I have *moments* where I want to *take off my
surgery* and go out to dinner---what I wouldn't give for a prime rib
dinner, baked potato (extra butter), and a chocolate cake for dessert.
That is when you will feel *twinges* of regret...but they don't last
long...a few minutes at the most. You can still have that prime rib
dinner...it'll last you three or four days...but you can have it. It's a
coping mechanism. See? Good Luck and Have a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang
May 11, 2003
I questioned it a few times the first few weeks after surgery, but within a
couple months when I started feeling normal again, I never let that thought
cross my mind. I would do this all over. My kids (ages 3,4,5) have a new
mom that can laugh, play and RUN(more like chase lol). My weight made me a
bad mom, I would'nt do anything with them other than what I had to b/c I
was always tierd and out of breath trying to keep up with them and my
family hounded me about giving my kids a life outside of my house and now I
take them EVERYWHERE and show them how fun life is! When I think back
sometimes I just cry b/c I am so thankful I can live my life the way I
should! My family is so happy to have the old me back, not the one who
became shy, VERY lazy and anoyingly depressed....all over weight! I'm
feeling all teary eyed over here so.....Good luck to you and do what YOU
feel you need to do for yourself :o)
— Sandy M.
May 11, 2003
I am 19 weeks out and still have many times when I regret the surgery. I
am one of those people who have many things that aren't tolerated and my
capicity is still very small. I think that I am fortunate that this is the
case for the long term, but it is difficult mentally to deal with on some
days when you would like to be able to eat a hamburger with your family. I
am a firm believer that the hardest part of this surgery process is between
the ears! Another words the mental process that it takes to adjust. Don't
get me wrong, I love the new smaller me and the things that I can now do
that I haven't been able to do before. I just think that we all want to be
thin so badly, that we gloss over the doubts pre-surgery thinking that it
will all turn out peachy and we will surely be the one who can handly it
all. Please study and research very hard before you make your final
decision. All the best...
— sherry H.
May 11, 2003
Hi, I agree with the last post, I had wls 3 mths. ago and even though I am
glad I had it done, I had can't tolerate much food either still. I di wish
sometimes that I could eat like other normal people do but I can't and yes
sometimes I do miss that, but in the end would I do this all over again
yes, because I did have alot of health issues and being extremely
overweight it not fun, and I now it will eventually get better and so will
my health problems and some have already and i now I won't be overweight
anymore thank god because it restricted me from doing things. So, do I have
any regrets, at first, when I was going thru the vomiting all of the time
and other things, I might have thought about it once or twice, but that's
normal and now no way because this sugery was definetely worth it. Good
luck to you.
— Melodee S.
May 11, 2003
I put an entry on my profile yesterday which involves this issue. I've put
it below for people to read:
<p>
<i>While waiting for Geri [my wife] to get out of surgery [lap RNY],
I met the wife of a fellow WLS patient (the one that was going to be
operated on after Geri). She and I talked for awhile and I answered some of
her questions and addressed some of her concerns. One thing that came out
while I was talking was my feelings about my history of cancer and how it
tied in with my obesity. I want to detail that here for others to read:
<p>
When I discovered a lump in my neck back in May 1995 (it will be 8 years
next Saturday), I probably weighed a little less than I do now - about 240
pounds. I had recently lost about 50 pounds through a hospital-supervised
weight-loss program (New Directions). As part of my chemo regimen, I was
given 200mg of Prednisone daily for 5 days every three weeks for a period
of 6 months. You've heard and read many stories about cancer patients
wasting away to nothing, right???? Well, in my case, it was the opposite. I
put on at least 80 pounds over the next 6-9 months as a direct result of
the chemotherapy. Depression over the cancer and chemo and the subsequent
weight gain made it feel that the cancer was still controlling me - even
though CAT scans were showing me to be cancer-free. I was angry over this
as well - there was no history of 'the big C' in my family (yeah...I know
that someone has to be first) - and this anger, depression and some
subsequent health problems (like lymphedema) contributed to even more
weight gain. I reached a maximum weight at one point of 454 pounds - which
is a lot for anyone, but imagine that on a 5'4" body.
<p>
Well, now I am down to that weight prior to the discovery of the cancer
(almost *G*), the lymphedema is gone for the most part and I am still
cancer-free, so now - at least in my psyche - it's as if I never had the
cancer at all. Oh, I know that I have to see my oncologist every six months
- but the day-to-day reminder of it that was reflected in the mirror is
gone. The anger and depression over it that was fueling my weight gone is
gone too. Thank God for WLS. I can only hope that my wife can experience
this joy as well.
</i>
— John Rushton
May 11, 2003
I am only 6 weeks out and still tears come to my eyes most days as
I pause and thank God for this surgery .I was 240 and misserable and now
every day I am loosing and feeling so much better everyday . For once in my
life instead of worrying about my weight I rest assured that with each
passing day the problem is getting better . Food controlled me and now with
this tool I control my food . its so impowering . I may one day miss the
food , I dont know but at 48 years old ,one thing I have learned is that
everything in life is a trade off and I wouldnt trade this feeling for all
of the chocolate cake and pasta in the world .What I have gained from this
surgery far out weighs the foods I had to give up . Ruhtie In SC
— ruthie
May 11, 2003
My mom thought the same thing BEFOREI had the surgery. Now one year later
she says it is the best thing I ever did in my life. Have your mother read
my profile.
— Linda A.
May 11, 2003
NO! Never once regretted this surgery. It was the best thing I've ever done
for myself. I'm sure most people feel this way, even those who've had
complications.
— Angie M.
May 11, 2003
I will say that there has NOT been a single moment that i have regretted
the surgery, from the moment I woke up out of surgery to today, 4 months
later. No regrets. Just gotta be ready for anything!
— thekatinthehat
May 11, 2003
I remember opening my eyes after surgery in the worst pain I ever felt in
my life and thought,"What have I done to myself?" Then the PCA
was in place and the morphine started. It will be two years next month
since that day and I've had no regrets since. I've been given a second
chance at life. WLS and the following reconstructive surgery are the best
things I've ever done for myself.
— Pamela B.
May 11, 2003
Laura, I had my surgery on 01/28/03 and the only regret that I have is that
I didn't do it sooner. I have lost 70 lbs in the last 3 1/2 months and
feel and look great! GOOD LUCK!
— jerzeygirl71
May 11, 2003
Laura- I had LAP RNY 1 year ago and have lost 120lbs. and am now at my goal
weight. I even had bad complications that leave me sick to this day, cannot
complete school yet and do not work. I'll eventually get better- and this
doesn't happen to many people. My point is I still don't regret doing this.
Nothing now can take away the self-confidence I have and being able to
breathe when I walk. (Fitting into size 4-6 helps, too! lol) Goodluck to
you!
— Lezlie Y.
May 11, 2003
Do I regret having WLS? NO! Do I regret the 'type' of WLS I had... YES.
I feel that I wasnt given the proper information to make a well defined
choice. If I could go back and redo it.. I would pick the DS over the RNY.
But other than that, I dont regret having the surgery.
— star .
May 11, 2003
I believe that everyone goes through a period of "mourning" over
the foods that are no longer tolerated or those you can not have. It does
go away. After learning to chew, chew, chew, take smaller bites, and take
my time; I have found there very little I can not tolerate. When I have a
problem, it is almost always due to not chewing enough or too large of a
bite, or too fast. There are a lot of adjustments to be made quickly after
surgery. Allow yourself time. LAP RNY August 28, 2002 -- start 255 current
154.5. YEAH! Century Club! I feel great all the way around. NO REGRETS!
Should have been done sooner. Good Luck and God Bless
— Linda K.
May 11, 2003
In the first 6-8 weeks after surgery I had a hard time adjusting to my new
tummy and I cried over a meal or two. I was frustrated and angry and
wondering what the heck I had done to myself! I think that those are pretty
normal feelings and hopefully if you have those feelings you will not get
an "I told you so!". You won't get that here! I will say that at
4 months out my only regret is that I did not do this years ago. All those
years torturing myself and hating my body were so miserable and sad. I can
honestly say now that this one of the best and most life altering things I
have ever done for myself and would do it again in a heartbeat. Good Luck!
— Carol S.
May 12, 2003
Truly regretted? Nope, not once. Minor moments in time when I wish I were
born differently and never had needed this to begin with, but no regrets of
fixing the freak of nature my stomach and appetite had become.
— [Deactivated Member]
May 12, 2003
Hi Laura,
I'm little confused about why your mother would think you will have
regrets. What's to regret? Your changing your lifestyle and this is a tool
to help you become healtier. It means you can probably become active again
and do things you may never had done or haven't done in a very long time.
You can walk again without huffing/puffing, chances are your joints won't
hurt and most of the rude comments from clueless people disappear. If you
have children they might be thrilled in a year that they can put their arms
around mommy and give her a big bear hug.It means having more choices for
clothing and fitting into the seats at the movies or the booth of a
restaurant easier.What's to regret? Are there changes-YES. However, it
dsn't sound like you're going into this unaware of that. I'd do this again
in a heartbeat and I've said so ever since I was in recovery room. I'm
busier now than ever.I'm a Cub Scout Leader, Just trained for Boy Scout
Leader, I go camping, hiking the appalachian trial,own my own business,
enjoy life and don't miss out. Garden, Kayaking etc....My energy level in
endless. Is is easy to slip back into old habits-sure, however, I have
choices that I make and I'm reminded every day of the picture hanging on my
fridge of the struggles I went thru Morbidly Obese. I don't wish that on
anyone. I was pretty lucky compared to many. I will never regret my
decision or my choices. Will there be difficult times. Maybe. I never
experienced any. I think your attitude going into this helps. Trust
yourself, know your surgeon and what he requires of you. Then, stick with
it. There are well meaning people on this site but every physician is
different and you choose your surgeon for a reason. Does he know
everything-NO. Just talk with him about your concerns and things will go
fine! Best wishes
— Linda M.
May 12, 2003
My mom also thought that I would regret having surgery. She told me that
she thought that I would be unhappy about the loss of food. Everything in
my families lives involve food and she thought I would miss that. I am 10
weeks post op and my mom is now very proud of me. I do not feel like I
have to eat all the time anymore. I do not feel like just because someone
else is eating I need to be also. My entire family was together on
Saturday and we all went for ice cream. I went and had no problems
socializing while everyone ate there ice cream.
The only thing I regret about the surgery is that I did not have it years
ago.
— Marcy S.
May 12, 2003
No regrets~not in the least!:) It took me about 3 years of hoop-jumping,
research and getting my nerves together.
— yourdivaness
September 18, 2003
I just want to tell you that I have regrets but it is because I backed out
of surgery because of FEAR! I had a surgery date and everything and 3 weeks
before the date I backed out because I let my nerves get the best of me and
I thought have I really tried dieting enough. SO here I am on WW and having
no luck and really regretting second guessing my decison. I also blame
myself for letting others around me scare me w/horror stories about weight
loss surgery. Now here I am trying to muster up enough guts to start the
porcess all over again. Anyways only you can be honest with yourself and
know what is truly right for you and your body. Once you decide to have
surgery don't let anyone scare you like I was.
Good luck to you
Caroline
— Caroline F.
September 18, 2003
Christine Elkins had it right! At 14 months, I've had a number of
occasions when I miss the way I used to eat--but they pass in a moment.
The me I see in the mirror is worth every sacrifice!
— AmyL
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