Question:
why pay PCP to yell at me?
i just returned from my second try at a PCP. I guess i am just not picking the rite ones. he totally yelled at me that fat people can lose weight and i have to try harder. after he told me i have very seriously HIGH blood pressure he said i have NO co-morbs to qualify me. MY BMI is 42.5 and he says i am not morbidly obese. want to know what he wanted me to do? Fast for 30 days, water and 1 fruit daily. then come back when i have lost 15lbs then he would EXPLAIN to me how to excercise. i swim 3-4 hours, 3X a week, dance for my boyfriend, cook, clean, mow grass, and anything else. He said you eat TOO much, i say i eat once a day. he yells at me more. i left doing that awful blubbering cry, you know the one NO ONE is supposed to ever see you do. i am still crying. I know am not super big but i know i am too big. i wear a size 24 and that is on good days. i am NOT tall at all. the man actually poked my boob with his pen and says to me you will need a breast reduction. THANKS for the info doc. maybe he thought they would deflate (shrugs). well i was in a good mood this morning but i will put that off for another few weeks i guess. thatnks for letting me vent and please if ANYONE somewhat in the IN/KY area has a WLS friendly doc PLEASE email me. devlchylde — Bethany M. (posted on September 5, 2001)
September 5, 2001
First of all, on the obesityhelp.com website, click on "Find
Peers" and find someone in your area and see who their PCP was.
SECONDLY, get a little backbone and if ANYONE touches your boob with a pen
or anything else -- HAUL OFF AND KNOCK THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THEM!
SLAP THEM! That is totally unprofessional behavior! In fact, I'd already
have reported him to anyone in charge. I would REFUSE to pay the bill too.
Write a professional but firm letter to his office, simply stating that he
was unprofessional and totally out of line by touching your breast with his
pen and making such rude comments. Don't mention the fact that you
blubbered like a baby. Stand up for yourself and find treatment and quit
letting anyone walk on you. It is not their right but it is hard to do
without your permission!
— Cindy H.
September 5, 2001
Bethany, I wish I lived in your area and could help you find a friendly
PCP. The nerve of that guy!! I can tell you one thing to do right now -
STOP SEEING HIM! Don't put one more dime from your or your insurance
company's pocket into his hand. I am positively livid right now! I hate
it when people act like that! Good Luck - I wish you the best!
— Pamela P.
September 5, 2001
I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you have to have a PCP for
referral? I know you need one post op. Next time a doctor even starts to
talk to you that way, shut him/her up. Tell them it's never appropriate to
yell at a patient. Ask for statistics, the same kind of statistics that
the doctors demand of medications, that's what you want to see for their
diet plan. I bet that dr. never tried to live on water and a piece of
fruit a day. I can't even do that post op. Shame on him. Email me his
address and I'll write to him with some facts. Only if you want to of
course, I'm not really a troublemaker. Best wishes and email me for
support if you need it too.
— kcanges
September 5, 2001
Call your insurance company and tell them your story. I work for an HMO
and we would kick his a## out of the plan for behaving like that. I've
lost 90 pounds since my surgery and I had to switch PCP's recently. The
first one I tried was 80 years old if he was a day. After I had just
explained to him that I had gastric bypass surgery in February he went on
to explain to me that I really needed to lose some weight. Somebody needs
to retire.
— Meredith A.
September 5, 2001
This guy sounds like and idiot, a total quack. I suggest you go to a
different Dr. Do you have a regular Dr? You do not have to be treated
badly just because you are overweight. Keep trying until you find a more
knowledgeable, respectable Dr.
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!
— Terri A.
September 5, 2001
Bethany, I agree that you should go to the peers section of this website to
find another PCP. I had to change PCP's because the first one told me to
try Weight Watchers (like I hadn't before) and also said that he used to
refer people for the surgery but learned that depressed heavy people only
became thin depressed people. Then told me he could even put me on a diet!
I, too, left his office crying, but determined that I would find another
PCP. I contacted a WLS support group in my area and received several names
of "fat friendly" doctors. DON'T GIVE UP!
— Jean B.
September 5, 2001
I am so sorry you were treated badly. Tell that Dr. to go to H@#&% and
try another. Ask someone in your area for a Dr. That is WLS friendly. Good
luck !
— Sue R. T.
September 5, 2001
I agree with everyone here. Go to peers. Find someone in your area and
find out who their surgery friendly PCP is. Then, call your insurance
company and file a report. It works. When I was having one of my pre-op
tests done I had a Gastroenteroligist (sp?) tell me that if I was 53 (i'm
23) then he'd do my endoscopy. But, because I'm so young and have no
co-morb's that I need to post a picture of a swimsuit model next to my
mirror and when I get out of the shower I need to look in the mirror and
say "i want my butt to be smaller like hers" and blah blah blah.
He says my body will react and I the weight will just melt away. I didn't
look for a mirror, I looked for the door. I reported him to my HMO and
filled out an incident report. Don't take that crap from anyone. These
doctors may know "more" about healthcare, but not about
everybody's health. He's ignorant...the unfortunate thing is, a lot of
doctors are ignorant. Because of this situation I have been posting
doctors on my own personal website that are surgery friendly or unfriendly.
Right now it's just limited to my area, but when I get names from other
areas, I too will post them. Yes, I've gotten in trouble for posting a
surgery unfriendly doctors name, but I don't care. They want me to pay
them $10 for treating me like crap! No way. Report him. Find another
doctor. If you want, I'll even post his name on my board...I even include
addresses and phone numbers. Fry his @$$ ~
— Kristin R.
September 5, 2001
What horrible treatment...I'm so sorry for what you were put through. I
would definitely file a grievance, report him to the AMA, your insurer,
even the Better Business Bureau! Do you know what surgeon you want to use
for your weight loss surgery? Call his office and ask his office staff of
names of wls-friendly PCPs who refer to him/her. It's all about
hoop-jumping and politics...stay strong, and good luck!
— [Deactivated Member]
September 5, 2001
Bethany, my heart goes out to you!! I suggest calling your surgeons office
(or, the surgeon you hope to use), and ask them if they can refer you to a
WLS friendly PCP. I like the idea that one of the other "posties"
said about clicking on "local peers". Them email them and ask
for a WLS friendly PCP in your area. They would obviously have one this
far into the game. :) Please dont give up. My BMI is only 35.2 with
co-morbids of severe sleep apnea and high cholesterol. Dont give up
hope!!
— skymaxjr
September 5, 2001
UNACCEPTABLE! I am SO sorry you had such a horrible experience, no one
deserves that kind of treatment, absolutely no one! As previous posts have
stated, your best choice is to find PEERS in your area with your same
insurance. That's how I found my PCP! If that doesn't work, then call your
insurance company and find a Bariatric Doctor...they are at least educated
about our disease! Best of luck to you sweetheart.. Chin up!
— sunsect
September 5, 2001
What an &%^$#@$. Why don't you poke him in the head and tell him to
get a CLUE. Get another PCP, don't let this person influence you not even
one bit, not even another minute, another second. If you need to I bet you
can look up a surgeon in your area (FIND A SURGEON), on this site. As them
if they can refer you, or perhaps attend a support group in your area.
HANG IN THERE... good luck.
— Tica G.
September 5, 2001
Bethany, what a creep! I work for doctors, have all my adult life and it is
the few like this A-Hole that give medicine a bad name. Does he work for a
physician group, such as Kaiser or other HMO? If so, write down exactly all
that you said in this post, put it in a letter form including the date of
the visit and send in a complaint. I'll just bet you are NOT the only one
who has done so. If they get enough of them, they either have a
disciplinary hearing or will refuse to renew his contract with their group.
Were there any witnesses? List them if there were. Also, if he practices
at any particular hospital, send your complaint also to the Administration
of that hospital. They are REQUIRED to look into it, and he will be made to
write a specific reply, answering point-by-point every one of your
allegations. THAT will make him squirm. And he'll have to think twice
before he does it to some other poor victim. What a jerk !! If you do
these things, you WILL get a response. That is the procedure to follow.
Good luck to you, Bethany !!!!
— Lisa D.
September 5, 2001
Poking your breast with a pen is ABUSIVE! Report that guy to the Agency
that grants medical licenses in your state. He can and probably will be
severely reprimanded for that sort of behavior! If you file a complaint,
you may very well be protecting other women from his outrageous behavior.
[I wonder what that doctor would say if you were to poke his testes?]
— Kathy J.
September 5, 2001
awww bethany. u poor sweetheart! i also had a dr yell at me about my weight
too. said the same things to me. never saw him again. NO ONE deserves to be
treated like that! that is just plain abusive behavior, pure & simple.
u definitely need to report this so called "doctor" to the powers
that be. i bet he is as skinny as a twig too! i would like to make a
suggestion to u. go to the 'find a doc' section for ur state. pick a couple
of them & call their offices & ask the staff if they can recommend
a pcp to u.
dry ur eyes dear. ur AMOS family understands.
good luck in ur journey.
— sheryl titone
September 5, 2001
First of all, I don't need to tell you how appalled I am that you were
treated in such a way. Ditto to what everyone else has said. Second, I
don't believe that this Doctor (or whatever he is) gets to define morbidly
obese. The insurance industry defines it as a BMI of 40 or above. He
doesn't get a vote!! In that case with most insurance companies, you do not
need co-morbidities. Run, don't walk, to another PCP. GOod luck and God
bless.
— Dorothy T.
September 5, 2001
I am the POSTER of this "?" thanks for the support and advice
and emails. I want all of you to know that i found this particular PCP
through a WLS patient or surgeon. I used the peers sect. and emailed around
and wallah there was his name and he could get me an appt. the next week.
Luckily i can change PCP's every 24 hours! i hope i wont have to do it
again. i dont know if my bruised soul can handle much more. What really
really P-ed me off about this guy was that he was constantly saying i was
fat fat fat, and then no you are not fat you are not ill, only women in
their 40's have stress incontinence. of course he had to tell me he lost 15
pounds on his fast and it worked for him it will work for me GRRRRRR I SO
TIRED. and this is only the beginning, i know
love you guys,
devlchylde
— Bethany M.
September 5, 2001
I am from Evansville IN and my PCP was wonderful she helped me throughout
everything her name is Kelly Perkins. Could not ask for a better one.
Call your insurance company and find out if you even need a referal from
your PCP and what doctor in your network will they cover for this surgery.
— Mary J.
September 6, 2001
How horrible for you that this happened, the pen thing is
abusive and could be considered sexual abuse! The fasting
thing too- that sounds very unhealthy to me! I know I have done
so much to my poor body that is what got me to where I was
anyway- PLEASE report him by letter like suggested by others
and keep a copy of the letter and ask for a timely RESPONSE!
Then please let us know how things turn out- you know with
a letter like that to stick up for yourself you are also sticking
up for ALL of us. Thanks for sharing and best of luck, I'm
thinking good thoughts for you!...
— [Anonymous]
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