Question:
Want WLS Bad, but now i am stalling. Encouragement needed!!!!!!

HI i seem to be having trouble getting things done pertaining to this surgery. I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, so i know whats wrong with me to a point. I have a VERY difficult time getting in chat, just because i am scared to say anything. I called around surgeons offices to find a WLS friendly PCP and let me tell you that was rough. NO the receptionists or whoever were nice i just freak out and cry quite a bit when i call people. (social anxiety) Right now what i am asking for is encouragement to continue going to the doctors, and possibly someone to converse with on a more regular basis at any stage of the whole WLS process. I live in Jeffersonville IN right now, and i know there are WLS meetings in downtown Louisville but i dont have the balls to show up at one and NOT know anyone. that would be a serious panic attack just driving there. well thanks to everyone for reading Beth    — Bethany M. (posted on August 30, 2001)

August 30, 2001
Hey lady!! I don't know your situtation, but I certainly know the feelings that you are having. I put off social things all the time if I think that they might be too physically demanding or embarrasing. I also did not want to have this surgery at first for several reasons - one was that it was too embarrsing to tell people about -- like "hey, I can't control my self so I think I'll go be surgically altered." I thought that people would be disgusted by my desperation. To the contrary - they are scared but very supportive. In fact, they are willing to lie steal and cheat for me if that is what it takes to get me approved!! (Of course, I'm exagerating - but, they are very helpful.) Another thing that worried me was that it seemed so drastic - so new and dangerous. One thing that helped was that my doctor explained to me that this is not a new surgery. It has been performed for 100 years - jsut for other reasons besides weight control. Think about it...what about those people that survived stomach cancer? How do you think that happened? They probably nhad part of their stomach removed and intestines rearranged. That made me much less afraid and much more at ease. Sweetie -- you are a grown woman in the United States of America. That alone means that you are capable of things that women in other parts of the world are not. You have power that you don't even know about. And you have the strength to go through this if it's what you want. Talk to some people that have already done it and see how happy they are. Good luck!
   — Tammi H.

August 30, 2001
Hi Beth! I completely understand what you're going through! When I first started thinking about having the surgery, I was completely freaked out by the thought of "volunteering" myself for surgery! I know it's a big step, believe me, but it's going to be the best thing I've ever done FOR MYSELF! I know you're scared honey, but after you make the first step and go to a support group meeting or meet with a surgeon, then your whole perspective changes! As for the support group meetings, I cannot express how awesome it feels to be in a room with people who know what your going through and know what it feels like to be obese! I felt welcome and sooooo comfortable! If I were you, I'd definitely give it a chance! I know you're scared and I know it's hard, but once you decide to take the first step, the rest is SO simple! Another thing, I am only 18 years old and I was the youngest person in my support group, but everyone there treated me very nicely and I can't wait to go back! I know if I can do it, anyone can! GOOD LUCK!
   — Kristen S.

August 30, 2001
I wish I was closer to you, but I live in another state so I can't invite you to my support group. However, I know that the people I've met at the support groups were the nicest folks in the world. Many of them have been just where you are and I know they'll be understanding. You have some diagnoses of problems, who diagnosed them? Is it a therapist you can talk to about some of these issues? Also, what about your current PCP? Is he/she not WLS friendly? Many aren't, but you may be surprised. If nothing else, keep coming here and reading the posts and maybe we can collectively boost your confidence.
   — kcanges

August 30, 2001
Dear Bethany: I had my open RNY surgery on 7/25 and I've lost 30 pounds by five weeks. I am beginning to feel like a new person. I am so much happier now. Perhaps the surgery will actually help you to gain the confidence you need to be around other people. I am a loner so I know how hard it is to be around strangers. I went to OA for quite a while and it was always difficult reading and speaking in front of strangers. Good luck. You can E-Mail me at [email protected]. (New York)
   — Roberta S.

August 31, 2001
A trip to the "before/after" pictures helps me and inspires me.
   — Cindee A.

July 16, 2003
Hi i know how you feel about the surgery. I feel like im going to die if i don't do something about my weight, but am afraid. I have the panic attacks terribly just to go to the doctor for a sore throat!Everytime they have a lecture about the surgery, I say im going, but then chicken out! I have tried to go in the chatroom, but am afraid and leave. I live in des moines Ia. I would love to be your e-mail pal and maybe we could help each other. PLEASE. My e-mail address is [email protected] Hope to hear from you, you are not alone,I need someone to help me!
   — Nancy M.