Question:
Scared of being the same.

I am having my surgery in September. I am scared. I am not really afraid of dying or anything. I figure if that is part of God's plan so be it. I am scared that my life won't be any better than in it now. Right now, life for me isn't much fun. I am single, I am not working, I am on disibility, I am on antidepressants, I got some medical problems that need to be taken care of which is why I want the surgery in the first place. I am just afraid that after the surgery I will be still be miserable. I am hoping my life changes somewhat. Has anyone else felt this way? Thanks.    — [Anonymous] (posted on August 9, 2001)

August 8, 2001
I think the surgery will make some drastic changes in your life physically. The mental changes are up to you. Surgery doesn't help depression. If you want to be happy, you must look within yourself and decide what you need to do to get there. If your physical condition is what is truly causing your unhappiness, then maybe it is all you need. If it is something else, it may be a good idea to see a therapist to find out what you can do to help yourself. I wish you the best of luck, I hope you find the answers.
   — [Anonymous]

August 8, 2001
I agree with the poster above. The surgery will help you to lose weight (if you follow the guidelines afterwards). But you really will need counseling to deal with the changes as well as the other issues you're having now. Good luck.
   — Kimberly L.

August 9, 2001
Well surgery helped MY depression. I got depressed over my downhill physical condition and diabetes, then it got worse because I beat myself up because I realized there was no way to loose the weight witout surgery. Friends with their eat right and exercise more dribble didnt help. I am down 30 pounds in 2 weeks and feel great. Depressin lifted too. I HOPE you are so lucky.
   — bob-haller

August 9, 2001
Hi. I know how you feel. I was SO depressed about my physical condition, that I was constantly depressed. The surgery by itself doesn't make your depression go away, but having hope for the first time in years does do much to improve your outlook on things. Just be prepared however, it doesn't happen overnight. In fact, some people have post-op depression ... for a little while. It comes on because of all the rapid changes in your body. The anesthesia may play a role. Please look into a therapist. There are many places that have free or very low cost counseling. My surgeon recommends counseling for all his patients post-op, not just those who have a history of depression. You need the help to deal with all the changes, even though they are good ones. Issues you never expected will sometimes come to the forefront. It helps to have a therapist who is familiar with weight issues. Please look into it. It will make a tremendous difference and can be a lifesaver. I know. If you need to talk, or have more questions, feel free to email me at [email protected]. Maria
   — Maria H.

August 9, 2001
Oh, sweetie ... been there, done that, own the t-shirt concession! My life, pre-op, was a black hole. I hated myself, I hated my life, I hated everybody IN my life, I was depressed, I was on meds, I was a type II diabetic and an asthmatic with sleep apnea, my clothes never fit and I had no energy. Today, 16 months and 125 pounds later, I'm now not depressed, on a maintenance dose of my antidepressants (my depression is chemical, rather than emotional in origin) that is 1/3 the amount it was pre-op, I no longer have asthma, sleep apnea, or type II diabetes, and I have energy to burn. I also don't hate myself or the people in my life. Which is not to say my life's been a bed of roses -- it HASN'T -- but I'm much more equipped to deal with whatever comes my way because I'm not consumed with my weight and my looks and my sense of hopelessness about both of the above. Take courage, my dear. It WILL get better ... in its own time and in its own way. Good luck and God bless ... and let us know how you get on. Love,
   — Cheryl Denomy

August 9, 2001
I'm a year out from surgery and I've only lost 80 pounds. I'm still single, still fat, still middle-aged, but I feel wonderful. Before the surgery I was in constant pain and I was always exhausted. Losing just 80 pounds has given me enough energy that I can deal with the rest of my life much better. Also, food isn't always my first choice for dealing with my problems.........eventually I may not use it at all. Life will change. You can control how much it will change by becoming a full-participant in your own life.
   — Nanette T.

August 9, 2001
I do know how you feel and I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. Wls isn't going to make you a different person. It isn't going to change your life...only you can do that. If you are unhappy in your job, if your kids are out of control, if you have a bad marriage, if your mother-in-law hates you, if you can't find a boyfriend, if you can't find a job...and....you have wls ....none of those things will change. You'll be thinner and your physical health will improve. The other things in your life will all remain the same. Because wls doesn't change the essence of you. It doesn't change who you are. But, hopefully, after surgery your health and self-esteem will improve and you will acquire the strength and confidence to make the changes that will help you build the life you want. Good Luck.
   — [Anonymous]