Question:
Coping without food under stress

Today Jen my wife was hospilitazed for chest pains and shortness of breath. Looks like she will be OK thank God. Now after 8 hours at the hospital I came home to get stuff she needed and take a break. I ate everything that was around here and am still hungry:( How do post ops deal ewith stuff like this? I never realized how stress drove my appetite untill today.    — bob-haller (posted on June 8, 2001)

June 8, 2001
I had and do have the same problem. I have to totally avoid the fridge when things like that happen. I grab a bottle of water, take my big behind outside and either go for a walk or sit out on the stoop and read a book or something. Otherwise, I will have atleast a bite of everything in the house.
   — Tracy C.

June 8, 2001
Dear Bob: I will be praying for your wife's speedy recovery. <p> Here's some stress busters: dance to your favorite CD, go for a walk, call a friend, write in your profile, clean house, pull some weeds, eat a protien bar, keep fresh fruit in the house and no junk (just finished off some fresh cherries out of boredom myself), drink 20 oz. of water before you eat anything, get in the chatroom, read a book, etc. All in all, you just need to keep busy! <p> Hey, I'm a stress/emotional/bored eater myself. We find ways to cope, and sometimes we slip. Thank goodness that this pouch of mine just won't let me eat too much!
   — Allie B.

June 8, 2001
I said a prayer , and I hope your wife will be alright. When stress gets the best of me and I need to crunch , I make 97%fat free pop corn and crunch away. I even keep it in my drawer in work. Good luck.
   — Rose A.

June 8, 2001
I hope you and your wife get through this stressful time and both be healthy. I didn't realize how much of an emotional eater I was until I was post op. I do NOT like getting sick which I've done a couple of times because I ate too fast or didn't chew it well. I will NOT touch anything that I know or even think will make me sick. However, sometimes I think to myself that I really really would like to have ice cream and cookies (comfort food for me). I think about it A LOT, but never touch it. The thought goes away pretty. I was a sweet freak, sugarholic and I never-ever thought I'd get to the point where I would not eat sweets, but I don't and it has been 5 months today and I am minus 65 lbs. Good luck ... we're ALL in this together.
   — Betty Todd

June 9, 2001
Dear Bob, I hope your wife is on the road to recovery. To be honest with you dealing with the stress after surgery is difficult without the food. Since I had surgery my father died (we were not close), I met a sister I didn't know I had and my mther-in-law is dying of lung cancer. There have been times that I wanted to reach for the food but knew I couldn't and that made me angry - I had to actually deal with my fealings for maybe the first time in my life! I've done OK, but last night I had a living nightmare. My beautiful 18-year-old daughter told us that her "friend" (I use that term loosly) tried to rape her. Talk about having the wind knocked out of you!!! I don't know what to do for her or how to help her and I just want to scream. So far I've eaten a little more than I usually do, but have tried to stick with "better" foods like protein instead of reaching for sweets like I used to. In a way I can't believe I'm even eating since my stomach hurts so much. I know we're going to get through this, but right now it really hurts!
   — [Anonymous]

June 9, 2001
Bob, I know exactly what you mean. In the last four weeks, both my parents went from being independent to being wheelchair bound, requiring extensive care. The stress is unbelievable. I found myself eating a sandwich and a half. Now, previously, that would have been 6-7 sandwiches, so this surgery has prevented me from eathing large quantities, but I know I could easily end up with grazing as my new compulsive overeating habit. So, when I have returned to Overeater's Anonymous and am back working the tools I know will help keep me from compulsive overeating. It is a disease, can be relieved and is nothing to be ashamed of. I will keep losing weight thanks to this surgery, but a part of me wanted the DS so that I could lose weight and still compulsively overeat. I know that the insanity of compulsive overeating is 'head hunger', and I am, at least for today, going to do what I need to do to take care of that for myself. Overeater's Anonymous has a website that can help you find chapter meetings all over the United States. Look up the address in any search engine. Good Luck to you!
   — merri B.

June 9, 2001
I answered previously that my daughter's friend tried to rape her. Well, he did and I've ben a wreck all day. I've eaten all kinds of stuff I shouldn't. I have to admit that I even wanted a drink - something I've never wanted before in my whole life! I hope and pray that this pain and anger goes away soon.
   — [Anonymous]

June 10, 2001
Dear Anonymous, Please know that your daughter is not alone. My 17 year old daughter was raped by a family friend 3 years ago. it has been a nightmare and she has been through alot of counseling and also admitted into pshyc hospitals because of this. She became a "cutter" too to ease the pain. Three years later everything is wonderful again because we dealt with this right away except the court thing which dragged on and never happened due to attorney's putting it off. Then 3 days ago, we found out that this man was just killed in a car accident. It brought back alot of feelings for my daughter and one of those was that she was not able to confront him and now never will be. I guess my point is, deal with this NOW. Make sure that she is telling you all of the facts and that he didn't really rape her and she is just too embarrassed to tell you. This is so common. If this is bothering her terribly, get her help immediately. Better to deal with this now rather than later in her life. Good luck to you. Write me if you need to...i am here for you.
   — Barbara H.