Question:
Please allow me to rant for a while...
If I step on a few toes here, I apologize in advance. There have been a few recent questions from folks who are afraid of ruining their weight loss because of excess sugar, fats, and/or quantity of food. Following is a sample of answers from very knowledgeable, successful, and well- intentioned post-ops. "The only way to keep the scale moving is to ....." "To reach your goal weight, you must ....." "If you consume more than ....., plan on going up one dress size" "If you eat ....., you run the risk of going back to old habits" These statements, while accurate as stated, seem to contain an un-stated message that is very powerful, and to my way of thinking, potentially harmful. And that message is: "If you eat too much ....., and therefore only get down to a Size 8, you would have screwed up your one chance for success. To be truly successful, you must reach your 'Goal Weight'". These unspoken words only serve to intimidate. In fact, it seems to me that what is being prescribed is a very paranoid relationship with food. Personally, I became Morbidly Obese because (of among other things) my horrible eating habits in terms of quantity and quality of food. With this surgery's help, I was hoping to attain a balanced and healthy diet. I think this can be attained without getting into a panic and guilt trip every time I eat "bad food". To me, it just isn't worth it. We need to remember that WLS is not intended to be "Cosmetic Surgery". If my memory serves, my insurance company was willing to pay for my surgery NOT because it gave me the opportunity to once again have a 28" waistline, but ONLY because of its ability to improve my health. And to that end, it has worked (and I would guess has worked for the vast majority of post-ops). If you have improved your health and happiness, you are a complete success in my book. In these 5 1/2 months, I have lost 135 pounds (out of 190 excess), and now weigh 240 pounds. I assume I would "look better" at 185 pounds than I do now. But would I really be any healthier? Should that make me any happier? Particularly from where I came? Let me tell you, I consider myself 100% successful right now, and it won't go up with additional pounds lost. ANY OTHER MINDSET ON MY PART WOULD ONLY ADD TO MY STRESS, AND THEREFORE DETRACT FROM MY UNBRIDLED JOY THIS SURGERY HAS BROUGHT. Let's try to enjoy this wonderful journey to better health!! Kevin — meilankev (posted on February 15, 2001)
February 15, 2001
THANK YOU so much for voicing that! It definitely needs to be said. It
think we get caught up in the compliments and the new clothes, and we
forget what motivated us in the first place. This is about health &
that's the most important part! Thanks for the reality check!
— [Anonymous]
February 15, 2001
Your statement and I guess it is a statement ? Is a little confusing to me
I would look at it as you know have some real options like if you don't
want to be a size 8 don't be
If you want to loose 10 more pounds you can if you don't that's up to you.
No one is making you do anything just like no one made me eat a quart of
Ice cream but I did but I now have a tool that helps me but I still have to
choose.
— Mike H.
February 15, 2001
Very well said....I am going to copy it to the Dallasites Egroup for WLS
patients. We often don't realize how powerful the mind is. A negative
thought or comment does have an effect on our bodies.....a scientific
proven fact. Thanks for enlightning me....hopefully others will see your
comments in the spirit in which they were meant. Good Luck!
Thom <77> Open RNY 10/18/00
— Thom C.
February 15, 2001
I agree to some degree with everyone's statement, but especially Mike's,
about the ability to choose. The definition of success is very personal
and unique to each individual. Let's not confuse it with
complacency.<br><br>I think the greatest aspect is to have
realistic post-op expectations. Any good surgeon will give you an estimate
as to how much weight you will lose. Personally, I am at my physician's
expectation 9.5 months after surgery. However, I know I can do better, and
I will. I have no desire to be a size 8, but I like Barb's size 12, and
that's my personal goal, a size not a weight. No matter what our personal
goals are, we must make peace with food like Barb said. Moderation and
exercise are the keys for lifetime maintenance.<br><br>My
health issues are resolved, and now I want my beauty. Losing a lot of
weight rapidly makes for some unpleasant looking skin, which can also cause
other problems along the way. I'm researching plastic surgery right now.
I know a lot of people feel the same way, and we shouldn't be condemned for
our choices. Everyone has a different comfort level, we should all do our
best to make the most of our tools. Best wishes for your continued
personal success!
— [Deactivated Member]
February 15, 2001
Bravo Kevin!
This group has many well intentioned, helpful people, but
what works for one doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes
our advice, however well meaning, does sound judgemental.
FOR ME, compulsive behavior is compulsive behavior- whether
that is eating compulsively (before surgery) or compulsively
NOT eating certain things (after surgery). My goal is
to NOT do anything compulsively, and this surgery has worked
wonderfully! Now, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want,
like most people do. The surgery gave me freedom from food.
I am a size 8-10 now, by the grace of God, but my goal has
been met- my life is not controlled by food.
— M B.
February 16, 2001
I agree with you Kevin. I hear people saying that we will never lose all
our weight if we eat any sugar at all. Eating should be a joyful
experience as well as a life sustaining one. I allow myself a little sugar
because it makes me happy. I started at almost 400 lbs and and down to 271
lbs...I would consider myself a success even if I don't lose another pound.
I don't have a true weight goal in mind but I would like to get down below
200 lbs. My health has improved tenfold with the weight I've lost so far
and I plan to keep going, but I'm not going to be obsessive about it. I've
had enough obession in my life!!!
— Kellie L.
February 16, 2001
Kevin: DITTOS to you and congratulations on this joyful experience in your
life and health. I echo all of your remarks. I am down to a size 14/16
from a size 26/28 in 10 months. If I never lose another pound, I believe
my WLS was a tremendous success. I notice in the chatroom, people are
always asking about 'goal weights' and I don't have one. My BMI seems to
indicate I need to lose another 13 pounds to be in the "IDEAL"
range, which is fine -- but I feel "IDEAL" already. I'm sure
I'll lose more weight, but I can now walk through the mall without pain and
needing to sit down all the time, I can actually jog on my treadmill, I'm
off of most all my fibromyalgia pain medications, and I have energy again.
I still love food -- and am thrilled to be satisfied with lesser amounts.
I get my protein by eating real food, I eat sugar in lesser degrees than
before and I'm doing fine. Perhaps we should preface our advice with
comments like "IF you want to lose more weight, THEN you could try
thus and so . . ." Good thoughts Kevin and again, congrats!
— Cindy H.
February 16, 2001
YEA!! for saying what many of us are feeling. I'm pre-op and so tired of
hearing people tell me how much I'm going to have to "change my
lifestyle" with the surgery. Many of us have an ok lifestyle now.
You know eating whatever you want isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes we
need to educate ourselves about what our food contains, that's fine. But
if we obsess over eating for weight loss alone, we don't achieve the best
health. So many people are trying to get me to diet instead of doing the
surgery. Everytime I see their suggestions I get angry. They want me to
eat food that is low in fat but steeped in chemicals, Low in sugar but
containing appetite enhancers (nutrasweet and sacharin). I want this
surgery so I can eat the best stuff for my body and then not be so darn
hungry that I put bad things on top of it.
I was just trying to explain to someone why I have such a problem with
Weight Watchers. If it was Health Watchers, I wouldn't mind so much.
Previous comments about "success" are right in line with what
I've been saying. I do yoga, and everytime I do it I'm a success. It has
nothing to do with whether or not I lose weight. It has to do with getting
to know my body and listening to it and trying to stretch it to do just a
little more.
All of us are successes because we take the time to care about ourselves.
As soon as we start thinking that our weight is a measure of our value we
lose sight of the value we already have.
— kcanges
February 16, 2001
I haven't been on a diet since I had my surgery 7 months ago. I don't eat
fake chemical food. I don't drink diet sodas, I don't try to focus on only
eating 3 times a day, I don't do anything the way I use to, that's what got
me fat and very unhealthy.The fat is just one symptom of what I have.
Basically I'm kind to myself
— Corrine L.
February 16, 2001
Kevin, I wish you could hear me whistling and clapping right now! Very
well said! Psst...I have a secret! I consider myself VERY lucky to
tolerate sugar and dairy and all manners of food. Yes, I have binged.
Yes, I have grazed. Yes, I have drank with my meals and taken large bites
and eaten chocolate. And yes, I have lost 80 lbs. I have also put a stash
of chocolate in my drawer and forgotten about it - that in itself is
considered a success in my book. Other successes: the ability to jump
back on the program after stress eating for a week and lose more weight;
the ability to partake in food-centric celebrations without conspicuously
eating too much or too little; the joy of discovering how versitile and
delicious fish is; the freedom of eating a bag of chips in a week rather
than a sitting; the nutritional (albeit highly debatable in this forum)
value of drinking milk once in awhile instead of Diet Pepsi constantly. I
do not and will not deny myself anything I want - to do that only creates
cravings and resentment, which will surely sabotage my success. The key to
my success has been moderation - not deprivation, and if it means I'll have
to settle for a size 12, or 160 lbs., I will consider myself blessed.
— Allie B.
February 16, 2001
Bravo Kevin (clap,clap,clap).I am a pre-op and sometimes I get tired of
hearing that if I want to be successful, a bite of
sugar/milk/chocolate/whatever.....should never cross my lips again. My
months of research has shown me that each person reacts differentally to
surgery and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. I for
one hope I can drink milk and eat surgar in moderation ofter surgery.
Eating Snickers bars every day (which I could easily do now) may not be
great for weight loss, but I fail to see how taking a bite or two of one
occassionally is the path to failure.
— Karen F.
February 17, 2001
KEVIN!!! Well said. In 4 months, I have lost about 1/3 of the weight I wish
to lose. Will I be at my "goal weight"? No, not by a long shot.
Will I be healthier? Yes. Do I feel better now? Yes. Do I obsess about
food? No. Telling me I cannot eat certain foods is just as bad as all of
the 120lb people telling me how they lost 5 lbs on their "magical
diet".
After a lifetime of eating the wrong foods everyday, every meal, I will not
be preached to about what I can or cannot eat now. Even though I am still
morbidly obese by the charts, I am finally eating to fuel my body and not
out of emotional comfort. The most wonderful thing is the weight is coming
off like it should.
— [Anonymous]
Click Here to Return