Question:
Is it really possible to change a lifestyle if the past is filled with failures?

I really need to know so here it is ... I have always struggled with low self-esteem, self doubt, isolation, sabatoging behavior, etc. I worry about being strong enough to suceed, as I have always failed at WL in the past. I would really like to hear from those who suffered from the same yet were able to suceed and live a new and healthy lifestyle--mentally and physically. Question: Is WLS only for the very strong or can the not-so-strong be sucessful too?    — cynthiaellis (posted on December 12, 2000)

December 12, 2000
I am 11 months post-op from an rny surgery with dr. Kaderabek of Indianapolis/Carmel, IN. To date, I have lost 155 lbs. I exercise relatively often and I eat the way I am supposed to (right now at 11 mos. post-op I eat 1600-1800 calories a day, low fat, high protein, low-sugar, supplements, carnation protein shakes) and it's relatively easy. I have done hypnosis a handful of times, jenny craig, weight watchers (signed up 30-40 times in a 8-year period), nutrasystem, Tops(several times but hey great group), slimfast, citrimax, accupressure, mayo clinic diet, some self-concocted diets, had binge-purge bulimia for several years, and just a host of other efforts. Let us not call them failures. Instead let's call them "efforts." I am cured. I took with me all of the good sensible things I've learned and read and applied them once I had my surgery. Because once I had the surgery I was ABLE for once to control my eating and for once it was not a 3-day or 1-week short-lived fiasco. It is not perfect but the good outweighs the bad for most who had it done. That said, I do not think you should have dreary foresight. Everyone is afraid of failure. It makes a lot of sense to give up. After several years of being obese I felt the epitome of defeated. And I wondered why my manic depression was in full swing! The weight was 90% of my problem. I always have to sigh when someone makes a remark such as, "Just because you'll lose the weight doesn't mean your problems will disappear or you'll be happy." That is a bunch of whooey. It is like winning the lottery being thin after living like an elephant. I am in no way saying this is an easy way out/sure thing. It is very serious with several lifestyle adjustments and ramifications involved. I know this much: It is an opportunity. An opportunity to finally succeed. If you get this surgery it will enhance your life because the weight will come off. It will be easier to get through a day eating 1,000 calories in the future after sugery than it is now.
   — [Deactivated Member]

December 12, 2000
I really feel so bad to hear you describe yourself, and all your "failures". You have a disease called morbid obesity. You tried really hard to cure yourself of this terrible disease by willpower alone, and it didn't work, so you say you failed. Really, it is all the diets that have failed, and all the people around you failed by allowing you to blame yourself. I felt sure that there was no hope at all for me to lose weight until I found out about weight-loss-surgery. Then I thought, it worked for all those other people, but it probably won't work for me. But, months and months later, after reading the profiles of many WLS successes, I realized that all these people with the amazing success stories are just regular people like me and you. It takes a measure of bravery to choose surgery, and to go through with it, but it really doesn't take a heroic effort to be successful with the weight loss. You just have to realize what a precious gift it is to be given a second chance at life, and that will help you stick with your doctor's recommendations. Please, do choose a surgeon who has a good follow-up program with nutritionists and support groups. These are the people that will keep you motivated when you get down, and will walk you through the whole process step-by-step. Good Luck! You really CAN do this!
   — Lynn K.

December 12, 2000
I have been where you are, and I must say that I am glad I had been through counseling before I had the surgery. I don't think everyone needs to have counseling to have WLS, but I have talked to others who have failed with the surgery, and they attribute their failure to not being psychologically stable before the surgery. Whether you ever have surgery or not, you owe it to yourself to get help to get rid of whatever it is that causes you to have such low self esteem and all the garbage that it comes with. There is a wonderful world out there, waiting for people like you to realize all that they are and all that they have to give. You are worth the effort and help that counseling gives. Good luck in your decision. Jill
   — Jill C.