Question:
HOW CAN I STOP EATING

I do not be hungry but I still eat. I have just come off of a long plateau with lots of weight loss afterwards - but I cannot stop eatting. I do not eat a lot I just pick here and there and especially tootsie rolls. (FAT FREE) I am not happy and I am at the 80 pound mark for loss. i feel like I am just here - sometimes and I do not really know where to go or what to do. I come to this site at least 30 times a day and just read but I still feel as if I am not going to find the answer I need. I am past the stage where I just cry for no reason - now I cannot even cry at all. It is almost like I have no feelings left at all. I am just HERE and food is just there. I don't want it and I do not even taste it, but I keep eating it and no - I have not stretched my pouch (RNY) and no I do not purge and No I am not seeing a therapist and I will not even consider that one again (what a joke) I think I just want someone out there that can understand me, that is like me and that knows where I am coming from to respond to me. Please let me hear from you - where ever you are. Please!    — [Anonymous] (posted on September 28, 2000)

September 28, 2000
Yes, I DO UNDERSTAND where you are coming from! I spent most of my life that way. It was always a fight between my real hunger and my "head hunger." I am now about 8 or 9 wk post op and I am hoping that this will not "click back in" again. So far, I eat when I am supposed to and have to make myself eat more to try to get about 500 calories a day. It is a real scarry feeling to think that this might come back. I really feel for you. Have you every tried OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS? They talk a lot about "feelings" and how not to take that "One" bite that will set you off and running. They also make lists of their "binge" foods and stay away from them by using each other and meetings as a support system. There are meetings in many areas of the country. You can look in your telephone directory for the number of their main office. They will be able to tell you where there are meetings in your area. I'd hate to see you go backwards. Please consider a support system if this continues to happen. I am sure you haven't come this far to see yourself fail. GOOD LUCK!!
   — kathy S.

September 28, 2000
I understand you...I know how it feels to be 'just here' because I have felt that way before too. I read and reread your post and I am sensing that you are lonely and bored. I am sensing, too, that those 80 lbs. you've lost didn't bring about the changes in your life that you may have expected. So it seems that you are using food for a friend and entertainment. But it also seems instead of experiencing head hunger that you are punishing yourself and are trying to sabotage your progress because you state that you don't want food, and you can't even taste it. I am also concerned that you don't even cry anymore. You mention that you will not go to therapist, because you didn't like your last experience. But I think what you are going through is beyond any phase of post-op WLS. I believe you are depressed and trying to use food as the outlet because it is comfortable. And this is making you angry at yourself. I think you should run, not walk, to the nearest support group, be it OA or through your surgeon. Also, I would suggest that you get out your provider handbook and call therapists specializing in eating disorders and depression. Speak to 3 or 4 and tell them that you want to evaluate them before choosing a therapist, and ask if they would spend 15-20 minutes with you for a free consultation. You'd be suprised how many are willing to do this. Then, you can choose the therapist you are most comfortable with. Also, feel free to email me at anytime...I'm concerned about you and you'll be in my prayers.
   — Allie B.

September 28, 2000
I am and have been where you are. You are bored and you grazed, nibble all day. Then you hate yourself for doing it and you do a little more. First the more you try to gain control the more control you will be able to have. Start small. This is how I am starting to work it out. 1. start doing a little exersizing. 2. start cutting out sugar 3. I take L.glutamine and Chromium Picolinate to help with sugar addiction ( I am very sugar addicted)and it helps to ease my carb cravings. 4. Increase your protein by taking a supplement at least once a day. 5. Drink water a little at a time but with every free moment. 6. read every motivating thing you can that relates to weighloss and exercise. ( works as sort of a subliminal message) 7. stop beating yourself up 8. stop beating yourself up! You can do these things in any order that pleases you. Everytime you say no to a food your head tells you to eat you gain a little more control. Pat yourself on the back every time you are sucessful. Most of all take small steps. Behavior changes comes from practice practice practice. Be determined to beat this. Show yourself you will not let it win. Think of it as the devil coaxing you to do the thing you want least to do, and how happy he is everytime you succumb. (just a little mental imaging). If you have any other concerns or just want to talk email me at [email protected]
   — L. N.

September 28, 2000
I am more concerned about your state of mind than wether or not you are controlling your eating. As you said you have and continue to lose weight so that is not the issue. Your statements like not being able to find the answer you need, being past the point of crying, having not feelings left at all...those are all statement that are made when a person is in depression. You must see your doctor and get help for the depression. Depression is treatable. I know this from experience. I was diagnosed over five years ago. It took going to a couple of doctors before I was able to find one I was comfortable with and who finally found the correct anti depressant for me...but since then I feel much much better. A lot of times the eating disorder is a part of the depression' and even if it is not it is much easier to deal with when you are no longer feeling so miserable and hopeless. Trust me, and go to your doctor, any doctor and be honest about your thoughts and how you feel. Been there and care TL
   — Terilyne R.

September 28, 2000
You know, as I start slowing down in the losing the weight department, I have a harder time with the head hunger. I think when we are in that "honey moon" phase of the weight falling off and everybody noticing, we keep motivated. Then, life goes back to normal (whatever normal is) and we are back to dealing with life. Some things that help me are: Drinking water-keeping a water bottle IN HAND when I feel like compulsively eating- I just compulsively sip:) I also do better if I am consistant in my walking. And I have been counselled by a therapist (here is a freebee for you) to journal. Now I HATE journaling- have been fighting doing it for years,but, unfortunately, it does help. Good Luck and hang in there!
   — M B.

September 28, 2000
When you find an answer to this, please let me know! I am 1.5 year post-op from my second by-pass and for the last 6 months, I have tried to think of anything to help me concer this problem. My son left for college and I am going through the emply nest syndrom and all I seem to do is eat! I am so distraught I am not sure what to do.
   — Renee C.

September 28, 2000
I suggest reading <b>Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating</b> or <b>Feeding the Hungry Heart</b> by Geneen Roth. You might want to check out Overeaters Anonymous. Don't just sit and eat and then beat yourself up and then feel worse and eat more and on and on and on. You can take action. You've proven that by having weight loss surgery in the first place. Addictions are hard to beat but it can be done!!! You deserve a good life, please take steps toward healing. Don't forget that we are here for you!!
   — Roseann M.