Question:
What do people say when you go out to eat with friends and family
I was wondering what do people say when you go out to eat because you can only eat a little bit. My Dad is against the surgery, and I am afraid to eat around him if I dont't get enough to eat, Also If you go out on a date what do you tell your date if you cant eat to much? Thanks — peaceangel58 (posted on September 7, 2000)
September 7, 2000
Just tell them you're watching what you eat and that should be enough.
When you go out to eat, bypass the bread and beverage; focus on your meal.
Remember, you're doing this for yourself not for anyone else; it's not
important what anyone thinks...right? Best of luck!
— cheryl W.
September 7, 2000
When I go out to eat I usually order an appitizer as my meal depending on
what is available. If you are ordering your own food and making decisions
for your self regarding your diet than no one else's thought about what you
eat should matter. Most dates don't or should not make an issue of what you
order. If the do inform them that you are eating light this evening. Sorry
to hear about your Dad. Share all the info you can with him and if he is
open to reading it he will prob. change his mind. If not, like the post
before me said it is your life and you have to live it. Good Luck...Peace
Trina
— Courtrina Amur W.
September 7, 2000
Can I relate to this! My husband and mother are both completely freaked
out by how little I eat. I was on vacation last week, and most nights for
dinner had soup and grilled vegetables or a baked potato, mostly because
other stuff either doesn't sit right (and I'm not really looking to upchuck
in a restaurant) or there's just too much food, and I don't feel like
eating it for the next ten meals. I just eat what I can, even when we go
out. I figure what I put in my mouth is nobody's business but mine. I've
actually had more problems with wait staff not believing I don't want
something to drink with my meal -- even a glass of water! Just take it as
it comes ... even your Dad will come around, eventually, and, even if he
doesn't, that's okay too. Good thoughts always,
— Cheryl Denomy
September 7, 2000
Good questions, Debra. As far as your dad is concerned, I'm sorry he's
against your surgery, but it not a big surprise. Family members and
friends often feel this way until after the surgery and then they start
seeing weight come off. My mom was against it, but now I can see she is
excited about the weight and health results I am having. I saw my parents
over Labor Day. We went out to eat several times, and it was hard for my
dad to see so much leftover food on my plate. But I tell him that I cannot
make myself sick for the sake of eating everything on my plate, and he
agrees with that. I figure he'll get used to it. It has made both my
parents choose better quality restaurants since I do not do fast food at
all, and I need a restaurant that has stuff other than fried foods on the
menu. Since WLS, I have become so aware of just how much food people eat
at one sitting - it's unbelievable. And we get all kinds of temptations to
supersize it on top of that. 2 weeks ago I went out to lunch with
co-workers and just ordered an appetizer. Didn't have room for the bread
or salad that came to the table. I just explained that I didn't have room
for everything, and that was that. I think one idea is to focus on the
conversation of those around the table. While they are eating, you can be
chatting. This takes everyone's focus away rom your empty plate. Good
luck!
— Paula G.
September 7, 2000
Hi Debra: I too find it funny trying to convince the waitress that I don't
want ANYTHING to drink. Now, I just give up and say Water. Then, I give
my water to someone else when theirs is empty. I've discovered that most
restaurants have really delicious soups! And, what a money-saving thing!
Soups are delicious, filling, and cheap! wow! Or soup and salad, but with
really liquidy soups, I have to be careful trying to eat that with other
foods because it is like drinking with my meal which I cannot do - PAIN!
Or, I split a meal with my teenage daughter. Keep the conversation flowing
and I doubt that people will pay a lot of attention to what you are eating
anyway. Tell them you aren't very hungry, which is true, of course! I
love eating out.
— Cindy H.
September 7, 2000
I agree with everyone. At first I tried to explain to the waiters why I
wanted to order off the childs menu to see if he would ask the
manager...but most didnt care and were just rushed and okayed it. So now I
dont even explain and just order what I want. Soups are wonderful and I
also like the rest just ask for water or the waiter will keep checking the
rest of you dinner which my hubby thinks is hilirious! LOL Sorry about your
dad. My father was the same until post op and now he helps everyway he can.
Good Luck!
— VIXYVIX
September 7, 2000
All my friends and family have been very supportive. In the early days,
they were astonished by how little I ate - a true novelty to them. They've
gotten used to it now. I just returned from a vacation. I ordered
appetizers and would share with my preschoolers and had no waste. I don't
mind paying for the food if it will be eaten, but I hate to box up an
entree to eat for the next week. I felt very normal and enjoyed
everything. I usually have a glass of tea (I bring along my packets of
Splenda) and have it finished by the time the meal comes. No drinking
after I've started a meal, unless I'm having soup. I also have a
restaurant card to present to the wait staff if I have any problems with
ordering. So far, I haven't had to use it, but have it just in case. I
would suspect that I would not patronize any restaurant that gave me a hard
time. I'm just very upfront about my surgery. I've accepted morbid
obesity as a disease and my RNY is the tool to manage it. My disease is
something I will have to manage for the rest of my life, and I couldn't be
anything but upfront and honest to anyone I would date. It's just part of
the "total package" of me. Everyone around me is amazed at my
results, and we all know it's not over yet. But this time, it'll be the
<b><i>SKINNY</i></b> Lady singing her praises!
— [Deactivated Member]
September 7, 2000
WOW! There are some really good answers here. I like the talking thing.
I am SO good at that! Other hints I've seen work: My "normie"
friend moves her food around on her plate. No one would notice but someone
like me, I'm sure. At Olive Garden, she breaks her bread sticks into
multiple pieces and nibbles off each one. In her case, she's actually
hiding how MUCH she eats, but it looks like I'm the pig at the table! But
the bread basket it always refilled at least once! She skooches the food
here and eats a little, there and nibble. We talk, she breaks off pieces.
Almost like sleight of hand! If I'm in the mood, I don't even say anything,
I just whip out my befores. There IS no further discussion about capacity
after that. But if I'm involved with my husband or friend, I usually just
move things around or mess 'em up so it looks like I had a really good
time. If they notice that my meal is not eaten and are worried about
whether it was good or not, I assure them that I was too stressed or rushed
to enjoy it properly. Or, "late lunch" often works. However, like
everyone else, the contents of my plate really are NOT anyone's biz but
mine and no discussion needs to ensure at all. However, if they ask
politely, I will give one of my "polite" answers. My parents
were pretty much against this, too. But since then, they take every
opportunity to "show me off" and tell others about the surgery.
— vitalady
September 7, 2000
First, my mother was really against my having this surgery. Now four and a
half months later, and down 84 pounds, she is singing a different tune.
She can't get over how fantastic looking (and happy) I am these days. As
far as eating with other people, I have a toddler, so if I order an entre,
I order something I know she will eat and we share. Or I order a kid's
meal, or an appetizer. Between the two of us, we can usually polish it off
completely. Also, the amount you can eat will go up between the first few
weeks and when you get to month 4. I've read alot of people here amazed
and afraid of how much they can eat at the stage I'm in now (I also felt
that way), but in actuality, it is not that much at all. So once you
settle in, people might not even notice that it's not "that
much". Hope this helps! :)
— Beth B.
September 8, 2000
When I go out, I tell the waitress I just ate but I love this place so my
friend and I are going to share a dinner and please bring two plates. Then
my friend can order an appetizer for something more for themselves. That
way I don't have to be limited to the appetizers and I can have something
good. I find that I can have 1/2 of a glass of white wine right before I
eat and I don't have side effects, it's just after- no drinking! As far as
explaining, I don't think it's always necessary. Who cares what people
think?
— [Deactivated Member]
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