Question:
When Will I Realize This Is Really MY Body?
Have any of you ever felt like you were living a dream? I have lost 155 pounds. Sometimes I forget I'm smaller--like the head hasn't caught up with the body! — Denise P. (posted on July 9, 2004)
July 8, 2004
I'm right there with you. I had surgery in 11/02 and I have lost 170+
pounds. I'm at my goal and maintaining my weight now. Most often, I just
CAN'T believe what I see in the mirror. I bought a skirt that was a size 8
the other day, after having to leave the dressing room twice to get smaller
sizes (12 was too big, so I tried 10, that was too big, so I went to get an
8!) 8??? Me??? I just don't think so! But, it's true. And, I'm SLOWLY
getting used to it. I find that making sure I have a few full length
mirrors in the house (OMG- they were such a NO! when I was SMO)and making
sure to have my picture taken regularly are both big helps. Good luck to
you!
— LMCLILLY
July 9, 2004
Denise - your question could have been posted by me! I had Lap rny May 2,
03, started at 336 and today am 157 (this is my 2nd day at 157 and still
can't believe it). That's 179 lbs, and, at 5'8" I'm told that I look
very slender, very narrow (no hips). I see the fat on my stomach and my
squishy thighs. Honestly, that is what I see. My DH yesterday took off his
jeans and said, "try mine on. I'll bet you that they will fit".
Now, he is a very slender built fellow and is only 5'6" or so and 140
or so lbs. (He has actually lost 40 lbs during the past year due to our
healthier lifestyle and cooking!) Well, I certainly didn't believe that I
could get into 32 waisted Levi's! Do you know what? Fit like a charm. Good
thing I didn't bet! I also went shopping with my Mom 3 days ago - believe
this or not - this is the FIRST time that I have gone shopping for clothes
since my WLS 14+ months ago! (this is a testament to the generousity of my
Mom and sisters and a testimony of a family of yo-yo dieters!) Anyway, I'm
looking thru' the sale racks at Kohl's and, most everything was just too
big! I found that 12's were comfortable, but so were a few 10's and 8's. I
had to buy one pair of cords that were a size 6! While they were obviously
cut too generously at the manufacturer's (that would be why they were still
on the sale rack) the label says 6 and they fit great (even a little
loose!). It gives me a kick. I have no idea when I will start seeing my
body for what it is. When I catch my reflection, I assume it is the angle
of the mirror or window that is deceiving. I cannot be what I see - a
vestige of my illness and sickness, I suppose. In some way, I think that I
don't want to accept that I am at an ok weight - I've been preparing for
this time for 2+ years and it scares me to no end. Losing weight is an
activity. Maintaining a healthy weight is a lifestyle and a huge commitment
to yourself. I think I am up to the challenge. I know that I am up to the
challenge. I will not stick my head in the sand. Well, you get my drift!
Best of luck to us all during our continued journey! Jodie Lap RnY 05-02-03
336/157/??
— Jodie P.
July 9, 2004
I've heard it takes two years for our brains to catch up. I'm 3 years
post-op and I think I've caught up.
— mom2jtx3
July 9, 2004
I'm almost two years post-op and have lost 170 pounds. The first time I
really thought I was not fat was when I was looking for a long sweater to
go with a skirt I was buying and also to cover my hips. The skirt was a
size 6, and I FINALLY said to myself, "Wait a minute, I don't need to
cover my hips - there is nothing fat about a size 6!!" Now I wear
size 2-4 (and even have a size 0 skirt I can fit into!) When I refer to
myself, I call myself thin - not "OK" or "Not too big"
or "Kind of skinny". I think that makes a big difference in the
way I view myself because it means I give myself positive messages. Also,
I do not refer to my body as a separate entity from the "real"
me. In the past, my body has always felt so separate from the rest of me.
While I liked my personality and my mind, I hated my body, and my heart and
soul were constantly battling against my body. I think that is part of the
reason that in the past I re-gained any weight I had lost. And, I no
longer allow myself to feel the shame I used to feel. I am not ashamed or
embarrassed when I'm walking down the street, and teenage boys drive by and
check me out - but once upon a time I was. Your body will become your own
when you think of it as all part of the wonderful and unique package that
is you. You have no reason to feel anything but pride in you
accomplishment. Good luck to you.
— Ann H.
July 9, 2004
I am 17 months post op, staring at 255, now 132.5. The last 2 1/2 pounds
were a gift from my gall bladder surgery last week LOL! Before that I was
at 135 for almost 6 months, and at 5'7", very happy. I too see the
squishy belly and thighs, as well as the extra skin that hangs over the
sides of my bras. I call my belly a pile of dough---yuk. I have gone from
a 24 to a medium on most things on top. I haver acquired a new addiction.
SHOPPING!!! I love the markdown racks, but even more love to try on things
just to see what they will look like on me. It is like playing dress up.
It is so much fu. These are the times that I can see that I DO have a new
boday. I went to work today and was wearing a new bra that I bought w/o
trying on. It by style, not size was as snug as a corset. I was so
nervous that I was having chest pains that I went to the bathrtoom and just
took it off. WHo ever would believe that I could go braless----yet another
wake up that I have a new body. I could go on. Life as the new me is
pretty darn fun to be!!!!
— Fixnmyself
July 9, 2004
I still catch myself saying how fat I look in something..Mom family gets
mad when I say this. It has been over two years for me. I'm finaly getting
my tummy tuck at the end of this month maybe I will feel better then. Total
lose of weight 190 pounds now weigh 120-125
— sarah C.
July 9, 2004
I agree totally with what EVERYONE has posted. I have lost about 180 lbs
and I am 17 mo post op. I am a size 2/4 now and I have such a hard time
seeing myself the way that everyone else does. I guess the extra skin plays
a big part in this.. I still see squishy fat.. but my plastic surgeon says
it is SKIN, and I have no extra body fat. I just can't comprehend that.
Good thing I have a great therapist lol.
— SarahC
July 9, 2004
I will be 10 yrs out shortly and that means I've been at this wt for about
9 yrs. While I cannot spot my shape in a crowd, the other day I eyeballed a
shirt 'n skirt (didn't look at the numbers--why? they don't mean anything)
and they fit. Perfectly. The fact that I can now estimate my size and
shape with some accuracy is a huuge surprise to me, since previously, I was
going up or down so much, who knew what size I was today? I've now been
this size longer than any other single size in my life. Before I was
large, larger or largest. I'm smaller now, but whatever size it is, it is
THIS size. I have everything in my closet from 0-14, and they all fit. Tags
mean nothing, except for the lift of buying a 0.
— vitalady
July 10, 2004
I can relate to you (twice) when I became obsese I could not believe it was
my body - and now that I've lost 100 pounds to date I can recall being this
size, but as you say the mind has not caught up with the quickness of the
lose. I think that I am off balance at times or I'll run and mental not
take into account that there is less of me to lift. LOL
— Anna M.
July 11, 2004
I'm 13 months out from surgery and have lost 130 pounds...I still feel very
disconnected from my body.I'm 144 pounds and a size 8 now but still find
myself browsing in the plus sized section.
— jennifer A.
July 12, 2004
It takes time. I'm pretty certain about my sixe now and can estimate what
will and won't fit me while shopping. I still get surprised by photos
sometimes. One thing that did help me was to go with a trusted friend to
the mall and have her point out to me all the people that were my size.
That was a real eye-opener. hugs,
Ann....RNY 9/10/99.... 260/124
— [Deactivated Member]
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