Question:
I have a 2 year old and will be alone,any ideas on how I will manage?

Hi! I will be having surgery in a few months and basically am alone during the day with my 2 year old son. My concern is how to get him in his crib for naps and also when he wants me to hold him and stuff. Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to manage? Is this something that is managable? I'm having an open Vbg. Thank you kindly for any responses!!!! Kathy    — Kathy M. (posted on May 21, 2004)

May 20, 2004
I so understand your concerns! I was alone as well. I had help for the first two days I was out of the hospital and then it was sink or swim time. I had my surgery done LAP, which was extremely helpful in my day to day routine. Kids are intuitive and know when mommy isn't feeling well or has a BOOBOO. I bet your 2 year old will try and take care of you. Get a step stool to help in getting him in and out of the crib, or until you heal, have sleep near you at nap time on your bed. Your doctor and you are the authority on what your body can handle. Just try and plan ahead, put things you use often in areas you don't have to bend and stretch to get to and keep a pillow in front of your incisional area just incase your wee one decides to give you a loving hug you weren't expecting. Good Luck
   — dimpkd

May 21, 2004
Hi Kathy, I completely understand where you are coming from. When I had my surgery my daughter was only 6 months old, but there was absolutely no way I could care for her by myself for the first 2 weeks at least. I was under strict orders not to hold her at all, and she was only 15 pounds. My mother did come and stay with me for a week, and of course, I had to send my daughter to day care for a couple of weeks while I was home healing. My husband cared for her at night, and eventually I was able to get back into my routine. You will definately need "someone" to help you, your body will need to recover. I hope this helps. Much love to you & God Bless! :) Erin Lap RNY 4.10.03 290/150@goal
   — EHarding

May 21, 2004
Since you have time yet, go ahead and turn his bed into a toddler bed. If he is two years old there is no reason why he couldnt be in that. Talk to him and let him know that you will be hurting for a little while and he needs to be a good boy (or girl) and help mommy. or get a pack adn play and put it by the couch. have him climb on the couch and into the pack and play. sounds crazy but trust me my 13m old can do it. Hope the best for you!
   — Mama2Bellaboo

May 21, 2004
I had my surgery done in Septamber, while my husband was in Iraq. I live on an Army base, far from anyone else in my family, my mom passed away already, I had NO ONE to ask to come help me. I was so worried about all this because I, also, had a 2-year-old son (Still have him, he's just 3 now). I had a neighbor/friend that took off her job for the three days I was in the hospital (lap RNY), but when I came home, it was all me from that very afternoon on. I did it. Better yet, I never even filled my pain meds in the process! That would have made me tired/sluggish and you know that is about the worst thing you can be when you have a toddler! Someone already said your child will intuitively know something isn't right with mommy. Mine, though, is a VERY active boy, and while he tried to kiss my boo-boos, he was even more willing to take advantage of mom not being as fast as she used to be!!! Mine was already in a bed by the time I had surgery, so I didn't have to lift him for that. He could also negotiate stairs already, could climb into and out of the tub, can climb onto this chair at the dinner table, all that. So the option of picking him up was mostly nil because of his own skills. When he was naughty, I just had to deal with calling to him until I could manage to stand up instead of jumping straight up and running to him. But gradually, things got much easier. I would say I felt *really* good by the end of the first week. In fact, in hinsight, I think it helped me even more in the long run HAVING to get off my butt and not have much recovery time. It forced me to get better instead of allowing me to lay there and lament over my pain! (which wasn't *that* bad-not for me, anyway. I demanded am epidural with my son as soon as I hit 4 cm, I cry when I get stuck with needles for shots...it all depends on you, I guess. I never used pain meds, aside from the first 2 days and that first night. By the second night in the hospital, I was off meds and walking the halls!) Just make sure you're careful. You don't need to be falling or tripping or getting up too quickly and pulling stitches-you're just going to have to be ok with being a smoewhat sorry excuse for a mom for a week or two. They'll get over it, I promise. Anyway, with that said, if after your surgery you feel terrible and dont think you can provide good supervision and care for your child-you can't get up, you need the extra recovery time on your back, you're taking plenty of pain stuff still , you're in severe pain(all that will affect your mothering, even if you don't think it possibly could.)I wouldn't play around and take chances that your kid isn't being watched adequately. Hire a babysitter, have a friend take your kid on the promise you will watch her's onnce you're better, etc. Better safe than sorry. Good luck, email me if you have any questions! [email protected]
   — jenn_jenn

May 21, 2004
You say in a few months you will be having surgery so I'm assuming you mean during the summer months. Could you hire someone on summer break from school to help you at least entertain your child for a few hours per day? It will also be helpful for you to have someone around to help you with household stuff - taking out the trash, etc. Don't forget how important exercise is, but lifting can be left to someone else.
   — Yolanda J.

May 21, 2004
Oh the joys of a 2 year old, just remember they will be teens before you know it ugh. LOL Okay there nap time is you nap time up on the bed with mom. If they miss a tub bath a time or 2 they won't shrival up. Try seeing if they like a shower my daughter did at this age just turn the water on low. A small step stool help a lot. Also contact your local day care and see if they can take them on a short term bases. If you have a church I'm sure someone would be willing to help you, even if it is only a few hours a day. good luck peggy
   — Peggy R.