Question:
I eat when I feel like I am losing control of my life. How do I fix this?

I am 15 month post op. I have put a lot of effort into finding out why I over eat and graze. I don't want to put back on the 160 lbs I have lost. I know I have to find out why and work on. After months of trying to figure it out, I think I finally have. I want to eat when I feel like I have lost control over my life. If I have a list of things to do, and can't complete it, something not planned on happens or I just can't seem to get it together I turn to food. I now know why. I just can't seem to find a way to fix it. I try exercise, but this just throws me further behind with my list which leads to wanting to eat more. I really don't want to support this habit by snacking even on low calorie items. Any suggestions? If you don't want to post your suggestion, you may email me at [email protected] Thanks    — june22 (posted on April 1, 2004)

March 31, 2004
the Serenity Prayer! I take a deep breath and chant it until I feel better (or fall asleep, which ever comes first!) :)
   — amy G.

March 31, 2004
Hi Brenda...............please don't take this wrong but it sounds a bit like an obsessive compulsive disorder if you're living your life from a list and get stressed if you can't finish the list. I'm so happy for you that you have worked thru all this and made some self-discoveries but maybe you could take it a bit further and try to discover why you feel you need a list to be "in control" and why having a list makes you feel in control. In the meantime, maybe you could really analyze your list and shorten it up a bit so that you have a more realistic chance of getting it all done. Maybe plan for some interruptions, you may not know what they are going to be, but you sure know they're going to happen. And good for you that you don't want to turn to snacking to deal with the stress. If you lower your expectations and shorten up your list, plan in some time for interruptions, then when you get under stress over the list, instead of snacking, maybe you could sit down with the list and review it carefully to see what you could safely skip for the day and move it to another day. I don't know what your life is like and what demands are being made on you but it is definitely not possible, and has never been possible, to plan every aspect of our lives, put tasks in a list, and be able to complete the tasks on that list with no deviations and no surprises. Life just doesn't work that way so I hope you can relax a little and eventually get rid of that list. Best of luck to you on working thru this. You've done SUPER.
   —  SCbabe B.

April 1, 2004
Please consider seeking professional help for this issue. We can't always 'fix' these things. They have to be dealt with (as you are) A professional would be able to be the most objective and assist you with a plan for resolving your behavior. Good luck to you. And...congrats on your wonderful weight loss.
   — LMCLILLY

April 1, 2004
I am the exact same way. Stress eating and grazing is keeping me a few pounds from my goal. Email me and maybe we can support each other and find a way thru this. Wendy [email protected]
   — Wendy H.

April 2, 2004
Hi, I also have the same problem and I am pre-op. I have found, if I make 2 lists, A list must do, B list, do if I have time. Most of the time, I find items on my A list really can wait! Or moved over to B list. We must learn to take baby steps, then the whole picture is not overwhelming. So many things I think "should" be done, really does not matter at the end of the day. After all, we have only one life, and we have been given a new chance to enjoy....so enjoy. So what the floor is not mopped or what ever...the world still goes around and brings us new and wonderful new day. Marla
   — Marla S.

April 2, 2004
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for behavior modification, (my insurance requires this before surgery) as well as for other issues I have related to my childhood. One of the things I have learned is the relationship between stress and insulin/blood glucose levels. Let me see if I can explain it. When you're stressed/angry you're body releases andrenalin. The fight or flight sydrome takes over. The andrenalin releases glucose (blood sugar) from your liver. You're body does this so you'll have energy to either fight or run. As my psychiatrist said, this mechanism is great if you're a mountain man confronting a bear. In today's world, we don't encounter many bears but we do have tremendous stress. So, back to the cycle of stress, andrenalin, and insulin. Since we aren't likely to use the extra blood sugar released from the liver, the body has to get the blood sugar levels normal, so the pancreas pumps out extra insulin. Having extra insulin in the bloodstream causes hunger. Which is why you want to eat an hour or so after being stressed out or angry. He suggested a breathing exercise to relieve stress. Breathe in through the nose to the count of four (count slowly) then breathe out through the mouth to the count of eight (again, breathe slowly, also, purse your lips so you make sort of a whistling sound.) I've found this really helps. Do this five times in a row everytime you feel stressed. Another thing he cautioned me is to pick my battles. Be careful about what I let get to me. Some things I may just have to let go of. Not let it bother me. Lynda D.
   — Lynda D.