Question:
Any MO couples have normal weight kids?
I struggle wether me and Jen should have kids given the likelyhood of them being MO. Any MO couples have normal weight children? I have been watching this closely at malls and stores and it appears MO parents are followed by MO kids. I dont want to have kids suffer like I did growing up fat to be followed by ill health. This really concerns me. — bob-haller (posted on October 17, 2003)
October 17, 2003
Although the genetic disposition may be very strong, I believe your
children would be in a healthy envirionment. They would pick up your good
eating and exercise habits. This will have an enormous impact on their
overcoming the MO tendency. Although, those children you see may have the
genes to be MO, chances are also good that their envirionmental influences
are not helping. Good luck to you! Shelley
— Shelley.
October 17, 2003
Bob
Hello i was MO till i had WLS my daughter is 12 and she is normal weight.
Her weight is 65pds not sure how tall she is but im 5'3 and the top of her
head is almost under my chin. She has never cared alot about candy and
stuff like that. She is a very good eater sometimes i do not kow were she
puts it all at.Just cause parents are MO doen not mean the kids will beI
dont not force food on her i do try to get her to try at least 1 bite if
its something new she has not had b-4.I just let her eat till she is full i
do not make her clean her pate unless she is wanting desert.Sheburns allot
of her calories off she is all the time moveing and now i can keep up with
her.Hoe this helps and best wishes to you and Jen.
— wildbrat
October 17, 2003
Myself and my soon tobe ex have two perfectly healthy, weight and height
proortionate children. We have also raised them to have healthy eating
habits, snacks are healthy, but it is ok to have a cookie once in awhile,
they do not have to "clean their plate" they stop when they are
full. My kids also prefer water over kool-aid, sugary juices or soda. I
believe the MO kids learn the eating habits from their MO parents and it is
just a vicious cycle, like abuse in a family, someone has got to say ENOUGH
and stop it. I did for both MO and abuse so I can speak on that personally.
Good luck!
— Stephanie B.
October 17, 2003
Hi there. My husband is obese and I am morbidly so. Our 2 children are
regular for height and in the 10-20 percentile for weight. Normal kids
average accross the board would be in the 50th percentile. I think there
is some genetic disposition AND there is also environment. I never ever
make them eat all of their meal. If they are full or are playing insead of
eating I send them away. Don't get me wrong. I do make them eat thier age
in vegitables. They can have healthy snacks between meals and even my 4
year old knows what exercise is. I am teaching them all I should have been
taught to make a difference and have control of my life. They do not feel
that they are missing anything as I will let them have cake or something
but they only eat like 2 bites each. If only I could be so good. I can
say one thing. If my children get big or if they stay small they are the
biggest blessing God has ever given me. You will never ever find someone
to believe in you and love you unconditionally as your children and your
love for them is the same be they big or little or pink with green stripes.
Children are our future and each day with ours gives us a fresh look at
the world and allows us to see it through precious innocent eyes.
— Momshelx3
October 17, 2003
My MO dad had six kids with 4 different women - two were thin as rails -
really! and two were MO. Of his kids 1 is thin as a rail (and that was
the product of two MO parents), while all his other kids are MO - even the
ones with skinny parents. Obesity, like any trait can remain dormant for
generations or spring forth unexpectedly. It's a crap shoot at best!
— [Deactivated Member]
October 17, 2003
Bob, kids tend to mimmick their parents. If both you and your wife eat
healthy and exercise, your children will likely follow suit. Although it is
possible they will inherit the "fat genes" as I like to call
them, as long as they learn to live a healthy lifestyle, I would think they
should be able to maintain a normal weight. Just like with those of us who
have had surgery - we still have to eat right and exercise or we can gain
weight.
— Barbara C.
October 17, 2003
Hi there, Bob! My parents are both heavy and while most of us kids came
out like them, I have one brother who can eat a huge pot of pasta followed
by a real meal of pizza, etc. And he hasn't gained a pound! In fact, he
struggled to get every bit of muscle he has on him. Then I have one
brother who was over 13 lbs. at birth, is still MO to this day and so is
his wife and they have 3 kids, 2 that are MO and one who again, can eat
anything and doesn't gain weight. I have to agree though that our children
will follow what they see us do. If they see us eat fried foods all the
time, they will follow suite, but if they see us eat healthy meals and have
active lifestyles, they will do the same. I think your kids will not only
have a healthy home ( food-wise) but also be very loved. Vi. open RNY
9/23/02 down 151 lbs.
— Vi F.
October 17, 2003
My father was 125 lbs. my mother was 380 lbs. My grandfather was 425, and
my great grandfather was near 490 lbs, do we see a gentic trend here? I am
360, but...pre-op I ride a bicycle 20 miles a day, every day, work out with
weights 20 min per day, and walk at least a mile everyday. I never lose
weight...I'm strong, I just don't lose. I don't eat sugar, soda, coffee,
tea, and watch the carbs...but I don't lose. We have 3 terrific kids, a 17
yr. old insulin dependent diabetic...doesn't use sugar, and is a brown belt
in karate, about 225 lbs, and healthy, a 15 yr. old who loves sugar and
hates exercise, and a 13 yr. old daughter who eats like a bird and weighs
109 lbs. Is there an answer in all of this...nope. Some genetics, some
lifestyle and some...who knows? My wife and I ride our bicycle religiously,
she is a field biologist, up to her hip waders in muck collecting
specimens, and are relatively active, as a family. It's human nature and
luck of the draw. Given a good family example to follow, the kids will
follow the same example. So far, only 1 child has a sugar 'fixation', but
the rest of us don't, and it's usually not around the house, but he sees
what we do, and tries to follow suit. Have the kids, lead by example, and
surround the home environment with good food and lead an active lifestyle,
that's all you can do. The rest is up to nature and God, and if nothing
else works, know that there are bariatric advances to break this genetic
cycle.
— track
October 17, 2003
Its of concern to me because my entire family was MO, before they all died
young, with the exception of my dad. He is MO but 73, unfortunately in poor
health his weight has contribuited to his problems. Jens family has the MO
gene too. Her dad is getting WLS. Jens mom doing family tree research found
references to their ancestors being MO and dying young all the way back to
one who died very young who had come thru ellis island. Back then there
were few MOs. Very different than today. His size and age made the
newspaper. Naturally with this kids are of a concern.
— bob-haller
October 18, 2003
Wow, Bob. This is a tough one. I struggle with this everyday. I am (was)
MO, both my parents are MO, but my brother is skinny, although he has
health problems like high blood pressure and high cholesterol that run in
my family. I have read that two MO people have an 80% chance of having MO
children. I have always said that I will NOT have children because of my
family history of morbid obesity and depression, both of which are
hereditary, but every year I get older is another year that I wish I would
have kids. My personal choice is not to have children no matter how much I
will want to in the future. I grew up MO and depressed and wouldn't wish
that on my worst enemy. Even if there was an 8% chance instead of 80%
chance that my children would become MO, any chance is too much of a chance
for me. BUT, this is a decision you and Jen will have to make for
yourselves. I know how you feel and where you are coming from and just the
fact that you guys have thought about this means you have good hearts and
would make great parents. Adoption and fostering is always an option is
you two chose not to get pregnant.
— Kristen S.
October 18, 2003
If they are lucky, they will get your kindness, personality, intelligence.
I have a normal weight child and a MO child. This world is fortunate to
have both of them and will be fortunate to have your children. I told my
MO daughter, she got the looks, brains, good health and personality so the
MO was just part of the package. Read my dau profile to see how lovely she
is. Michelle Bayuk
— faybay
October 18, 2003
I have four childre, three who are underweight or at weight for most of
their lives --one that is slightly overweight but he has his father's
build--he's 13 and 5 8 and 170. Just watch their diets, provide good food,
involve them in sports--it took awhile to find one my 13 yearold liked--now
he swims, and watch the take out food and carbs! If you don't have it in
the house and you exercise and I pack his lunch (he's lost 11 lbs.) just
from that, they should be fine. Make sure you walk daily or bike with them
also! We quit that as we got fat and that affected one child.
— who A.
October 18, 2003
I had 3 kids, 1 is skinny, 1 is muscular and lean and then my last has
always been pudgy. My last child is the one who likes to eat like myself
and my other two could care less about food. I honestly think the reason
why you see that is b/c the kids eat what we eat and when we parents are
unactive and eat junk/fast food all day, it usually means the kids are
too. I'm thinking off all my friends and family members and I do see the
pattern, but it could also just be in the genes. My last child is actually
losing now that she eats like the new me eats and we are so much more
active. I think you should'nt worry about and I hope you and your wife
someday have healthy babies :o) I wish you both all the best!
— Sandy M.
October 18, 2003
Growing up, I was MO and my sister was skinny. My parents were very lax
and let us eat what we wanted. My parents got divorced and we had less and
less supervision. My sister just never had the urge to eat. That, I
believe, is physiological and psychological. She never wanted to eat and I
always felt the urge to. My mom would get home from work at 8 at night and
feed us fish sticks and tater tots because she was too tired to cook. I
can't blame her for being tired. My mom was also overly concerned with us
eating and she fed us a lot of carbs. She just didn't know any better. I
think even if I ate healthy like I do now, I still would have been a chubby
kid. But I don't think I would have become MO adolescent and adult. We
may have the genetic cards stacked against us, but it is our eating and
exercise habits that do us in.
— mrsmyranow
October 18, 2003
I would like to reverse this question also, I am Mo, from a mother who can
eat whatever she wants and tries like heck to gain weight, and a father who
has not had to worry about his weight. A sister who is average weight, and
a brother who struggled with his weight as a child, but as an adult is
thin. I believe it is a crap shoot you never never know, you do the best
for your children, raise them in a healthy environment. I have two
children, a son who is heavy, and a daughter who is underweight. I love my
children unconditionally, and wish for their health, and happiness. You
will do what is right for the both of you. Talking this through with each
other is so wonderful, shows you have the kindness, the insightfulness, and
the intelligence do do what is right, at the right time for you. Good luck
to you in all lifes adventures.
— Natasha B.
October 18, 2003
My brother and I are both over weight (well I have lost 140+ since WLS)...
but my youngest brother is not at all. He is opposite weighing in at 140
6'2"... so I don't know about it... both of my parents are MO... I
think your new habits will certainly create a better "destiny"
for your child, and hopefully the child will be healthy and such... you are
livng much healthier now I assume, and more active... MO aren't as active
9I know I wasn't)... now I do so much more with my son, he just loves being
outside and so on...he's only 3 years old, but seems to be okay...he's in
the 50% for his age... whatever that means...
— MF
October 18, 2003
My sister is MO and her husband is obese and they have four children and
only one is obese. I am a little shocked at the question because it's like
saying you wish you and your wife were not born. It's not like it's a
problem that is impossible to deal with. I'm sorry if you both had painful
childhoods but that is not the case for all obese children.
Sadly obesity is commonplace in children. My daughter is a little
overweight but not obese. I don't allow her to eat whatever she wants and
she is not allowed to use her allowance money for food. If you and your
wife want children it would be sad to deny them life just because they may
have a chance at being obese.I'm sure you would love them no matter what.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
— Candace F.
October 19, 2003
Hi Bob: I'm glad to see you've gotten a lot of input for this question. I
read the responses and I didn't see this point so I'm going to jump in. I
just saw on the TV recently that kids tend to copy the eating habits of
their fathers. They see their mom spending all this time preparing food
and the dad complimenting the efforts etc and the kids think that yeah I
want that too. I'm not sure that that was a proven scientific study or
whatever, and honestly I can't remember what show I was watching or
anything. Since you have had RNY you obviously don't over eat, so your
kids won't be copying that habit. In our house it is true that my daughter
does copy how her father eats as opposed to me. I was MO, and my husband
isn't quite but definitely overweight, and my adopted daughter is 10 and
just entering that puddy stage. I worry for her because she eats very
large meals. That's my husband's way of eating. I was the kind who would
eat much more often, especially late at night, and always awful things high
in sugar, and thus had more of a weight problem. My daughter likes some
desserts but she doesn't have the same sugar demons that I do. She can
outeat me easily, even when I was preop. I think you're right to be
concerned about anything that might be problem for your potential child.
Too many people have kids and think, "Hey if I love them all will be
fine." I wish all people would think a little bit ahead and try to
avoid potential problems. So I applaud you for your concern and for the
question. I think that you'll be fine with a child from natural birth.
However, there are a lot of kids out there that need homes/parents that
don't have any, so if you are overly concerned you could adopt. Parenthood
is a great joy and a great responsibility. Whether it's your genetic child
or adopted there will be challenges along the way. From what I've seen of
you on these boards any child would be lucky to have you for a parent.
Best of luck. S
— sherry hedgecock
October 19, 2003
I have always been MO and my husband became MO as he got older. We both
have a lot of MO relatives. We have 2 sons, one MO, one normal weight
(although at 20 he is beginning to struggle with weight issues as well ...
but was normal throughout his childhood). Although I would have done
anything to have spared my oldest son the pain of growing up MO, I can't
imagine what our lives would be like without his beauty, talent, and
humour. As hard as it was to watch him struggle, we are all the sum of our
life experiences ... and he is one heck of an awesome young man and I am
proud to be his mom. While I will be the first to acknowledge the pain and
suffering of growing up MO, being of normal weight is no guarantee of an
easy childhood. My normal weight son has severe ADHD and has struggled
with the effects of his disease his entire life ... and although different
... it has been just as painful for him as my older son's stuggles with MO.
My point is that even for normal weight kids ... there are just no
guarantees of a storybook, pain free childhood. To some extent we all have
to play the genetic hand we have been dealt. Although I can totally relate
to your fears and concerns about bringing MO kids into the world, because I
experienced them myself, please don't let your fear keep you from
experiencing the blessing of having children. Start your family and do
your best to teach your kids good eating and exercise habits and a
generally healthy lifestyle. Even if they do end up MO, they will probably
also be totally awesome human beings. Also, they are working on better
treatments and as obesity becomes more prevalent in our society the
research is getting a lot more attention. Maybe we will be the last
generation to have to live with morbid obesity.
— Lynn T.
October 19, 2003
Wow, interesting topic here. I think that whether or not a child is MO (or
becomes a MO adult) is based on two things: genetics and environment. I am
one of three children - my two brothers are both tall and thin, and both
very physically active. I am MO, and have struggled with my weight my
entire life. Our father is MO, and our mother carries some extra weight,
but is nowhere near MO. Now, here's the interesting thing. My thin older
brother married a thin, very fit and active woman - they eat very sensibly,
and are a very active family (camping, hiking, cycling, sports, etc.) -
it's just their lifestyle, and always has been. They have two children, a
10 year old and a 14 year old. The 10 year old is a bean pole - looks much
like her mother. The 14 year old has always tended to be heavy. I have
watched him eat - and it is with a kind of desperation that goes beyond
hunger - it reminds me very much of myself pre-op, and of my father. In
this case, environment, or mimicking poor eating patterns of his parents,
certainly does NOT seem to be a contributing factor where his weight is
concerned. In fact, it's probably the healthy-eating, physically active
lifestyle of his family that has PREVENTED him from being MO thus far. So I
truly believe that it is his genetic makeup (his maternal grandmother and
both maternal aunts are obese, in addition to the aforementioned obesity on
his father's side) that puts him where he is.
That being said, there is NO WAY to tell whether your children, if you
decide to have them, would have any tendency toward obesity. Do you really
want to NOT have them, on the chance that they MIGHT have an obesity
problem? There are no easy answers. Good luck, and please let us know how
it goes.
— johanniter
October 19, 2003
Hi Bob, I just wanted to say that this was a huge concern for me when I had
my daughter. My husbands family are not MO, but mine is. When I had my
daughter, I had to really take a long look at my childhood, and figure out
what made me MO. I see now that it was not only genetics, but it was also
the lack of instruction from my mother on how to eat healthy, and encourage
excercise. I realize now that those tools are so very important to learn
at a young age. My mother to this day does not eat healthy, but in her mind
it is healthy, so I do not resent her. You and your wife have the power of
knowlege now, and would be able to give a child the right instruction on
living a healthy lifestyle. I never limit my daughter to anything. But, I
don't force eating on her as well. If she finishes her plate and wants
more, she may have it, but if she doesn't eat everything, (which is more
often) that is fine too. I am just hoping and praying that I am doing the
right thing. But, I tell you what, if she does end up becoming MO, I am
going to love her anyway, and I will make sure I will do everything I can
to help her overcome it, just as I did! Good Luck to you, and God Bless! :)
— EHarding
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