Question:
When dining out w/ others...
how do you handle ordering and not eating very much of your food without telling others that you've had the RNY surgery? I've told all of my co-workers (because I was out on FMLA), but have only told two of my closest church friends. Being Baptist, EATING is a BIG thing!! Every Sunday after Sunday School and Church, our singles group goes out to eat. I have always participated in dining out until recently and several are asking why I don't go anymore. I really want to go because I enjoy the fellowship. However, I do not want to lie to these people when they ask me questions about "why I'm not eating very much" I don't want the entire world to know that I've had the procedure. Perhaps I'll feel differently as time passes. Everything is still very new to me and I'm not ready to open up! Ideas?? Thanks!! — Lynette H. (posted on September 24, 2003)
September 24, 2003
Lynette,
If asked simply say that you are watching what you eat. It's not a lie.
You could just order a protein-rich appetizer so that there isn't much left
or eat until your new stomach is full and get a "doggie bag."
Many thin people do this. You can eat the food the next day for lunch or
dinner or even make a "frozen dinner" for yourself. Just
remember not to fill up on rolls and soup before the meal comes. Good luck
with your weight loss.
— Janis D.
September 24, 2003
I go to business lunches all of the time. My business companions have no
idea I had surgery even after a 76lb loss in 5 mos. I tell them I am on a
diet and I am not eating like I used to (it's the truth even if it is a
"forced" diet). They compliment me on my commitment to a diet. I
almost always bring food home because I still hate to waste it. My family
has come to enjoy my restaurant leftovers and I sometimes have them for a
few meals the rest of the week. My business peers are proud of me for
"sticking to the diet".
— M B.
September 24, 2003
Well, you could tell 'em you had a big breakfast and are still pretty full
from that, or that you're trying to drop weight by eating less on the
weekends (both statements are true as far as they go, right?). Eventually,
people will quit asking, but don't be surprised if some figure it out
whether you disclose your RNY surgery or not. You may also inspire some
folks to eat less along with you. ;-)
— Suzy C.
September 24, 2003
Hi! I use to feel the same way about not wanting others to know about the
procedure, etc. But i am very proud of where i am at today and no longer
worry and actually when i tell people they usually ask alot of questions --
they are familiar enough with it to ask. My advice if you dont want to
just tell them, is to make sure you order something small or that you can
eat half of -- I have a very small pouch but i can still manage 1/2 of the
meat and move the other food around a little :) salads are good to get
because you can eat a lot of it and look like you have been eating a lot.
Good luck -- go for the fellowship and support -- you need that to help get
you to a successful point! lap rny, 4/22, -91 lbs
— Kerry R.
September 24, 2003
Hi Lynette- Someone posted what I thought was a great answer to a similar
issue. Why not make the after-church get together an opportunity for
liquids? Could you order the soup and a water? Also, another honest answer
could be "I'm just not that hungry." Good Luck :o) Mea
— Mea A.
September 24, 2003
I think that you are selling your church friends short. I was blessed to
have the prayers and support of my church-- and, as they all know about the
surgery, at fellowship dinners no one really makes a big deal about what I
am eating or not eating. Plus, and this is a rare moment of seriousness
for me, I truly felt God's comfort as I knew that He was with me in the
operating room-- I felt obligated to share this with my pastor and the
other members of our congregation. Listen, the lifetime of change that WLS
necessitates isn't easy, although it is worth it for the seond chance at a
long and healthy life it provides us; consequently, I have appreciated
having as many people on my team and in my corner as possible. And, what
better friends to have supporting you than those with whom you share a deep
and abiding religious faith?
— SteveColarossi
September 24, 2003
Just tell them you are working on losing weight, and they will be
supportive! You can decide when/if to tell them about the RNY later! :~) I
just order a la carte and eat what I want, and push the rest away!! They
will understand! :~)
— Sharon m. B.
September 24, 2003
I agree w/other poster the fellowship is great support but you never have
to disclose the surgery. You could explain to them honestly that you have
adopted a new, healthier lifestyle and way of eating. Tell them they will
notice you eating much less and making healthy choices. Ask them for their
prayers and support and enjoy it! YOU GO GIRL! HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS!
— Deborah F.
September 25, 2003
Two observations from my personal experience: people are going to notice
that you're losing weight, and most people don't pay much attention to what
anyone else is eating. If someone notices that you're not eating much,
then simply say you're watching your weight. That will match what people
see. No additional explanations are necessary.
— Vespa R.
September 25, 2003
I wanted to thank everyone for their opinions and responses to my question.
You've all provided me with valuable insight!
— Lynette H.
September 25, 2003
Ever notice how thin people eat? Go out to lunch with a naturally thin
size 5 person. They will order a sandwich and only eat 1/2. Thats what
you will eat like. So when someone asks, just say you are watching your
weight or want to lose weight or are maintaining your loss, wherever you
are in the process. I go out with my husband all the time and he loves it
as he ensures I order something he likes so he can eat the other 1/2! I
also like to order full entree's so I can take the other 1/2 or 3/4 home
for leftovers.
— Cindy R.
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