Question:
Are there any post ops who are happy losing less than their doctor wants?
I am 9 1/2 months post op. I am down from 326 to 185. I am very happy with my weight loss so far. I am starting to look sick looking. I have lose skin and bones showing through. Several people have suggested I may have lost enough. I have set a personal goal of 165. That is only 20 lbs more and that would be 1/2 of what I used to weight. This would make me overweight and no longer obese. The surgeon suggested I should weight 135. That would make me have a BMI less of 25 as reccomended. I don't think I would like myself at that weight now. I wouldn't mind being that in a few years when my skin has a chance to catch up. I was wondering if there are other post ops who have faced the same decision. I am still working out and eating right. It has now become a way of life for me. I don't plan on eating to stop losing weight, rather to cut back on my exercise a little. I don't plan on having a TT. I did this for health reasons, my health is the best it has ever been. How can you tell when you have lost enough weight? — june22 (posted on September 14, 2003)
September 14, 2003
In my case my surgeon and I were thinking the same number - 200 lbs, which
will still put me in the overweight category with a BMI of 29.5. I am
totally fine with this. For me to reach the "normal" BMI range I
would have to get down to 168. I know I would not be comfortable at that
size. The surgeon said I could get into the 180's but it would take a lot
of hard work. If I get there over the next few years fine, but if not I
will be extremely happy with 200.
<p>It would appear your surgeon is trying to fit you into an
insurance book height/weight chart. For those who want to get there fine,
but it's not that realistic for most of us. If I got down to the Met Life
h/w chart I would need plastic surgery literally from head to toe. To go
from 442 to 156 is insane for me.
<p>I think you already know what your answer is. You are the one
that must live in your body, so it is important to find where you are
comfortable, not where your surgeon says you should be. You are not
choosing to not go lower because it's too hard but because it's not where
you will feel comfortable. I would see how the next 20 lbs go and then sit
there for a long time and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. You can
always put your tool back to work and chose to get down more in the future.
You wanted a life, not to be driven by a number in a book. Enjoy your new
healthy life!
— zoedogcbr
September 14, 2003
I started at 274 and I'm 5'5.I had surgery 3 months ago and I've lost 60
pounds so far.My surgeons goal weight for me is 125.I think I look and feel
great and healthy at 145.I didn't argue with her or question her
number.It's my body and I'm going to stay at a weight where I feel the
healthiest.
— jennifer A.
September 14, 2003
I believe that when you get to where you are healthy, all is fine with you.
— faybay
September 15, 2003
I am going in for my 1 year check-up on Thursday and im so mad at myself
for not getting to the goal weight my Doctor gave me. I was 267 and now am
139, only 5lbs til goal and I can't lose it for nothing! I am getting the
tt and lower body lift and I keep telling myself that will get me to goal.
I am obsessed with reaching my goal weight and I think that is a bad thing
b/c I need to realize in less than a year I went from size 24 to a size 4
and a 3x to a s/m. We should all think about what feels good for us and not
the numbers on the scale. Good luck and great job:o)
— Sandy M.
September 15, 2003
Your body will stop losing on it's own timetable I believe. I may have
wanted to lose more (from 268 to 155 now at 2 yrs and a few months post-op
RNY), but alas it did not happen. Would I like to be smaller...yes, but I
don't think it will happen and I feel so much better and healthier now! My
life is so much better. I am not sure that we have that much control over
how much we lose and when we should/could stop losing anymore than I think
we had that much to do with the other end prior to surgery when we were
obese. Genetics, metabolism,biochemistry..these all play and continue to
play a big part. I wish you success in achieving what YOU feel is a healthy
weight for you. Doctors pick some odd weights anyway I think for goal
weights.
— Molly S.
September 15, 2003
First, you have to remember that the md is using the standard height/weight
charts that are used for everybody. And we are all not the same!! Second,
not everyone loses all the weight to get to that goal. We are not cookie
cutter made people. Therefore, every single person is different as to how
fast they lose, where they lose, etc, etc. Obviously, from the md's view,
getting your bmi into the normal range is the optiumum goal. But you are
the best judge as to how you feel and your body will do what it it will as
to your weight. Now some people are not as faithful in exercise or
following the right diet, so they may not lose as well as some others who
are more strict. I believe that ultimately all people should be able to
lose all the weight they want, BUT, they may have to work at it more than
others, and may have to adapt to eating less than they mentally want to,
which could be very difficult for them.
Now, as to your "looking sick". I've noticed that most people
tend to really thin out their face after this surgery. I also have noted
that after they have reached goal weight for a few months, their face
tended to round back out a bit so they didn't look so skeletal, so it seems
to be a passing thing. As a general rule, I don't think your skin
"catches up" to the extent that you don't need plastic surgery
unless you are on the young side. For the most part, it seems the rapid
loss of weight, not entirely the condition of your skin that seems to
indicate how much it will hang on you. The people who lose faster seem to
have more skin issues and the people who lose slower tend to not have as
severe ones. But of course any generalization is only that, a
generalization, and is not applicable to everyone. So everyone's
experience is different in different ways. Remember that you can't take
anyone's personal experience and measure your own to it and feel something
is wrong or that you aren't doing it right just because your experience is
different.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and that you are very aware of
what is right for YOUR body. Take the md's recomendations but do what is
right for you. Besides, as you lose weight and tone up, you may find that
being closer to the md's bmi is more to your liking, but you certainly can
do what you feel is best for you. The real issue is are you happy,
satisfied, feel good, can do what you want to do now? Remember, as a
tool, this surgery can also help you lose weight at a later date. It
doesn't just stop after the first bit of losing weight. If I have gained
5-10 lbs, then I go back on the strict diet and exercise more and it comes
off. I would like to lose about 10 lbs more, but I don't have that as a
major issue in my life right now so I don't worry about it. I am 2 yrs
postop and have never regreted this surgery. I lost 151 lbs and went down
to 146 lbs. I wore a size 26 and now wear a size 8/small. I would like to
have plastic surgery to tighten up some area, but if I don't ever have, it
is okay. All the best to you in your journey!!!
— Karen M.
September 15, 2003
I'm sure your surgeon wouldn't advise you to do anything that would be
unhealthy for you. But, not everybody fits into that cookie cutter range
on the chart! You should give yourself a chance to get used to yourself at
this weight before you decide if you want to shoot for the dr's goal. In
time you probably won't be so 'shocked' with the new you. Don't forget
also, the possible regain when factoring where you want to loose to. I'm
very happy at 170 right now. I feel great and think I look great too.
People tell me I have lost enough. But, they are not me, and not qualified
to judge. I know I look like I weigh less than i do, you probably do too.
I think they just freak out because I was SO heavy before and they don't
think it's 'healthy' to loose so much weight so fast. So, I am personally
factoring everything in and deciding to go for all I can loose. This way I
have a cushion for a little regain. Good luck to you in whatever you
decide, and congrats on the excellent loss!
— LMCLILLY
September 15, 2003
I tried and tried to get a goal from my doctor and he finally said if I got
to 180 he would be more than pleased HOWEVER, he did not gauge success by
the amount of weight lost, but the amount of health conditions resolved. If
in a year I am not a diabetic, have normal blood pressure, no sleep apnea
and my depression is better then he considers the surgery a success,
regardless of the amount lost.
— Denise B.
September 15, 2003
Thank you very much for all your replies. I had read so many questions
from people wanting to lose more weight, I was starting to feel that
something must be wrong with me. I didn't want to be one of those people
who weigh every morning, count every calorie and fat grams. I am very
careful and I am trying to make this a way of life. I don't want my life
to focus around numbers. There is so much more I can do now. I am very
healthy. I no longer have high blood pressure, sleep apena, acid reflux or
border line diabetic. I really like who I am now. I want to lose more
weight, but it doesn't mean I am a failure if I don't. Thank you for
making me feel normal.
— june22
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