Question:
I just got a new job. Should I tell them about my WLS?
I didn't tell anyone at my old job that I had WLS. I was so afraid it wouldn't work and I didn't want to admit I had to do something so drastic. I was ashamed to be honest. I now have a new job. With a 120 lbs weight loss and a new understanding of my disease, I am no longer ashamed. I was wondering if I should be honest with my new employer so they can understand my need for a water bottle at all times and my small meals. I don't want special treatment and don't want that "I'm so sorry for you" look either. I went last week without telling them and I had some serious water issues during the week. I defintely need my water bottle. How can I handle this? If I tell them, I am sure my ex-employer will find out. How should I handle it if they question me. To date they think I am working with a nutritionist who helped me lose weight. That is true. I just didn't tell them about the surgery. If you have a similar experience and wish to email me--my email is [email protected] — june22 (posted on July 27, 2003)
July 27, 2003
Hi, Brenda. I find most people are VERY supportive. They are proud of my
progress and willing to help me along my journey in any way they can. They
are excited for me and want to share in my happiness. The only people who
wouldn't show support would be those who are jealous of our
accomplishments. I have been horribly overweight for over 30 years. So
when I announced I was having the WLS there was some concern for my safety,
but everyone was supportive. I don't see obesity as a disease. It's
something we can control...one way or another. It takes lots of will power
that I never had. I was so not a success at 'dieting'. So this was a way
of accomplishing a goal. My goal was to be healthy and in the process look
good too. How could ANY one NOT be supportive of good health? I vote for
being honest and open with your employer and fellow employees. I bet you
will find such great support and encouragement there. Be proud you are
'taking your life back', Brenda. Don't ever jeapordize your health by not
doing the things we were told to do to be healthy after WLS. Our water
bottles are our constant companions. I go NO where without mine.
Congratulations on your success. A loss of 120. GREAT going!
(Open RNY 10/30/02 and down 177)
— Ginger M.
July 27, 2003
If you're no longer ashamed...what's the big deal? You don't need to
announce it. Just drink your water when you want it and eat your small
meals. If someone asks and you feel like telling them why, tell them. Or
not. Get one of those water jugs that has a strap to it and carry it
around like a purse (or get a purse with a space for a bottle. A lot of us
mistakenly believe that everyone is worrying about what we're doing when
they're really more concerned with themselves and are hardly thinking about
you. (that's what you're doing right? How do you know that someone at
your job isn't worried that you might find out something about them when
you are not even thinking about them? Amazing how it works.)
— Kimberly L.
July 27, 2003
There is no need to tell them and it is definitely none of their business.
Just let them know that due to medical reasons, you need to work extra hard
to stay hydrated (just say it's how your body works), so you'll need your
water bottle. Tell them that your doctor requires this. They don't have a
right to know the details of any medical condition that you might have, and
personally, I think this is a private matter and has nothing to do with
whether you feel "ashamed" or not.
— mom2jtx3
July 27, 2003
Today in our society, it seems perfectly normal to see everyone with a
water bottle. I even take mine to church, something completely unheard of
several years ago. I don't think your water bottle would be an
issue---because everyone does it! I LOVE the fact that I have only 2 people
that know about my surgery, my husband and my mother. I am 2 1/2 yrs post
op. If it were me, I would NOT tell them. I love meeting people for the
first time and knowing that they don't know the "fat" me. It is
very empowering. I know there are those that are the roof-top shouters, but
I am just not one of them. I have been very private. Now, that I am so far
post op, I am really, really glad that I didn't tell. Shelley
— Shelley.
July 27, 2003
I have a friend who had cancer of the salivary glands a few years back.
She has to have her water bottle by her all the time too; so it's not just
us.
I'd keep it a secret; my workmates think I'm a bit of a freak for doing
this. Be nice to have new folks around me who didn't know. Also they
might make the incorrect assumption that you'll be out sick a lot - people
get crazy ideas.
— Margaret G.
July 27, 2003
Would you tell them about an appendectomy, or having your tonsils out, or
about hemorroid surgery in the past? Then why tell them about this? It's
not a matter of being ashamed or not, it's about your right to privacy. I
don't know what your job is, but if you have to have your boss's permission
to have a water bottle nearby, then simply ask if you can have water
available If s/he says no, then explain that you have a medical condition
that requires you to be hydrated, and ask for an accomodation. Unless that
accomodation places a severe hardship on your employer, they would nearly
have to grant it under ADA requirements. But, as other posters sid, it's
very likely that no one is going to give two thoughts about your habits.
Don't worry about it, and enjoy your new job!
— Vespa R.
July 27, 2003
Is there something unusual about your job that makes having a bottle with
you difficult? If not, what's the problem? Like another poster said, people
take water with them everywhere these days; you don't need an excuse or a
fake disease. As to small meals, again I don't get teh problem. Lots of
people are watching their weight. I work with >100 people and everyone
has something different, some just a small salad, others full course meals;
I munch protein bars. No biggie! Now that you are normal
weight--congrats!!--your weight and what you eat are a non-issue to the
rest of the world. As to telling your employer...they are not entitled to
know anything about you other than whether you are qualified to do the job
they hired you to do. If you want to tell them or anyone else that is up to
you. It's your body and your life and it's all up to YOU!
— Chris T.
July 27, 2003
I agree with Chris...get out while you can. If I'd not had an
"in-network" surgeon his fee alone would have been about 3 grand
more than after the discount...and the hospital gave a discount of over 10
grand for being in-network. I made sure all I "hired" were
in-network and I'd suggest others do too, if at all possible!
— [Deactivated Member]
July 27, 2003
whoops - wrong question/answer lol. Ignore my reply below :>(
— [Deactivated Member]
July 28, 2003
Get a copy of your "before" picture and frame it and put it on
your desk, let the employees see it and ask you questions. Most of all, Be
PROUD of yourself!
— Bob M.
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