Question:
Guys- How Do You Deal With Attention From Women?>
Can anyone tell me if after you have started to lose weight and people started to notice you meaning (woman) did your spouses keep a close eye on you to make sure you dont wonder. I gave no reason for her to think it but just need to know. Also Woman do any of your DH's check up on you also since you are getting thinner. Thanks — tonyskid (posted on June 25, 2003)
June 25, 2003
I guess I'm lucky in that my husband is not the jealous or worrisome type.
He's thrilled with my loss and new look, but trusts me implicitly! I hope
you are as lucky!
— [Deactivated Member]
June 25, 2003
I spend so much time on line now that my husband keeps asking me if I have
met someone on line on this site. I think that if someone stayed with you
when you were not at your best that you had better stay with them and share
the best with them when you get there. I think that it is only natural for
most of us women to be more jealous once we think that people would have an
interest in our man. You must reassure her of your love and intentions.
Just my two cents.
— Trin2rilax Cheryl McCoy
June 25, 2003
I too have been blessed with a very supportive spouse-- she giggles
whenever she hears someone saying that I'm looking good. I guess the
biggest testament to her, though, is that when I posted my before and after
pictures, she was certain that I must have doctored the "befores"
b/c she said that she never remembered my being that big. It's nice that
she didn't see the fat, but still appreciates the changes in me physically
and emotionally since dropping 227 pounds these past 8 1/2 months.
— SteveColarossi
June 25, 2003
I have gotten big hugs from nearly every old girlfriend I run into when
they first saw me thin. In many cases this is the most affection they ever
showed. I dated lots of females who were looking for companionship rather
than romance. Frankly it made me uncomfortable but now I dont care. Jen
found it amusing, with one exception. I have one old friend who is getting
WLS. Tells old bob stories at support group functions and kinda annoys Jen.
Both me and my wife Jen had WLS. I went first. Thats pretty unusual women
generally do it and guys follow along reluctantly. One reason I did this
was so I was loosing weight before Jen did. I know I was concerned. They
say good realtionships get better bad ones fall apart. I think this is
true. My surgeon told us after we both had surgery thant MO couples where
only one gets WLS almost always end in divorce.
— bob-haller
June 25, 2003
I know that my husband is proud of how I look and what I have accomplished
so far. He loved me heavy and he'll love me when I am thin. I think for
alot of spouses when we(man or woman) are heavy, in some ways, it is a
safety net for them because, let's face it, most people are not
"that" attracted to overweight people. Well, then that spouse
starts loosing the weight and looking and feeling better and other people
see it and are attracted by it and the stares and comments become more
frequent, and the spouse can start to feel like the safety net is starting
to come unraveled. I know that I have not given my DH anything to worry
about, even with all the attention. He does pick about it at me and I
finally told him to stop. If I had wanted to be with someone else, I could
have done that when I was heavy. With this surgery, I think the emotional
changes are so much more than the physical ones. I guess our spouses just
need a little more reassuring that we aren't going anywhere. Hope this made
sense..:o) God bless!
— dixieb
June 26, 2003
My dh gets a kick out of it. He just laughs and says he knows who I'm
going home with :) I think it's true that it makes good marriages
stronger. Is your wife overweight? Maybe she's insecure and thinks that
if you lose weight you'll find someone else. Reassure her that you will
always know that she loves you for YOU, not how you LOOK. I don't give
those "other" men the time of day, because I know they wouldn't
have bothered giving ME the time of day 150 pounds ago. Who needs 'em!
;-)
— mom2jtx3
June 26, 2003
My DH loves it when I am with him. However, he doesn't think it is so
funny when he isn't around. After I hit goal he started lifting weight
everyday and dieting. (This is the person that never exercised) He went
from a size 36 to a 32 and has really built up his arms and shoulders
nicely.
— Linda A.
June 26, 2003
Attention from women??? What women? What are women???
lol :(
— Danmark
June 26, 2003
My husband is a big guy (330 lbs, 6 feet tall). I went in to visit him at
his office a couple weeks ago and met his co-workers. He told me that they
- especially his secretary - went on and on about how cute I was - almost
as if they were surprised by it in a "how did he land her?" way.
Obviously, we don't match up physically as well as we used to before I had
surgery. He knows I'd never stray (especially since I'm 6 months pregnant
with our first baby), so I doubt he's worried. It's mainly a stroke to his
ego. I just keep telling him that everyone must think he's really good in
bed to have landed a hot chick like me. ;)
— mandajuice
June 26, 2003
No, my DH doesn't 'check up' on me cause we have a great, trusting
relationship and he knows I would never do anything to jepordize it. What
has happened is that he did feel 'the pressure' to look better after my PS
and at goal. He has gone from 254lbs to 210 and still going. So, he is
looking and feeling better himself. He's liking my new body and I'm diggin
his! Life is grand!
But, I have gotten ALOT of male attention since my WLS and alot more since
my PS. Can't say that I don't like it (what man or woman wouldn't after
years of being 'invisible'?), but I just flash my wedding ring and thats
the end of that! Good for the self esteem though!
— Kris T.
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