Question:
Self-conscious body language anyone?

I have lost 110 pounds since my RNY October 2002. I still have about 50 more to go. I've been receiving lots of great feedback lately about my weight loss from work and social circles. My question is that I've noticed lately that I've been kind of protecting myself with body language and was wondering if anyone else was doing this and how did you get over it? I'm not jeopardizing my progress with overeating or eating the wrong things in order to gain weight and 'hide' myself, but I feel like I'm trying to hide. For example, I fold my arms across my chest when talking to people, I look away from strangers in hallways and elevators, and I wear clothes that are a little too big sometimes. Thanks for your help and support!    — Yolanda J. (posted on June 20, 2003)

June 20, 2003
I'm still pre-op but in my opinion it could be that you were using your extra weight as a way of protecting yourself. As someone who works in the mental health field, I have seen many people that have had bad experiences when they were younger and use fat as a shield. When you lose the weight you also lose that protection that is shielding you from hurt and making yourself vulnerable to others. What I'm saying is that this may be the case for you. If you are concerned you should probably see a therapist to work out why you feel this way. See one anyway, it can't hurt. I hope that this helps.
   — Morna B.

June 20, 2003
I know after I started to stable out with my weight I would cross my arms and lean forward on my knees. But that was more to hide my paunchy belly. I know the rest of me looked slim...ahhh but the belly. I still have it, but am getting used to it. (I'm gonna have it -the excess skin- removed when the timing with work is right). I don't find myself doing it as often. I think once you get used to your "new" self you won't be as self conscious and those sorts of habits will ease up. Congrats on your great success by the way. -Kim open RNY 7/17/01 -150
   — KimBo36

June 20, 2003
Hi... Kim said it all quite well! It just takes time and you making yourself open up! Don't fret though, and get into those clothes that fit, okay? Don't make yourself feel fat any more! This is coming from a person who walked around holding her pants up for eight months!! Sheeze, what a shocker when I went shopping and tried on a size 24 shorts and they fell off. When the size 18's fell off, so did my jaw! I picked up a size ten and looked at the butt... shook my head "NO WAY" and put them back... just to sneak into the dressing room with them anyway!! LOL!! AND THEY FIT! Wear those clothes that fit and be darned with anyone else! Look good, feel good!! That's what you did this for, in addition to being healthy! :~)
   — Sharon M. B.

June 20, 2003
Hey, Yolanda, I had RNY in October 2002 also! I have found lately that I am wanting to buy clothes that fit a little better, instead of my usual lightweight knit pants and tee shirts I usually wear to work. I am still fat, and I have a lot of abdominal fat and flab still hanging around, so the challenge now is finding clothes that fit but don't accentuate my figure "flaws" as the magazines call them! LOL! I have been invisible for so long, even in the small office I work in, that it still shocks me when people (especially the men) actually look at me and speak! I find that I use the same body language as you described! However, I am getting used to this new me, and it seems to be changing slowly. I was out walking the other day, and suddenly realized I was walking tall, with my head up; a change from the person who generally watched the ground ! Give yourself time to adjust your mind to your new and changing body - it will come!
   — koogy