Question:
How do I handle the weight problem of my child?

I have 2 boys, one aged 11 and one age 8. My 11 year old takes after me a lot. He is skinny to normal weight which is how I was as a kid, but I began to gain as a late teenager. I am concerned that at some point he will have a late weight issue like I did. My 8 year old is definitely overweight and takes after my husband - overweight pretty much since birth. It's already hard to find clothes for him. Fortunately, his schoolmates haven't teased him so far. Both boys eat pretty much the same things and are always outside, participate in sports, and walk to and from school. Our pediatrician has advised us to take my 8 year old to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for a nutrition consultation to help him out and all four of us would participate in the program. I've never kept chips, cookies, junk in the house and he eats carrots, bananas, other healthier foods for snacks. How much will this program help him - does anyone know what this is about? I want to ask the doc questions, but I get emotional (cry) when it comes up at the doc's office and I feel foolish. I am under the impression that the pediatrician thinks he just plays video games all the time and gets no activity and eats junk all day long. I know he does get the usual snacks at school like every other kid, but why is HE overweight? What more can I do to help him? I don't want to harp on his eating and activities as my parents did to my sister and I. I know harping won't help, we got MO anyway. I have shared with them why I had WLS six months ago (for my health), and how I need to eat (healthy and no junk), and I take them with me when I go to the track each day. I just want him to be happy and healthy and avoid all of the pain and humiliation of being overweight, and not obsessed with food or weight. Please give me advice about what I should and should not do about his (our) problem.    — Yolanda J. (posted on April 14, 2003)

April 14, 2003
Yolanda, I think that the nutrition consultation sounds like a great idea. They may be able to help figure out what changes in your son's diet are need in order to help stablize his weight. I think it's great that everyone in the family would participate. You need to find a way to be able to ask your questions to the doctor. Would it help if you wrote them down before the appointment? Or maybe, your husband could ask the questions for you. If nothing else works, write the doctor a letter. You asked the perfect question in your post, "What more can I do to help him?" Hopefully that is the very question that the nutrition program can answer.
   — Amber L.

April 14, 2003
Starting with a nutritional consulation sounds like an excellent idea. Our pediatrician was fairly indifferent when I addressed my 12 year olds weight with him. (everyone in the family was thin except her and I). I would strongly suggest reading a book called Trim Kids. It is excellent. I checked it out from the library, then purchased it. I read it cover to cover, and was then better prepared to discuss my childs weight with the pediatrician, and most importantly with her. It has made a tremendous change in her eating and activity level. She too is an athlete and I thought was getting plenty of excercise. This book talks about fun, excercise, and health, our main goals in nutrition. Good luck to you!
   — Nene B.

April 14, 2003
I so understand! My oldest is 9 and he is chunky like I was in school. He has a tendency to be more sedentary, but is easily encouraged to play outside and is involved in sports. My youngest is 3 - and never stops! He is thin, they are complete opposites INCLUDING the fact that the little one stops eating when he is full, but the oldest has always eaten until it's all gone. We've talked alot about being healthy this last year, we have mostly fruit for snacks. For him, he's only allowed one juice or pop a day - we found those calories add up fast! Otherwise he drinks water. He walks with me (he thinks he's looking out for me LOL!), and we are working on eating because we are hungry - not because it is "time" or we are bored. The nutritionist sure couldn't hurt, if only to place emphasis that you are establishing good habits. Good luck!
   — Mendi M.

April 14, 2003
I just read an article recently about school lunches contributing to kids being overweight. I immediately reviewed what my school was serving, and started packing my son's lunch. He is on the average to husky size, and my other size in underweight. Isn't it odd how that happens? You're doing the right thing by helping him now, and the consultation sure can't hurt!
   — Diana L.

April 14, 2003
I remember when i first went to a nutritionist when i was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, i was so shocked by serving sizes. I think it would really help your children to gain knowledge and help them to make good decisions about what they are eating, and help them learn the correct serving sizes for different foods so they can have some "forbidden foods" just like every other child but they will measure it out. I would get them each a scale and set of measuring cups and let them prepare their own plates by measuring and weighing foods. It will help them to take it out of your hands and empower them. All you will have to do is cook good low fat/low sugar foods at home. Also, every time you go to a fast food resturante get a nutritional info menu and keep it in the car so that you all can look at that menu before you go in and order. The nutritionist will tell them how many calories they should have and so on. You are doing really good from what you posted, keep your head up and you can help them to develope even better habbits that will carry on as adults. Good luck and your family is in my prayers!
   — rachel W.

April 15, 2003
I would coach this as you needing to learn and needing their help. This is a perfect example of how we are all different. Both boys eat about the same and are about the same in activity level yet one is fat and one is not. Life is not fair (if it was, I would be thin and rich LOL). Good luck
   — Sunny S.