Question:
Stress eating:(
Well my dad has pagets disease and a broken hip. Its interited a weakness of the bones. He is in bad shape and at 74 needs a new hip. He is unable to put ANY weight on hois leg. I just got back from seeing him in Phoenix, I live in pittsburgh. Along with this my step mom stated I didnt need surgery, eating right and exercising more would of fixed my weight problem. This from the person who once filled the room I stayed in there with Weight Watcher info, and talked constantly of how I should loose the weight. Both her, my dad, and many others are MO or close to it. I didnt say much other than " Well I did something that worked for ME " Normally I would of gotten upset but given my dads condition and the high risk surgery he needs I kept quiet. She is the FIRST totally non supportive person I ran into, it was honestly a shock. <P> Well all this led to lots of stress eating, and I am wondering how others handle stress eating? My dad cant have surgery for 6 weeks and even then its not certain his remaining bones will be strong enough to accept the new hip. Advice on stress eating and any info on pagets will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. — bob-haller (posted on December 3, 2002)
December 2, 2002
Bless your heart for being a good son and spending time with your Dad. And
shame on your SM for being so ugly to you. I really like what the previous
poster said....I would probably add that journaling helps get stuff out of
MY head and I can forget about it sooner. Obviously your SM doesn't know
what is best for you and is probably justifying why she doesn't do
something about her weight. You hang in there - remember why you took this
step - to save your life! Be thankful God brought you through it safely
and put your guilt about the stress eating behind you. You are a good man
to go and be with your dad to begin with, and that step of kindness
shouldn't have to make you so unhappy. Blessings....
— Scarlett A.
December 2, 2002
Bob, it makes my heart ache that you are going through this. You are the
most supportive, best cheerleader we all have and shouldn't have any
negative stuff in your life. I think the journaling is a great idea to
get rid of the feelings or vent to all of us loudly and often! As for the
stress eating I suspect it is a much smaller amount than ever before and
it's not as bad as you think. Just don't beat yourself up and try to take
each hour and day as it comes. You are a great guy. I wish you the best
and hope things work out with your Dad's hip.
— Mary U.
December 3, 2002
I am so sorry to hear about your dad's illness. I think it is much harder
to see those we love going through a tough and scary time than it is to go
through it ourselves. We want them well, and fixed up, and feeling good,
but we can't make it happen ourselves (especially when they're sick!).
Then comes the stress eating. And in your stepmom's case, maybe some
misdirected hostility from her own stress, aimed at you, which sure doesn't
help you!!<P>Just like the other posters, I hope you won't beat
yourself up about some limited overeating. Try anything else you can think
of to release your nervous energy and anxiety about your dad. Taking more
walks, getting out of the house and away from the food, drinking tons more
water -- whatever you do, please remember to take care of yourself and not
beat yourself up with food!
— Suzy C.
December 3, 2002
Hi Bob, first I would like to say that I read the Q & A's almost every
day and you always pay close attention and give good advice to people,
pre-op and post-ops alike. My uncle had Paget's disease, ended up on elbow
crutches, but that didn't stop him from moving around or enjoying life. A
lot will probably depend on your dad's attitude, if he gets depressed and
wants to give up, that might not be good for his recovery. It is a very
slow, progressive disease. My uncle lived with it a LONG time. I wish
you, and your Dad, the best of luck with all of it. Stress eating - I
suffer from it myself! My brain is what's telling me to eat, eat, eat.
Although I haven't conquered it, I find that trying to keep myself busier
helps. Like, if I feel like eating, get off the couch and hop on the
treadmill for at least 15 minutes. Or, have celery with peanut butter to
snack on. Or, I do puzzles, so that I don't think so much about the food.
I wish it were easy, or that there was an easier answer. Hope this helps!
— [Deactivated Member]
December 3, 2002
Hi Bob. First of all let me echo what everyone else has said and tell you
that this site and the people on it benefit greatly from your devotion and
hard work. We appreciate you more than you know. I realize that some
people feel that a strict eating plan is the key to success. However, I
didn't have this surgery so I could be on an eternal diet. I've had some
stressful issues lately myself (double mastectomy, elderly parent issues,
etc.) and I find that stress eating or comfort eating is still a temptation
for me. Rather than denying myself and making myself nuts I've found a
relatively acceptable way to give in to it a little bit. Instead of going
to the grocery store and buying a bag of Chips Ahoy and a can of Pringles
and other "good stuff" I go to a convenience store instead. I
buy a single serving pack of cookies and a single serving bag of some kind
of chips and then maybe even a single Hershy's kiss or two. It's junky
food and extra calories but once it's gone - it's gone. I don't have the
rest of the big bag of cookies screaming my name from the pantry. Usually
this mini binge MORE than satisfies me and there's nothing left over to
tempt me and while I've added extra calories it hasn't been enough to make
me gain 20 pounds. Of course, if you did this every day it would be a bad
thing. I hope no one flames me for giving a tutorial in cheating but I
think we all live in the real world - we had surgery on our stomachs, not
our brains and sometimes it's o.k. to give in. Part of our learning
process is knowing when to stop. While most of us look at you as a role
model, Bob, we also know that you're just human. If you have weak moments
that's perfectly o.k. and that's when we're here to support you. Don't
beat yourself up. You'll weather this and be stronger for it. What a
shame that your step mother doesn't see you for the inspiring individual
you are - she's really missing out. Hope all goes well with your Dad and
may the Lord bless and keep you during this difficult and frustrating time.
— ronascott
December 3, 2002
hi bob :) sorry for what you are going through with your dad.i hope all
goes well for him. try not to beat yourself up with the stress eating. we
are all faced with that at times and we all have givin in at times. just
think, stress eating post op is nowhere near what it was pre op. your not
alone. your dad is in my prayers. hang in there sweety (hugs)
— carrie M.
December 3, 2002
Hi Bob. A little late for step-mom to be saying that you don't need the
surgery, huh? Your best to just ignore her and not even address her
comments reference surgery. If she is the first non-supportive person,
your doing well. As for stress eating, I raise my hand, as I am a stress
and emotional eater and eat to comfort. OK, Here are my ways to handle
it-first, I, too, like Rona below, buy the little snack pack size cookies
packets and Hersheys kisses so that I don't eat too many. When I eat them,
I nibble so that I make a mini-cookie last a long time! Sometimes I just
need to keep feeding the face (comfort?) and will make light popcorn and
eat it one kernel at a time. Also, you can try water loading. Sometimes
that will give me a full feeling just long enough to get past the craving
stage. I have also made a big protein shake, full of frozen fruit which
works sometimes. If I have to have chips (I know, oiy, the dreaded carbs),
I will have a handful of WOW chips (lo cal and lo fat). And, lastly, I try
to keep a bag of crunchy cut up veggies in the fridge-sometimes I just need
to munch. Don't beat yourself up. Hope some of these tips help. You've
helped us so much, perhaps we can give back to you.
— Cindy R.
December 3, 2002
This site has also been such a huge support for me. I really don't know
what I would do without it. And I even go to support grp at the hosp, and
another online support grp. For me they are all so essential and I've made
so many friends. But I too want to stress eat. And boredom eat. I'm only
finally going back to work next week, after a year and a half because of
surgery complications. Some days I feel like sitting down and just eating
all day. One thing I had to stop, I wouldnt bring cookies, candy, ice
cream, etc home any longer. If I want it, I'll stop at a gas station and
buy a single pak of something and slowly eat it. Other than that, I won't
buy large amts of it. Then my mom started bringing stuff over. She visits
alot and wants ice cream, fudge, cookies, etc. here in case she wants some.
I had to put my foot down and get very firm with her to stop her. She just
came over today again and without my knowing it, I opened my fridge and in
there is a box of Miese's Candies and a roll of slice n bake cookies. I
can't believe the insensitivity of people. It's like they want to you fail.
I try to do my stress eating with fruits, turkey & beef jerky.
Especially with jerky, I get tired of eating it cause you have to
chew-chew-chew and so I stop after a smal amt. Also speaking of chewing, I
use chewing and bubble gum to help. Not lots of it but I do chew gum and
some with sugar. I'm one of those people who believes if I start cheating
even once, then its all over and I'll keep on cheating. I've always been
that way. When I would go on Weight Watchers, I would loose 70-80 lbs
within 8-9 mths because I would not cheat even once. Then I would burn out
on the diet, cheat and it was all over. Gain all the weight back and more.
I am now on meds for that and working very hard on changing those thinking
and behavior patterns because I too believe you need to relax and let
yourself go once in awhile and then pick up and move on.
— Karla K.
December 4, 2002
Thanks for all the nice posts. I am going to eat good filling foods first,
to slow the stress eating, hey steak has to be better than a candy bar. As
for my step mom I was shocked at her comment but she has her hands full
with my dad. Frankly I am glad she didnt do it pre op, thats tough enough
as is. I guess it was disappointing but really doesnt matter. Its probably
more that she doesnt want anyone else there doing it. A bunch are MO,
including her it may be a attempt to discourage other family members from
even considering it. I have seen this before. I need to update my profile,
our pictuires are in. Its a tough time and I REALLY appreciate all the well
wishes both public and private I have received. You are all great friends,
thanks so much bob
— bob-haller
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